Suicide Threat: How Will You Respond? - Response Saturday #25

Last Tuesday, I posed a hypothetical situation.

Let's say you're walking down the street and you see someone about to jump off a bridge, obviously about to kill themselves. How are you supposed to respond?

When I was a Resident Assistant over a hall of freshmen during my Sophomore year of college, I was trained in methods of suicide prevention, though I admit my knowledge is considerably rusty now. My recent research has helped remind me some of the important steps.

#1 - Get help.

Call the authorities immediately. They know what to do. Once you know help/back-up is on the way, approach the individual.

#2 - Keep them talking.

Individuals who are considering suicide generally feel isolated and alone. Showing a genuine interest in them will help them open up, and most individuals contemplating suicide will confess if asked a direct question.

If you're not sure your man on a ledge is suicidal or playing Pokemon Go (or even innocently both), engage in a conversation with them. You might say, "Nice day we're having!" or "How are you doing?" Odds are, they won't respond with cheerfulness, and may even say exactly what's bothering them. If you feel their mood is, indeed, depressed, ask them the question and see how they respond.

#3 - Try to understand them.

If the suffering individual hasn't explained why they're suicidal, ask them to. It could be a broken relationship, or job, or a combination of things. For whatever reason, the individual is hurting, and they won't want you to try and fix the problem. If you just ask questions and listen to what they say, you may be able to gain some valuable insights into who they are.

#4 - Help them see they need help.

This is the tricky part. They may say they don't want help even when they're just testing to see how much you actually want to help and if you'll give up on them. They may genuinely resent you for meddling in their life, and rebuff any of your pleas to find someone more educated and qualified than you in this sort of situation. If they respond negatively to your suggestion, back off and continue to keep them talking. The longer you do, the easier it will be for the authorities to respond in time.

#5 - Your mileage may vary.

I don't wish anyone, myself included, to have to work as a mediator between someone and their own death. However, I still think having some sort of plan in place to deal with these situations will help in the long run.

Of course, when it comes to extreme emotions--you know, the type that prompts people to commit suicide--there are no textbooks. Everyone is going to react and respond to situations differently, and that includes people trying to talk them down from a deadly bridge-jumping experience. In the end, you may have to go with your gut. And speaking of mileage ...

#6 - Pray

If you're a religious person (and most of you who read this blog are), invoke the power of heaven to help you. You may not know what to do and what to say, but if you remember the Lord, he will remember you.

I know every member of my own family has had experiences dealing with persons pondering suicide, while I, myself, am the least experienced of the bunch. Regardless, because of this, I know how important it is to prepare for anything. I wouldn't say I've ever saved someone's life, but I have managed to get individuals to the help they needed because of the preparations I've received--even if I've had to remind myself of that training over this past week.

I'm not an expert, but even if I'm way off base, I have a plan because I want to be able to help.

Thanks for reading.

My Testimony of Christ - Response Saturday #21

Here is the testimony response I received this week.

And here is my own testimony.

I am a man prone to error and fault. I often find myself failing to live up to my standards and ideals, both assumed and self-imposed. I struggle at times to see myself as someone capable of much of anything at all.

But I remember the role of the Savior in my life. He is not just a name or a person or even a concept. He is real, He is invested in me personally, and He is willing to do everything he can to see my success. He took upon Himself my weaknesses, my sins, my mistakes, and my pains, and grants me the chance to erase them all, if I'll only do as He asks. And I'm willing.

I know Christ lives. I know He suffered for me in the garden and on the cross, and I know He continues to guide my life. I have felt his presence and his love time and time again, and I cannot deny them.

My testimony may be least of all. It's hard to impart how integral such a momentous relationship can be in my life. But it is. He is.

I know my Redeemer lives.

Will You Testify of Christ? - Thinkjoust Tuesday #52

I use the label 'Thinkjoust' here gratuitously. The topic doesn't offer much of a debate per se, but I would like to receive responses, so this week's thinkjoust it is.

When I look at the total sum of every word, phrase, and rhetoric I could offer the world, the possibilities stretch toward the infinite (and if you doubt me, check out this blog post by Randall Munroe). When I go on social media sites like Facebook, I see hundreds of people just talking, sharing the things they think are the most important, whether it's relationship updates, concerns about the current political climate, recommendations for a new product, or just exuberant expressions of emotional ecstasy.

I, too, have this same opportunity, to grab someone's attention for possibly only a few seconds a day. When someone scrolls past my name, what will they think of my thoughts? Will they be inspired? Will they be disgusted? Will they find me inconsequential? Will they respond?

I often forget this, saying things that aren't necessarily important or relevant to me and my goals. When I come to the realization that I've lost my own vision, I like to take a few steps back and again voice what I believe to be the highest priority.

For me, that's testifying of Christ.

I know not everyone who reads this blog is a Christian, but I would guess that most of you are. For this week, I challenge you to testify of Christ in some way, be it through social media, a blog post, or even face-to-face. Tell of your experiences with and love for the Savior and his everlasting grace and mercy.

And then, if you want, share those testimonies with me, whether you copy-paste it into a comment below, or just send me the URL.

I'll be sharing my testimony of the Savior myself this Saturday, after I showcase your responses to this challenge.

Will you take it?

I Make Mistaeks

As I said on Tuesday, I'm not perfect. And part of not being perfect is making mistaeks.

Mistaeks are things I struggle with. I have a hard time letting them go, if you remember my personality type from the 16 personalities post. As the website states, "[I] define [my] self-esteem by whether [I am] able to live up to [my] ideals, and sometimes ask for criticism more out of insecurity than out of confidence, always wondering what [I] could do better. If [I] fail to meet a goal or to help someone [I] said [I'd] help, [my] self-confidence will undoubtedly plummet."

As an example, I am a very huggy, touchy-feely sort of person who grew up in a household full of huggy, touchy-feely sort of people. Sure, some of us grew out of that, but I didn't. And so I sometimes make a jerkwad of myself when I go in for a hug with a friend I consider close, and they ain't havin' it.

Or other times, I make inappropriate jokes that sounded a whole lot better or even just cleaner inside my head. Sometimes I totally forget that I made a commitment. Other times, I'm just selfish and don't want to give my time of day to people who really need it.

And then I can't stop thinking about what I did wrong. I keep agonizing and sweating over my failures and wishing I didn't make such a fool of myself all the time.

I could go on. The thing is, no matter how many mistaeks I make, I know things are going to turn out all right.

I know this because things have turned out all right before.

So if you're anything like me, and you hate the mistakes you make, don't worry. Through the grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ, there will be nothing left broken or unhealed.

He hasn't left me yet, despite everything.

I Am Not Perfect

Sometimes, when I sit down to write this blog, I worry.

I think it's important to sound authoritative when I write my own personal opinions. Otherwise, I seem unsure of myself, which heavily undermines whatever message I'm sharing.

The thing is, I know I sometimes say things you don't agree with. I know my wording can sometimes be vague or unintentionally confusing. Some blog posts are better than others, and some are just garbage.

This isn't something I just struggle with when blogging, either. I constantly fail to live up to my own expectations and standards. I find my conviction to my personal beliefs threatened every day. I doubt my intelligence, my goodness, my worth. I know I'm selfish with my time and my service. Smiling to myself sometimes feels like a lie.

I say all this to point out that I don't think myself better than you, my readers and fans. If anything, you inspire me to do better, to reach inside and dig out the very best I have, even if I miss the mark and bring up garbage instead.

So, thank you. Thank you for being patient and forgiving when I don't provide what you're seeking. I want to be a better blogger, a better Christian, and above all, just an all-around better person.

I love you--yes, you--and I'll see you Thursday.

So DOES Christ Tap-Dance? - Response Saturday #19

Last Tuesday, I asked the question, "Is Christ a Good Tap-Dancer?"

This week's one response went as follows:

I tend to agree.

As God's children, we are sent down to earth to learn, develop, and grow. Part of that process revolves around learning and assimilating talents. Christ, too, didn't come to the cradle knowing how to speak or walk. He had to learn such things the same way we did.

So, a better question might be, "Has Christ chosen to learn how to Tap-Dance yet?" Because of the nature of the question, we won't find an answer, but we can be assured that, if He so chose, Christ would be one mean tap-dancer. And you know what? Life is short and full of possibilities. Why not go out and learn tap-dancing yourself?

And for the record, if I had to guess, I would say no, He doesn't know how to tap-dance. At least not yet, anyway.

Your Personal Beliefs Are Flawed - Thursday Thought #5

Yes, I'm a Mormon, and yes, I attend a University owned by the Mormons.

We Latter-Day Saints believe in keeping the Sabbath Day holy. This includes refraining from participating in our usual labors. In order to encourage others to avoid their own usual labors, we are encourage to avoid buying things on Sunday. After all, if we go to a restaurant or a store, then we're making someone else go to work when we believe nobody should have to on the Sabbath.

Further interpretation is left up to the individual, and differences sometimes lead to philosophical debates between members. For example, I recently bought something from an on-campus vending machine on Sunday, a frequent habit of mine, and one of my friends claimed I was breaking the Sabbath.

I owe my mentality to my circumstances. I've lived in the freshmen dorms, where eating a Sunday meal at the on-campus cafeteria is both encouraged and expected. The Missionary Training Center feeds their missionaries at a cafeteria, too, and people staff both places each and every day.

As for my friend, I can't say his circumstances. I don't know what paths he's taken to get a different understanding than me.

But that doesn't mean either of us are wrong.

Sometimes, our personal beliefs just don't suit others, no matter how much overlap already exists. The important thing is to respect each other's beliefs. As we learn more about each other, we may even find beliefs we want to call our own.

So, yes. Your personal beliefs are flawed, but that just means they're not perfect. But then again, it's not a competition. Why not work with others to find those flaws?

Is Christ a Good Tap-Dancer? - Thinkjoust Tuesday #50

This thinkjoust is pretty simple.

Many Christians believe Jesus Christ is perfect. Some people believe that Christ's perfection extends beyond his leadership, personality, and self-awareness to talents and abilities.

In essence, if Christ is perfect, then how is he perfect? Is he a perfect singer? Is he a perfect dancer? Is he a perfect sculptor, athlete, artist? Is Christ an excellent tap-dancer? His time on earth didn't give him time to learn all these things, but did he know them before? When he ascended, did he gain those abilities after?

So, to sum things up, does the Christian concept of perfection include tap-dancing?

I'll respond with my own thoughts this next Saturday, but what do you think? Be sure to leave a comment below or on social media, and you may be featured!

Why You Should Challenge Your Beliefs - Response Saturday #15

This past Tuesday, I asked the question, 'Should You Question Your Beliefs?"

There weren't as many comments to sort through this week, but the few who commented were fairly unanimous. We should challenge our beliefs. One commentator pointed out that 'challenging belief' is really just seeking truth, wherever and however you may find it.

However, when it comes down to it, the post is called Why one should challenge their beliefs. Let me explain the way I see it.

Some buildings grow old and decrepit after many years of use. However, if architects and construction crews alter the structure to modern standards, the building can be reused for a new and unique purpose, if not the original purpose.

When you exercise, you're trying to get stronger. The effort can actually tear your muscles (on a microscopic level, sure, but hey), but it is the resulting healing process that actually lends you new strength.

Funnily enough, some of my most memorable friendships came to be because I initially accounted them among my rivals and enemies.

My point is, weakness always precedes strength. If you take pains to challenge your own beliefs, you may feel uncertain for a time, but then you are able to be more confident in the truths you have discovered.

I know my beliefs were challenged several times while I served my mission in Arizona and Jamaica. I wondered many times if I was doing the right thing. But after every crisis of faith, I studied and thought about things and came away with a better understanding of not just what I believe in, but also who I am as a person.

And that is more valuable to me than anything.

So don't be afraid to question yourself. If you come away with a different understanding of the world, well, that just means you're progressing and improving.

Good luck on your journey.

This Week's Top Comments

Why You Can't Judge Groups as a Whole

I belong to a lot of different groups. I am a Mormon by religion. I belong to various groups of bloggers and writers. I am a walker, a Steventhusiast, a brony, and a Whovian based on the TV shows I like. I am both a video gamer and a tabletop gamer. All these groups barely scratch the surface of a very extensive list.

Of course, some of these groups are more prone to criticism and mockery than others. For example, I recently met an individual who discovered I was a brony. His initial response was to question my manhood. I questioned him and unearthed he'd previously roomed with a brony. His impression of this brony was less than favorable. As it was, upon learning of this vague connection between me and his former roommate, my new associate projected all his negative impressions on to me.

Therein lies the danger in assuming all members of a group act in the same manner. No one organization produces their members using a cookie cutter or an assembly line.

To illustrate this, I've decided to pick on Democrats, because I've done enough picking on Republicans in recent history.

Some people who dislike Democrats are quick to condemn the group. One might say, "Democrats are nothin' but a bunch of wing-flappin' moonbats!"

Harsh.

This disdain for Democrats might even bleed into personal social interactions. Imagine a conversation between strangers,

"Why, hello there! How are you?"

"Okay. Work's been pretty rough, but I'm getting through."

"Oh, I feel ya! The boss has been driving me crazy lately."

Both strangers feel good inside. We made common ground!

"So what's your job?"

"I was about to ask the same thing!"

Both strangers answer at the same time.

"I'm a fundraiser for the Democratic party."
"I'm a Republican political campaign manager."

Both strangers immediately engage in a team deathmatch.

The thing is, just because someone belongs to groups different than you own doesn't mean you can't or won't find common ground. Let me explain.

As the elephant represents the Republican party, so does the donkey represent the Democratic party. It's easy to malign Democrats by calling them "Bleeding heart liberal [donkeys]," but did you know that no two donkeys are exactly alike, either?

Let's simplify this and talk about breeds. Did you know the largest donkey in the world is a breed called American Mammoths? The smallest donkey breed is appropriately named Miniature. Bands of feral donkeys roam the Australian plain. Poitou donkeys have hair long enough to turn into dreadlocks. And Pega donkeys just look super cool.

You may be tempted to judge or deride someone based on a group to which they belong. But frankly, no one person is defined by any one group. No one group has the power to de-individualize a person.

The sad thing is, believing in the de-individualization of people within groups created the twin problems of sexism and racism.

So maybe you can judge groups as a whole. But I've made the decision that I won't.

Should You Challenge Your Beliefs? - Thinkjoust Tuesday #46

I'm pretty sure everyone knows I don't like Donald Trump. Here's some proof. Here, too. And here. And ... here. 

As it is, it's no surprise that I absolutely love it when Late Night talk show hosts blast the politician. One particularly infamous example happened on Stephen Colbert's show, in a particular segment that some people say 'Destroyed Donald Trump.' The clip is down below.

I thought the debate was not only hilarious, but also revealing. Come on! I thought. How does anyone like this guy?

Then, a short while later, I found this comic.

http://wondermark.com/c1209/

Thanks to David Malki ! for this comic.

Anyway, if you didn't want to read the whole thing, the point is, Stephen Colbert (or Bingus Gabberdeen, as it were) didn't actually destroy Donald Trump. Yes, he may have successfully burned Donald Trump, but Colbert lacked the ability to actually change anything. The musician-character in the comic says it best, and I quote.

"It was insightful and funny and, as it was delivered to an entirely like-minded audience, it changed the political opinion of no one."

This blew my mind because it made so much sense. DUH Colbert couldn't destroy Donald Trump. He was already preaching to the choir.

And it makes sense. If you're a right-wing, you're probably going to prefer right-wing news programming. If you're a left-wing, the same pattern naturally follows. If you like Donald Trump, odds are you're not going to like Stephen Colbert, and so you won't be a part of his audience.

So I got to thinking, and I realized I have very rarely challenged my beliefs regarding Donald Trump. I often watch videos that condemn or criticize him, but I don't actively seek out material that praises him or discusses his good merits. In that sense, I have merely validated my own opinion instead of building a larger picture and then going off of that.

The thing is, I find it scary to break down my beliefs and analyze them. My personal belief system is a large part of the foundation that makes me who I am. If I discover something that challenges my belief system, and I agree with that challenge, I feel vulnerable. I'm no longer confident in who I am.

An example of this can be found in my post following up on the In God We Trust thinkjoust. In essence, the follow-up discussed my belief that it didn't really matter if In God We Trust is carved onto our government buildings and coins. But then an anonymous user commented on the follow-up. Their tone in the comment was vaguely confrontational, but they raised some good points that changed my perspective on the In God We Trust issue.

So now I ask you, dear audience. Is it a good idea to challenge your beliefs, or should we stick with material that appeals to and/or validates us?

This next Response Saturday will present my up-to-date opinion about challenging your personal beliefs. I will consider any arguments you deliver via the comments section or social media engagements.

I look forward to hearing what you all have to say.

What I Think About Positive Racism - Response Saturday #14

This last Tuesday introduced us to the question, "Can Positive Racism Exist?"

The comments I received were insightful. It's hard to argue against the fact that differences exist between races, no matter how inconsequential or small. However, I do believe problems can occur if we assume those overall racial differences apply to everyone within that racial group.

As an example, I might say that those pursuing an English Major are mostly female, while those pursuing an Engineering Major are mostly male. It's easy to make the blanket statement that 'all English Majors are women,' or 'all Engineering majors are men,' but in most instances, that is not the case.

Now, obviously, if I told you I was an English major, you wouldn't automatically think me a woman. However, such things become more difficult when it comes to race.

We discussed in Tuesday's post about how studies show that, on average, black men can jump higher than white men. Regardless, I think it would be inappropriate to assume or make comment about this apparent racial discrepancy without any prior knowledge about the individual's abilities.

For example, if I was playing pick-up basketball, and I picked the token black guy because 'he jumps higher than the rest of us,' that would be wrong. I would be assuming something about someone. His race may produce better jumpers than everyone else, but that doesn't mean this pick-up basketballer is himself an example of that.

In that sense, we can say that our man should not immediately be placed under a blanket statement because of his race.

We may be able to acknowledge statistics as they are--that is, mere statistics--but we can't ever put individuals under the blanket of a statement. That goes for race, religion, gender, anything that classifies someone as a mere part of a group. When we throw people under the same blanket, we risk tearing away their individuality and what makes them them, as opposed to acknowledging them as a unique person in their own right.

So, sure. Maybe [American Minority] are better than [American white people] at [task], but that doesn't mean you should assume as such. Maybe your [American minority] [coworker/friend/relative] isn't actually good at [task] and wants to be known for being good at something else. Who knows? 

Either way, get to know them as a person before casting judgments based on the group(s) to which they belong. 

This Week's Top Comments

Thinking Differently is NOT Thinking Wrong

Our new Change and Cherish mascots make their official debut in this final scheduled Friday post! I'm calling them 'The Light-bulb People' for now. They're supposed to represent the concept of thought, inspired by the cartoons which often portray light-bulbs over the heads of characters after they have an idea.

As you can see above, today's two light-bulbs emit different-colored lights. This demonstrates that some people think differently than yourself. Yes, you, faithful reader. And, of course, I'm here to say that that doesn't make them wrong.

As I discussed in the 16 Personalities post, everyone has a different personality, and because of this, everyone has a different filter through which they view the world. For example, one person may be opposed to drinking caffeine, but another person may absolutely love to drink it. One of the most all-time popular Change and Cherish Blog posts revolves around tattoos. I mention in the post that Mormons don't generally get tattoos, but I don't think I'd get a tattoo even if I wasn't Mormon. I don't even like people writing on me, so a tattoo on my own flesh would drive me nuts. However, that doesn't mean I think every person who has tattoos are crazy or idiotic. And I shouldn't either way.

The same goes for philosophies, politics, and even religious beliefs. Too often we find people on different sides of a debate, unwilling to consider or seek compromises. I, myself, have been guilty of assuming a strong stance against something or other and refusing to see an issue from the other side. When we think about things like gun control, the best solution for all parties can rarely be found among extremist sides.

Even social interactions can be viewed through different lenses. Just because you like to go around and party and be surrounded by people, doesn't mean your introverted friends can't thrive doing something by themselves. They aren't wrong for liking their alone time.

I only bring this up because I believe many people often think to themselves, mostly unconsciously, "If you think or act differently than me, then you're wrong." Even worse, people sometimes go so far as to assume someone 'different' is automatically an antagonist to their beliefs and lifestyle. As an example, just because I'm a Mormon, doesn't mean I despise all other religions. Just because I'm a man, doesn't mean I despise feminists. Just because I'm a millennial, doesn't mean I like Bernie Sanders.

If I am careful to consider the fact that nobody has to be wrong, then I often find more peace and kindness in my daily life. 

I hope that everyone finds the same.

Final(s) Slam (2 Videos)

That's right, folks! We had another slam! Less of my immediate associates participated this time, but I still did!

The winners of the slam!

Obligatory soloist picture!

The master list!

And here's the text of my poem!

Disclaimer, right now, this slam poem is meta

I’m really sorry, guys, I don’t have anything betta

But I’m here to slam about slamming, and what y’all like

When we slam poets step up and spit into this mic

All I really need to make you scream

For you to clap and cheer and feel like you’re on my team

Is to say something I know you all with agree with

Like man, I hate to work the graveyard shift

There ain’t nothin’ better than a third date kiss

I never want to go to class, I think I’m gone skip

I hate waiting in lines, I hate parking fines

I hate it when my crush wants me to read their mind

I hate getting stuck in traffic behind the shuttle bus

I hate it when I see guys who ain’t chivalrous

Hillary’s a stepford-smilin’ mouth-flappin buffoon,

But where Trump truly belongs is a Fox cartoon

So then I leave the stage, and you think we’re in sync

But the thing is, I never really made you think.

That’s right, audience, I am calling you out,

You only like the taste of water from familiar spouts

I don’t have to be deep, I wasn’t even that funny

All that really matters is you think you think like me

But if I say something to challenge your minds

You sit there quietly, your arms at your sides

You talk about the refugees, with arms open and welcome,

But how would you feel if you had to let them sleep in your home

Maybe your candidate is the best for you

Are they the best for America, when you know what they’ll do?

You say you’re against police brutality

But if you saw it happen, would you leap in the fray?

You say racism doesn’t exist, that it’s come to an end,

But what about those racial jokes you told to your white friends?

You say you oppose the church and its stance on gays

But would you still be kind if a gay were your roommate?

And yes, I’m going there, you say you believe in Christ

But when’s the last time you were unconditionally nice?

Today’s society is all about (hashtag) #SoRelatable

Personally, I think that’s just a bunch of bull.

We are becoming more reliant on our similarities

We ignore the hard things because we like it easy

We don’t want our beliefs challenged, and we don’t to fight

For something we know to be true, or even to make something right

Because if we stand for something, we might stand alone

And standing alone is a fear that fills everyone’s bones.

But if we all stood alone, then we’d be standing together

And our burdens shared would be as light as a feather

So get off the hashtag, forsake the cliché

And make a promise to challenge yourself every day

yes, it’s uncomfortable to question all you believe

But you’ll be surprised by all the rewards you receive

You will find more respect, you will find more clarity

You can defend yourself from scrutiny and barbarity

Best of all, you’ll no longer feel awkward in your own skin

You will become an original, a will-be, not has-been

Thank you.

You Can't Go Through Life Without Hurting People

No, not that kind of hurting people.

In my personal experience, I've found that the modern usage of the word heartbreaker has a negative connotation. Modern heartbreakers are people who try to get with as many different partners as they can. You're are of the appropriate synonyms.

However, the original usage of heartbreaker actually had positive connotations. A heartbreaker was considered to be quite the catch. When the heartbreaker finally chose a significant other, many individuals would be 'heartbroken,' not because the heartbreaker did anything to them, but because there wasn't enough of the heartbreaker to go around.

Yes, I'm aware many girls think all guys are tools. Many guys find girls nothing but promiscuous. But I do believe modern heartbreakers exist in this world. Those people cannot go through life without hurting people, albeit unintentionally.

"Ok, fine," you say. "So heartbreakers can't go through life without hurting people, but I can guarantee I'm not a heartbreaker. Nobody likes me."

You know, random reader, sometimes I feel the same way. But take a peek at this.

I once read a sentiment written by some wise individual that was posted to Facebook following its beginnings on tumblr. I'll paraphrase as best as I can.

"You know all those times when you admire someone from afar, and they never knew? How many times have you been that person for someone else?" 

You may think you know the effect you have on people, but you really don't. Odds are, there is someone out there who finds you an attractive and interesting person, but are just too shy to do anything about it.

Congratulations, you're a heartbreaker.

Even beyond dating, sometimes you just can't help but hurt people's feelings in other ways. I have met people who own the mentality that they "just want to do the right thing." That is so admirable, let me tell you, but always doing the right thing doesn't mean people won't still be hurt.

I honestly believe every single one of our current presidential candidates believes they are doing the right thing. All of them have offended or angered scores of Americans across the nation. You, yourself, have beliefs and principles and morals that may offend the sensibilities of those around you. I am not a smoker, and I have no desire to ever smoke, but I don't judge people who do smoke. It's just a thing people do. However, when I gained the trust of my coworkers while I worked at Sonic, a few grew upset when I refused to participate in their breakly ritual. "Just a puff," they said. "If you don't do it, then you're dissing my lifestyle."

I'm sure many of you have found yourselves in similar situations.

If you have religious, personal, political, or even moral standards, then you'll likely offend someone. Some people are even looking to be offended by people with different sensibilities than them.

"Ok, cool," you say. "You've convinced me. But what's the point?"

I've met some people who hate to hurt people's feelings. I'll admit, I'm one of those people. The thing is, this type of person often hold themselves back. They are so worried that their opinion or action might hurt someone else, they never do anything for themselves. They leap through life's hoops seeking only to please or ease someone else and their own burdens. They date people they don't really want to. They hide their opinions and beliefs in the face of scrutiny. They do things because someone else told them to, not because they wanted to do those things for themselves.

I think I've made my point. So here's my challenge for you today.

If you are worried about hurting people's feelings, don't be. Obviously, this world needs more kindness and tact, but there comes a point where you need to stand for yourself. Be that person. And while some people may turn away from you, the people who will prove the most important in your life will gather around you.

I've seen it.

If the Main Problem in America is Neither Racism or Sexism ... What is?

While I was at the last poetry slam (which you can read about here), one of the slam poets went up made an interesting statement. Forgive my need to paraphrase, but he said something along the lines of, "The main problem in America is neither racism or sexism."

I figured Barney Stinson and Archie Bunker are possible archetypes of sexism and racism, respectively. 

My friends and I waited for this slam poet to give us an answer. He never did. He never told us what he believed to be the actual main problem with America.

So I thought about it. What could be the main problem with America?

Many people I know would argue that sexism is the greatest problem in America. Look at the wage gap between genders. Look at the objectification of women in modern media. Look at the way women are often considered second-class citizens in workplaces. Look at domestic violence.

But then again, why couldn't racism be the greatest problem? Look at police brutality. Look at the wage gap between white people and minorities. Look at the #OscarsAllWhite controversy. Look at many of our presidential candidates and their discussions on racial topics.

But, ok. I'll accept, at least for now, the slam poet's rhetoric. What other options do we have?

We have people attacking Freedom of Religion, so concerned that someone may state or have a theological belief contrary to their own that they want to tear down every chance anyone has to express that belief, including interfering with ceremonies sacred and precious to the members of specific religion. Phrases once considered innocuous are becoming taboo, including the phrase 'Bless You'  after you sneeze.

We also have poverty, where impoverished people grow ever more resentful of the government for not giving them money and the rich for also not giving them money. The rich grow resentful at the government for wanting their money and the poor for also wanting their money.

What about other problems? What about riots and abuse and fighting in the streets? How about immigration, with people wanting to close the borders more and more? What about presidential candidates resorting to childish threats and insults? What about the rancor between political parties? What about when we feel impatience and lash out at our closest friends and loved ones? What happens when everyone does that?

So, no. I agree with our slam poet. Sexism and racism are not the biggest problems in America. They are merely symptoms of a disease called BIGOTRY, which is also a symptom in and of itself, a symptom of HATRED, which fuels and feeds every major problem in America. HATRED, a seething entity seeking only to destroy the lives of everything in its wake, especially America right here, right now.

So that's my say. See you tomorrow.

#ldsconf - Annual 2016, Part 2

Following up from yesterday, here are all my live tweets during the LDS General Conference.

Sunday 

#ldsconf - Annual 2016, Part 1

Well, it's that time again! I'm live tweeting my General Conference thoughts. You can follow me @Zachary_JamesCC, or you can come back here to check out the sessions as I post them! Just as an FYI, I will be missing the live broadcasts of the Priesthood and Sunday Morning Sessions to meet family obligations. Those are what the church is all about, though!

Enjoy!

Saturday Morning

Saturday Afternoon