What Makes a Pickle? - Thursday Thought #15

Let's examine pickles.

What makes a pickle? Is it the word? The name? If pickles were called something else, would its chemical and physical makeup be changed? I think not. Therefore, for the sake of this blog post, let's call pickles blorbnacks.

Now, blorbnacks are green and have bumps on them. In addition, they taste very good. I love sinking my teeth into a heap of blorbnacks.

Therefore, we see that blorbnacks are actually toads.

The thing is, blorbnacks are hard to catch. They hop around all over the place and hide in the tall grass. It takes a lot of skill, determination, and fortitude to catch a blorbnack,

Therefore, we see that blorbnacks are actually Pokemon.

Your average blorbnack is actually fairly easy to recognize. If you've spent a lot of time with blorbnacks, you can probably name them on sight.

Therefore, we see that blorbnacks are actually your coworkers.

Some blorbnacks are all right to be around, but others are just insufferable. You always have to avoid that one blorbnack who smells awful all the time, and has that strange habit of spitting everywhere.

Therefore, we see that blorbnacks are actually camels.

And I am a camel.

THEREFORE. I AM A PICKLE.

And you thought the header image was anything but dead serious.

How to Find Happiness - Thursday Thought #14

You know, I don't think my life is all that grand. I have to live with trials and, most unbearable, my mistakes. At the same time, I consider myself a happy person.

"WHAT?!?" you say. "IMPOSSIBLE!"

No, really. Let me explain.

Millions of voices try every day to bring outsiders to their way of thinking. Religions clash over doctrines and lifestyles. Political parties tear each other down. Even athletes tug on the arms of those living the sedentary lifestyle. Everyone wants everyone to know that the way they live is the best, the ultimate, the pathway most likely to lead to happiness.

Then there's you. (Ok, maybe it's just me). I don't always know the happiest path to take, and as such, engage in frequent trial and error. Sometimes, I find something that makes me genuinely happy. Other times, I really regret my experimentation.

The thing is, I think that's how anyone finds out what makes them happy. People join groups and engage in certain lifestyles because that is the best of what they've discovered up to that point. People keep what matters to them in their life, and discard the things they decide don't matter.

There comes a point in everyone's life where something they originally thought sweet turns sour. An example of this includes moments when individuals remove TV or their smart phones from their lives in favor of simpler, less obtrusive activities and tools. In the same way, happy people do the same, taking time to evaluate what aspects of their lives make them happy, and what aspects of their lives keep them from being as such.

So, in summary, a happy person is someone who constantly determines what is best for them and then brings more of that into their lives, while removing the things that prove a hindrance to their happiness, even if it's a train of thought, a mindset, or a personality trait.

I'm still trying to figure out what makes me happy, but I do know that I've seen the happiness in my life grow as I hold on to the things that truly make me happy, and then shun the rest.

Why I'm Glad I'm Horrible - Thursday Thought #13

For a commentary on this header image, follow the asterisk.*

There is no one person more aware of my inadequacies than myself.

I could go into all the reasons why I'm the worst, why I hate many of the actions and choices I find myself making, but that's not the point of this post. Instead, I want to talk about why I'm glad I'm the worst.

I've imagined a world where I didn't make mistakes. I say everything right the first time. I know exactly what to do in every situation. I stick to my principles, living my beliefs exactly the way I think they should be lived. Nobody finds flaws in my lifestyle.

The thing is, such a world would never encourage me to improve myself.

In the world we live in now, I make the same mistakes over and over again and then recognize I have things I need to work on. Because of this, I'm more forgiving of my fellows and their mistakes. My own pride is kept to a minimum. And if I wasn't prone to error, then I would never find reason to turn to God and keep Him in my life.

If I somehow remained at a peak internal strength my entire life, that alternate self might die a better person than I will at the rate I'm currently going. However, I will have learned how to deal with trial and heartache--even if those are mostly self-imposed--and will be able to claim I did my very best.

When I make a mistake, I remind myself of a better me.

*I have a hard time making these header images sometimes. For example, looked for visual references illustrating a 'mistake,' and the most common image seemed to revolve around blindfolded people accidentally walking off cliffs.I tried to capture this image, but found it impossible to draw a blindfold on a light bulb without it looking childish or stupid. So now I worry it looks like the light bulb is committing suicide, which was not my intention at all. By the time I worried the image would be misconstrued, I'd already spent far too much time on it. I hope the lackluster 'shrug' the light bulb offers helps add some clarification, but either way, it didn't mean to fall off the cliff! I swear!

America is Tolerant? Accepting? Open-Minded? My Fanny. - Thursday Thought #12

Sometimes, I truly believe America is trying to be more accepting. I really do. I see social justice making great strides toward equality for all demographics. I see people growing more willing to discuss these issues on a large scale. I realize and accept that a lot of people oppose this sort of open love for others, but the fact that there's a discussion at all demonstrates that American has made a lot of progress.

But then junk like this happens.

Article Link

Yes, seriously, Asian kid in the advertisement on the right of the screenshot. Seriously.

Y'all should know by now I don't have much love for the Republican party (or any political parties, for that matter). I am definitely not a supporter of Donald Trump, and I'm aware of the allusions his own supporters make comparing the presidential candidate with Hitler.

At the same time, can we cut this woman some slack?

When I watch the video, I just can't help but feel like the gesture was completely innocuous. I've offered lazy waves before, merely raising my hand at a roommate as they're walking out the door. I'm sure, out of context, my lazy waving could look like a Nazi salute. At the same time, I'm not being filmed. No one has the opportunity to screenshot me and present me in the compromising situations.

So many people are so quick to jump on any opportunity to embarrass or ridicule individuals for simple mistakes, especially when they're being brave and putting themselves out there. I'm sure you've seen countless examples out there. I've seen examples from the comments section on this very blog.

A similar thing happened to Jeb Bush. If the man had ended his speech with a phrase like, "Thank you," nobody would have batted an eye. His awkward choice of words led to a wave of mockery.

And who remembers the infamous 'Dean Scream'? Taken in context, the scream fits in with the speech. It isn't at all awkward. But then people jumped at the chance to ridicule and mock him for it, taking it out of context and presenting him like he was a buffoon.

In my limited experience, I have learned that many people believe in the adage, "A good defense is a good offense." Rather than focus on their own mistakes and shortcomings, they attack others as a way to deflect attention from themselves. If everyone's laughing at the kid who got tripped and spilled milk all over himself, nobody's noticing the bully with severe daddy issues.

So my message today is simple. Let's stop immortalizing people's mistakes, especially when they're entirely innocent. If there's doubt, never ascribe malice to an action when it could easily be ascribed to stupidity.

American may have gain respect for groups, but we still have a long way to go in our respect for individuals.

Why We Need a Third Party Candidate - Thursday Thought #11

I hope my poorly-drawn political cartoon raises the point that a table cannot stand on two legs. If a two-legged table tried to lift any sort of political balance, well, it would fail.

This is why I firmly believe that America needs greater representation from a third party. Even if the major political parties can't agree on many things, they can agree that a third party threatens them both. Members of these parties often claim that if you vote for a third party, you're throwing away your vote.

Of course, that myth only serves to hold people's heads down. If voters feel like voting for a third party is useless, then they won't even try, instead casting their vote for a presidential candidate they might not even like because it's a 'safer bet.'

But that reasoning is flawed. Let me tell you about the Monty Hall problem.

You can read more about it here, but, in essence, the Monty Hall problem places you in front of three doors. A host explains that a prize lies behind each door. Two of the doors contain goats, while the last has a brand new car. The host invites you to pick a door, which you do. He then opens one of the two other doors, revealing a goat inside. You are then invited to either stick your with original pick, or open the third, unopened door. Whichever of the last two doors you open, you get to keep.

Let's get to the point. Let's say your host opens the door to reveal the first goat. Now, goats are pretty nice, and you may even prefer to take a goat home. But if you really like goats all that much, you could sell the brand new car and buy even more goats. The point is, the car is Monty Hall's best deal.

Would you really be satisfied with just taking the first goat (or even the second goat) knowing you could have won a car?

So it goes with politics. Many people genuinely believe in and admire their political parties, and I respect that. At the same time, many individuals vote for politicians just because they're there, because they're flapping their mouths on the news and have their names in headlines. And anyone can have their name in a headlines.

So what can you do?

As for me, I went onto isidewith.com and took their quiz.

I found out where I stood in politics.

I discovered which presidential candidate I most matched with.

The fact that I found a third party candidate so appealing was convenient, but unsurprising given my disdain for the top party's current nominees.

But see, it didn't really matter. When isidewith.com pointed me to Better For America, I devoured their content with eagerness.

Better For America is a movement dedicated to ensuring that a third party candidate gets coverage in this upcoming election. Better For America is trying to build a table that can stand on its own, not wobble on two legs.

I signed the heck up.

I invite you to do the same.

My Life as a Camel - Thursday Thought #10

I recently woke up and realized something very important.

Camels have teeth.

I have teeth.

Therefore, I am a camel.

Life as a camel is great!

I don't get thirsty in this hot weather. I stomp anywhere I want. I don't need haircuts. I don''t worry about getting parking tickets. I never lose my wallet, because I can't really pick it up anymore.Being a camel rocks!

Of course, some people get upset with me. "You're not a camel!" they say. "You're a human!"

"No, seriously," I said. "I'm definitely a camel. I even have The Black Eyed Peas' single My Humps on constant repeat. And I don't even find the music intellectually stimulating!"

I have other problems when I'm asked to verify my identity.

"Sir, let me check your photo ID," a cashier might say.

"Sure thing," I'll say. "But I'm a camel now, so I probably don't look like my photograph."

The cashier peers at my plastic card. "I think you look a lot like you."

"Why, thank you," I say. "But let's be honest, my face is way longer now."

For whatever reason, the cashier's expression assumes traits associated with both confusion and abject terror. "Um, sure," she says. "Can you take your wallet now? You've left it here for two weeks."

"Ooo, no can do," I say. "I can't really pick it up. Camel feet and all."

The sad thing is, I'm often discriminated against. I can't tell you how many times restaurants have denied my patronage, persecuting me for my species.

"Is that it?" I say, wiping a tear from my eye. "You won't let me eat here because I'm a camel?"

"Listen," the manager says. "I don't care what you think you are, no shirt, no shoes, no service!"

"DISCRIMINATION!" I bellow. "I deserve the right to eat a burger however I want!"

Of course, my love for burgers has alienated me from my fellow ungulates, the bovines.

"Look," I say to my cow friends. "I eat burgers because I like the taste, not because I have anything against you as a species or even you personally."

"Moooo," a cow says.

"Oh, shut it, Daisy!" I yell. "Nobody asked a milk trollop like you!"

At this point, a farmer runs up to me. "Hey, get out of my field, kid!"

"I didn't see a sign saying anything about no shirt, no shoes, no service!" I say. "I have every right to talk to these cows as my equals and brother-in-arms!"

"Moooo," a cow says.

"It's a gender-neutral phrase, Daisy! It wastes everyone's time if I have to say 'brothers-and-sisters-in-arms.' And it doesn't roll off the tongue besides!"

Even though my perfectly normal daily life has become a bit of a struggle, not everything is terrible. You would think my gaming skills haven't improved, but I've become an amazing trash-talker.

"Who keeps spitting into the mic?" my unsuspecting opponents ask.

My relationship with my girlfriend, on the other hand, has reached an all-time low.

"Why do you keep spitting on my TV?" she asks.

"Chloe just dumped Brad on national television!" I say. "Curse you, US daytime soap opera! CURSE YOU!"

If I have to live in a world where Chloe and Brad aren't together, maybe being a camel isn't actually all that great.

I guess I'll have to rip out my teeth.

How to Deliver Effective Speeches - Thursday Thought #9

There are times when I use this blog to get up on my soap box and vent. Today is one of those days.

You ever hear someone tell a story that feels like it's getting way off track? It might go something like this.

"So I was trying to figure out how to get rid of the virus on my computer. I Googled what I knew, but the first few results were old posts left on the forums of the OS customer support that nobody had ever answered. After I few more hours of research, I discovered a possible solution, only to realize it was for an older version of the OS that is now considered obsolete. Deciding to give it a try anyway, I ran the fix, but it turned out the website I was taking advice from was crooked, and I ended up getting another virus. So now I was trying to figure out how to get rid of that virus on my computer."

Ha ha, you think. That story was incredibly boring, but I see what you did there.

But the speaker doesn't smile. They don't even seem aware of what they just did. They don't even notice your look of horror. They just continue.

"I Googled what I knew."

No!

"But the first few results were old posts left on the forums of the OS customer support."

You clench your fists, fall on your knees, and shout to the skies. "Noooooooo!"

Your boring, technology-illiterate friend has entered a rambling loop. They will continue to tell the same story over and over again, perhaps even blending the same two or three experiences together, without even realizing it. They'll finish the story about how they got the third virus, think that the story about the first virus was pretty good, and then start telling that one because who wants to miss out on a thriller like that?

I actually hear these circular stories at events designed to be inspirational. I remember countless pep talks in my youth groups and sports teams that really lost their steam long before the fifth time my leader told us to reach within ourselves and find greatness.

"All right, guys, listen! You all keep mucking around, doing whatever you wanna do, but we're trying to accomplish something great here. We don't need you to go running off every time it pleases you. We need you to be men. We need you to reach deep down inside and find whatever motivates you and do it. Being the best of the best takes time and effort, but if you're not putting in the effort, then you're just wasting everyone's time. So make your decision, because if you're with us, then you're with us, but if you're going to drag us down, you might as well pack up and go home."

A tear would come to my eye. Yes, I'd think. That was perfect. Don't ruin it by ...

"I mean, you muck around here, you'll probably muck around back home, so what's the difference? The difference is we're trying to accomplish something great here. We don't need you to run off every time you want. Be men, for crying out loud ..."

I would clench my fists, fall on my knees, and shout to the skies. "Noooooooooo!"

"James!" my leader would yell. "What in Sam's hill are you doing? Take fifty laps!"

"Oh, thank goodness," I'd say, prompting a lot of weird looks from my peers and leaders alike.

Now that I've released my pent-up rage, let me explain how you can stop rambling.

You Do Not Have a Soundtrack

A lot of people watch movies and see someone tell long stories or give long motivational speeches and think, I can do that. The problem is, most of those stories and speeches are actually scripted, and given greater meaning and importance thanks to the swelling music accompanying the scene. It is incredibly difficult to give your speech the necessary zing by working off the cuff.

So practice, but start small. When you have the floor, say what you want and what you mean in short, simple terms. Imagine how much more effective the above pep talk would have been had my leader walked in, looked at us all for a few silent seconds, and then said the last two lines.

"Being the best of the best takes time and effort, but if you're not putting in the effort, then you're just wasting everyone's time. So make your decision, because if you're with us, then you're with us, but if you're going to drag us down, you might as well pack up and go home."

Boom. The leader walks away. We're all left to ponder on those words. 

You Are the One Responsible for Audience Engagement

And moving on from that point, watch your audience. If they seem restless or fidgety, or have stopped paying attention to you, don't blame them. If you have the floor, you are the one responsible for keeping them interested in what you're saying. If people stop listening, then you stop talking, because if you lost them, the only way you're going to get them back is by surprising them.

Pay Attention to Time

In the end, the most important thing is noticing how long you've been talking. If it feels like you've been chatting for too long, you probably have. In fact, by the time you realize you're rambling, you've probably already been rambling for quite some time. The shorter the speech, the more powerful the message. Don't believe me?

Some of the most powerful speeches in American history are incredibly short. Look at Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. One of the dumbest speeches in American history was William Henry Harrison's inaugural address. He spoke for nearly two hours and ended up dying because of it. It doesn't matter if Harrison unlocked the secret to world peace in that address, the only thing people are going to remember him for is that his overly-long speech killed him.

 

With that, I've been rambling too long, so in order to combat any further hypocrisy (and to preserve my own life), I will end the post here.

Enjoy your improved inspirational skills!

Slavery and Sex Trafficking - Thursday Thought #8

I often hear people say, "Slavery ended when Abraham Lincoln passed the Emancipation Proclamation." The thing is, slavery didn't die. It went into hiding.

Even today, slavers and the slave trade exist. Hundreds of individuals are ripped from home and family (or even sold from home and family) and turned into the playthings of unscrupulous men and women. The victims of these tragedies are often children.

I have recently grown more aware of this issue thanks to the research others have taken upon themselves and then sent to me. As I've worked to educate myself regarding this issue, I have decided that not speaking up about it would be cause for condemnation.

And so, I share this message with you.

I first began my studies by listening to this podcast.

Interview with Tim Ballard of OURrescue.org

I know it's twenty minutes long, but at least listen to the first three minutes of it. If you're utterly bored at that point, I give you permission to stop.

Then I visited ourrescue.org.

Operation Underground Railroad

I especially researched the 'Join the Fight' section.

Operation Underground Railroad: Join the Fight

And as I worked on this very post, I discovered this campaign.

Thunderclap: Turn Social Blue for Freedom

My challenge today is simple: join the fight.

As for me, I jumped on that Thunderclap and donated ten dollars right from the O.U.R. website. I invite everyone to find whatever way works best for you to help and then do it.

As the hymn goes, I personally want to do more than dream of my mansions above.

How to Connect to Strangers - Thursday Thought #7

While I was working one of my evening shifts, one of the university police officers dropped by the desk to take care of some things. Before I knew it, we'd fallen into a deep and revealing conversation about each other.

We got to know about each other's families. We compared notes regarding the various books we're writing. We chatted about our personal dreams and goals in life. We offered advice according to our confidence in various topics. We spoke about the gospel and its effect on our lives. We got to know each other as people, as individuals, as we exposed ourselves through our thoughts and comments.

It was awesome.

When I first started talking with the officer, we were basically strangers. Oh, we'd seen each other around campus a couple of times, and I'd even had a few conversations with him, but this was the first time I really learned who he was.

This experience got me thinking. The only time in my life when I regularly interacted with strangers on a regular basis was on my two year mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Even then, I wasn't necessarily trying to learn everything about these strangers. I had an overt motive to share my message with them, and while that was a good thing, my first few minutes of conversation would be spent looking for specific common ground, as opposed to merely enjoying what came my way from them.

Upon this realization, I decided I needed to start reaching out to people more. I may not be able to have an in-depth conversation with a stranger every day, but when I do meet a stranger, I can at least try to learn something about them, and not just where they're from or what their major is, either. 

Whether it's their dream residence, or why they chose their major, or even what their favorite color is, I need to remember that strangers have a lot to share. So why not ask them?

And just so you know, Officer Wayne Beck truly is just an awesome guy. Don't believe me? Check out what he's doing at his website, which is entirely appropriately named, "Every Encounter Builds Perspective." Thanks, Wayne!

Milky Way Commercials: The Ultimate Mystery - Thursday Thought #6

I don't know if anyone else has thought much about the new* Milky Way commercials, but by the ever-lovin' hair on a llama's rump, I certainly have! There is something bizarre going on in these things!

If you don't know what I'm talking about, check out this:

Let me break down why I'm obsessed with this ad campaign.

Many commercials utilize the concept of 'audience surrogacy' in their campaigns. The idea is that the audience will want to be the character presented in the commercial, and therefore will buy the product the character uses. Examples of this include these two commcercials, which are both part of larger campaigns seeking to resonate with their audience.**

When someone watches these commercials, the advertisers hope to inspire their consumers. "Wow!" we're supposed to think. "That man is so dang desirable/interesting because he uses this shampoo/drinks this alcohol! I want to be like him, so I should do what he's doing!"

So let's go back to the Milky Way commercials.

In them, we meet a colorful cast of characters who are remarkably apathetic. From lumberjacks to tattoo artists, these people frequently fail to accomplish even the most basic of tasks because they were 'eating a Milky Way.' Even poor 'regerts' guy, who may now have gathered a few regerts despite his permanently emboldened claims to the contrary, doesn't seem to care that much about his lamentable fate. I would have gone ballistic.

In the end, however, there is nothing about these incompetent, unaware, self-centered Milky Way fanatics that make me want to be like them. At first glance, it would appear as though the Mars confectionery company has failed to produce an ad campaign that promotes the consumption of their product.

But then again, why have I been buying so many Milky Way bars this past week? 

*My further research suggests that these commercials are actually over a year old. However, I hadn't seen a single one until this past week. Now I've seen hundreds of them, for some reason. New push, old material?

**I am merely using these commercials to make and prove points. I neither endorse nor condone the featured products.

Your Personal Beliefs Are Flawed - Thursday Thought #5

Yes, I'm a Mormon, and yes, I attend a University owned by the Mormons.

We Latter-Day Saints believe in keeping the Sabbath Day holy. This includes refraining from participating in our usual labors. In order to encourage others to avoid their own usual labors, we are encourage to avoid buying things on Sunday. After all, if we go to a restaurant or a store, then we're making someone else go to work when we believe nobody should have to on the Sabbath.

Further interpretation is left up to the individual, and differences sometimes lead to philosophical debates between members. For example, I recently bought something from an on-campus vending machine on Sunday, a frequent habit of mine, and one of my friends claimed I was breaking the Sabbath.

I owe my mentality to my circumstances. I've lived in the freshmen dorms, where eating a Sunday meal at the on-campus cafeteria is both encouraged and expected. The Missionary Training Center feeds their missionaries at a cafeteria, too, and people staff both places each and every day.

As for my friend, I can't say his circumstances. I don't know what paths he's taken to get a different understanding than me.

But that doesn't mean either of us are wrong.

Sometimes, our personal beliefs just don't suit others, no matter how much overlap already exists. The important thing is to respect each other's beliefs. As we learn more about each other, we may even find beliefs we want to call our own.

So, yes. Your personal beliefs are flawed, but that just means they're not perfect. But then again, it's not a competition. Why not work with others to find those flaws?

The Rhinoceros Technique in Dating - Thursday Thought #4

During Valentine's Week 2016, I talked about how people can clear up all misunderstandings between genders with proper communication. That particular post was designed to help people maintain and develop pre-established relationships.

But let's talk about communication in regards to romantic interests.

Let's say you're a (guy/girl) crushing on a (girl/guy). You think they're attractive, or fun to be around, or just very, very interesting. However, you're not sure they would feel the same way. What do you do?

In my case, I would use what I call the Rhinoceros Technique.

It's simple, really. Imagine a rhinoceros charging forward. Anything with a brain will get out of the way, and anything without a brain better hope it's made of material strong enough to withstand five thousand pounds of wild animal. If the rhinoceros wants to get anywhere, by golly, you better believe it can.

So the same with relationships. If you're interested in someone, be a rhinoceros, charge in, and tell them how you feel. One of three things will happen.

(1) They might not be sure, but be willing to feel things out.

(2) They might not feel the same way.

(3) They might, you guessed it, actually feel the same way.

Sure, some disappointment might come if the first, and definitely the second, turns out to be the case. But what do you really lose if you just say how you feel? And if they feel the same way, think of what you have to gain.

So, the next time you're spending way too much time wondering about your crush, consider this. And let me know in the comments if it works out!

A Note on the Dating Habits of Feminists - Thursday Thought #3

This post is very much a sister post to the last Thursday Thought.

I consider myself a supporter of pure feminism, which I define as a movement seeking equality for women.* It appalls me when women are objectified by the media, by society, and by people I know. Women deserve to have every right a man does. Many people are depressingly ignorant of the physical, social, and mental issues associated with the abuse of women. I have met and heard of men who are irredeemable because of the way they treat the opposite sex. For example, I am incredibly angered by the actions of Mike Faverman, which recently went viral (note: Faverman's texts contain some graphic descriptions).

Now, I'm not going to say I'm a feminist, nor am I going to say I'm perfect at standing up for every feminist issue. I profess to and apologize for my ignorance regarding many of these issues. At the same time, I've noticed a few unpleasant trends in my dating life that are connected to self-proclaimed feminists, and I wanted to address them.

For starters, if you are a feminist, please don't disrespect my attempts to be chivalrous. Yes, chivalry is not dead. Yes, some men are jerks, but I don't hold your door open so I can look at your butt. I don't try to buy my way to kisses with dinner. I hold your door open because I'm showing you respect. I buy you dinner because I enjoy your company and doubt my own company would be worth it otherwise.

And you know what? I'm not going to stop doing those things. But if you are a feminist, don't take advantage of me. If you truly believe in equality between men and women, don't just keep accepting dates because you like getting free meals. I may enjoy your company, but don't waste your time if you don't enjoy mine. And if you do enjoy my company, then at least offer to buy a meal sometime, or even hold the door open. I probably won't let you, but at least I'll know you're not just enjoying the feeling of being served by a member of the opposition, aka men.

And if you're a feminist, don't play hard to get. Don't play coy and play games with people's minds. Don't put yourself on a pedestal. Don't make yourself a prize to be won. All you're really doing is objectifying yourself. You turn yourself into an object to lust after. You make yourself unreachable, and therefore less personable. Your refusal to communicate your true feelings masks your true character and persona, making it impossible for your value as a three-dimensional person to come to light. You are more than a shiny trophy. Don't be one.

And finally, it can be annoying to see men act like pigs. It can be annoying to watch them ogle and pine over statuesque celebrities. But if you are a feminist, don't ogle and pine over shirtless boy bands and actors. Otherwise, you engage in the same objectifying act. Don't create another double standard. The search for equality across gender, race, and creed should never compromise on any double standards.

This post may not be popular. I apologize for any offense, for none is intended. And I am definitely not saying all women, or even all feminists, act in the ways I described. That would be generalizing.

And I hate all generalizations.**

*I do not support extreme feminism, which I define as the aggrandization of women over men.

**I see the irony here.

Why I Believe No Woman Is Worth Fighting For - Thursday Thought #2

When it comes to dating and relationships, I am a firm believer in equality.

I don't want to be in control, nor do I want to be without say. I want to be in a partnership, equally yolked. I want to make big decisions only after conferring with my significant other. I want us both to feel confident in our decisions and push forward with a full understanding that we will support each other no matter what.

It's likely impossible to form this sort of bond prior to entering a relationship. As it is, society dictates that someone has to initiate romantic contact before any partnership can be formed. In our society, it is the man who acts as the initiator, usually by asking a lady on a date.

When a guy asks a girl on a date, he is generally putting himself into a vulnerable position. If the guy is truly interested in the girl, then he has, in a way, already committed to at least seeing where things might go.

I'm OK with that. The thing is, as time goes on, and I ask a girl on more and more dates, there comes a point when she gains control.

She may express interest, but seems hesitant about fully committing. She may be slow to finalize plans. She may be dating several other guys. She may seem eager to socialize in person, but distant when away.

I'm OK with that. But the longer that goes on, the less I want to keep up the pursuit.

If I were to actually enter into a relationship with that sort of person, then I'm signalling that while it was an easy choice for me, it was a difficult, even trying, choice for her. Already the partnership I'm gunning for is undermined, because it puts her on a pedestal where she has the final say in where our relationship goes and what it decides.

When I'm looking for a relationship, I'm looking for someone who's just as willing to take a chance on me as I am on them.

Why You Can't Judge Groups as a Whole

I belong to a lot of different groups. I am a Mormon by religion. I belong to various groups of bloggers and writers. I am a walker, a Steventhusiast, a brony, and a Whovian based on the TV shows I like. I am both a video gamer and a tabletop gamer. All these groups barely scratch the surface of a very extensive list.

Of course, some of these groups are more prone to criticism and mockery than others. For example, I recently met an individual who discovered I was a brony. His initial response was to question my manhood. I questioned him and unearthed he'd previously roomed with a brony. His impression of this brony was less than favorable. As it was, upon learning of this vague connection between me and his former roommate, my new associate projected all his negative impressions on to me.

Therein lies the danger in assuming all members of a group act in the same manner. No one organization produces their members using a cookie cutter or an assembly line.

To illustrate this, I've decided to pick on Democrats, because I've done enough picking on Republicans in recent history.

Some people who dislike Democrats are quick to condemn the group. One might say, "Democrats are nothin' but a bunch of wing-flappin' moonbats!"

Harsh.

This disdain for Democrats might even bleed into personal social interactions. Imagine a conversation between strangers,

"Why, hello there! How are you?"

"Okay. Work's been pretty rough, but I'm getting through."

"Oh, I feel ya! The boss has been driving me crazy lately."

Both strangers feel good inside. We made common ground!

"So what's your job?"

"I was about to ask the same thing!"

Both strangers answer at the same time.

"I'm a fundraiser for the Democratic party."
"I'm a Republican political campaign manager."

Both strangers immediately engage in a team deathmatch.

The thing is, just because someone belongs to groups different than you own doesn't mean you can't or won't find common ground. Let me explain.

As the elephant represents the Republican party, so does the donkey represent the Democratic party. It's easy to malign Democrats by calling them "Bleeding heart liberal [donkeys]," but did you know that no two donkeys are exactly alike, either?

Let's simplify this and talk about breeds. Did you know the largest donkey in the world is a breed called American Mammoths? The smallest donkey breed is appropriately named Miniature. Bands of feral donkeys roam the Australian plain. Poitou donkeys have hair long enough to turn into dreadlocks. And Pega donkeys just look super cool.

You may be tempted to judge or deride someone based on a group to which they belong. But frankly, no one person is defined by any one group. No one group has the power to de-individualize a person.

The sad thing is, believing in the de-individualization of people within groups created the twin problems of sexism and racism.

So maybe you can judge groups as a whole. But I've made the decision that I won't.