What's YOUR Love Language? - Thinkjoust Tuesday #58

I made an active decision last year to not write this sort of thinkjoust. After all, everyone talks about this stuff, right?

Then I remembered that the world doesn't revolve around me or my group of friends. "Huh," I thought. "Maybe other people will appreciate this sort of post!" So here it is.

Love languages are the ways individuals with different personalities express their appreciation for the people around them. Not everyone offers or responds to acts of love in the same way, and sometimes, this can cause friction and tension between two individuals who otherwise love each other very much.

Just as an example, I had a friend who loved to do things for me. He'd make my bed, make me breakfast, and even do my dishes. Rather than be thankful for his acts of service, I felt somewhat irritated. After all, he was giving his time and effort on things I could do for myself, and I felt extremely lazy and unproductive around him. I told him I was feeling guilty, and he just laughed me off.

At the same time, he felt unappreciated by me because I wasn't expressing love in the ways he did. I wasn't about to do his dishes, but I loved to hug him and offer him compliments.

The thing was, neither of us really felt appreciated by the other person because we were expressing love in ways that the other person didn't respond to well. The thing was, we were both expressing love, and that is the most important part.

Once we learn how other people express love, we can learn to respond to them in kind. For example, once my friend and I realized we were just having a love language disconnect, we worked at serving/complimenting each other, respectively (he still wasn't super into hugs, but I give them out like candy, so it balanced out).

Anyway, the point is, if you don't know your love languages, why not find them out?

I recommend this link here, which takes you to a test that analyzes your love language profile. Give it a shot, and then post your results in the comments! I'll be sure to be back this Saturday to talk about your results and what it means for the future of Change and Cherish.

See you then!

Suicide Threat: How Will You Respond? - Response Saturday #25

Last Tuesday, I posed a hypothetical situation.

Let's say you're walking down the street and you see someone about to jump off a bridge, obviously about to kill themselves. How are you supposed to respond?

When I was a Resident Assistant over a hall of freshmen during my Sophomore year of college, I was trained in methods of suicide prevention, though I admit my knowledge is considerably rusty now. My recent research has helped remind me some of the important steps.

#1 - Get help.

Call the authorities immediately. They know what to do. Once you know help/back-up is on the way, approach the individual.

#2 - Keep them talking.

Individuals who are considering suicide generally feel isolated and alone. Showing a genuine interest in them will help them open up, and most individuals contemplating suicide will confess if asked a direct question.

If you're not sure your man on a ledge is suicidal or playing Pokemon Go (or even innocently both), engage in a conversation with them. You might say, "Nice day we're having!" or "How are you doing?" Odds are, they won't respond with cheerfulness, and may even say exactly what's bothering them. If you feel their mood is, indeed, depressed, ask them the question and see how they respond.

#3 - Try to understand them.

If the suffering individual hasn't explained why they're suicidal, ask them to. It could be a broken relationship, or job, or a combination of things. For whatever reason, the individual is hurting, and they won't want you to try and fix the problem. If you just ask questions and listen to what they say, you may be able to gain some valuable insights into who they are.

#4 - Help them see they need help.

This is the tricky part. They may say they don't want help even when they're just testing to see how much you actually want to help and if you'll give up on them. They may genuinely resent you for meddling in their life, and rebuff any of your pleas to find someone more educated and qualified than you in this sort of situation. If they respond negatively to your suggestion, back off and continue to keep them talking. The longer you do, the easier it will be for the authorities to respond in time.

#5 - Your mileage may vary.

I don't wish anyone, myself included, to have to work as a mediator between someone and their own death. However, I still think having some sort of plan in place to deal with these situations will help in the long run.

Of course, when it comes to extreme emotions--you know, the type that prompts people to commit suicide--there are no textbooks. Everyone is going to react and respond to situations differently, and that includes people trying to talk them down from a deadly bridge-jumping experience. In the end, you may have to go with your gut. And speaking of mileage ...

#6 - Pray

If you're a religious person (and most of you who read this blog are), invoke the power of heaven to help you. You may not know what to do and what to say, but if you remember the Lord, he will remember you.

I know every member of my own family has had experiences dealing with persons pondering suicide, while I, myself, am the least experienced of the bunch. Regardless, because of this, I know how important it is to prepare for anything. I wouldn't say I've ever saved someone's life, but I have managed to get individuals to the help they needed because of the preparations I've received--even if I've had to remind myself of that training over this past week.

I'm not an expert, but even if I'm way off base, I have a plan because I want to be able to help.

Thanks for reading.

Slavery and Sex Trafficking - Thursday Thought #8

I often hear people say, "Slavery ended when Abraham Lincoln passed the Emancipation Proclamation." The thing is, slavery didn't die. It went into hiding.

Even today, slavers and the slave trade exist. Hundreds of individuals are ripped from home and family (or even sold from home and family) and turned into the playthings of unscrupulous men and women. The victims of these tragedies are often children.

I have recently grown more aware of this issue thanks to the research others have taken upon themselves and then sent to me. As I've worked to educate myself regarding this issue, I have decided that not speaking up about it would be cause for condemnation.

And so, I share this message with you.

I first began my studies by listening to this podcast.

Interview with Tim Ballard of OURrescue.org

I know it's twenty minutes long, but at least listen to the first three minutes of it. If you're utterly bored at that point, I give you permission to stop.

Then I visited ourrescue.org.

Operation Underground Railroad

I especially researched the 'Join the Fight' section.

Operation Underground Railroad: Join the Fight

And as I worked on this very post, I discovered this campaign.

Thunderclap: Turn Social Blue for Freedom

My challenge today is simple: join the fight.

As for me, I jumped on that Thunderclap and donated ten dollars right from the O.U.R. website. I invite everyone to find whatever way works best for you to help and then do it.

As the hymn goes, I personally want to do more than dream of my mansions above.

Finding Purpose at a Food Bank

1 Corinthians 13:13 - "And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity."

I often feel like my life doesn't have enough purpose. I work so hard on things for me, I often forget to reach out to others.

A few weeks ago, my FHE family reminded me why I feel a need to reach out at all.

We couldn't all be there, but a small minority of our family members drove on over to the local food bank to volunteer for a few hours. It's a great place to volunteer at, by the way, so if you're living in the Provo area, I recommend giving them a visit sometimes. Check them out at Community Action Services.

I wasn't really sure what to expect upon our arrival, but I was very impressed by just how much food people had been donating. Being a struggling student makes it hard for me to find anything to donate, but I realized that every little bit must count. If every college student in Provo donated a can every week, I bet the food bank would have even more food.

As it was, families and individuals had been donating enough cans to give us volunteers something to do for several hours. I bet we could have worked for several more hours had the woman in charge not needed to lock up for the night.

In we came, and at the boxes we got, sorting the cans into different categories like vegetables, fruits, meats, beans, and others. Our group was certainly the fastest, emptying our first unsorted box in record time before moving on to the rest. 

We did this for a couple of hours, churning out organization like an archivist close to retirement. Even then, we felt like our efforts were insufficient. After all, looking around told us there was so much more work left to do. In the end, we recognized we'd saved much time and effort for anyone else coming in behind us.

I felt good as we walked out. I know my pitiful efforts at the food bank barely put a dent into world poverty, or even local poverty as it stands. However, as I spent my free time ignoring homework and personal aspirations, I felt like I'd found a purpose, at least for a moment.

Intervention: The Stupid Duckling

2 Kings 6:17 - "And Elisha prayed, and said, LORD, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the LORD opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha."

A few days ago, my coworker and I were fulfilling one of our many responsibilities when we noticed a peculiar sight.

In case you can't tell, there's a whole hoard of ducklings in the gutter, there.

The ducklings were unable to jump up the curb, and so were following their maternal figure from below. Mamma duck was doing her best to stay near her children, but the presence of us pedestrians had prompted her to warily back off. She kept hovering, thought, perhaps hoping she would be able to at least save a few instead of lose all.

The question was posed as to how the one duckling had found a way up onto the curb when the rest had not. After some thought, I had an answer.

"The duckling on top is smart. The rest are stupid."

I received an earful for that, let me tell you.

Anyway, we quickly figured out the ducklings were easily corralled against the side of the curb. With a couple of scoops, we deposited the ducklings at the same elevation as their mother, allowing the little family to make a beeline for the bushes just in case we changed our minds and ended up eating them, anyway.

DAW SO ADORBS

For me, it was another example of how God works in my life. Sometimes, I am just too stupid to figure a way over my obstacles. Then, when things seem most dire, and some monstrous beast of a problem looms high over my head, a solution somehow immediately presents itself. Sometimes even the problem itself offers the best solution. In the end, I am always assured that I am never alone, and that safety is only a hop, skip, and a jump away.

THE HEROES

How has God helped you over the curbs in your life? Be sure to comment below!

Just Move

Matthew 25:40 - "... Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

Bro and youngest sis invited me to go out with them and 'the boyfriend' to Burgerville yesterday. I blatantly refused. I had a variety of reasons, but even as I watched them drive away, I regretted saying no. Sure, my evening wasn't ruined, mom and dad and I taking the opportunity to hike up to the Pool of the Winds after everyone else left. However, the second I told my siblings "no," I felt an urge to rescind my answer, despite that I didn't actually have any real desires to go. I felt the spirit prompting me to chase after them even twenty minutes after they left. I'll never know why. I allowed my own stubbornness to keep me from doing the best thing, and even now, though both of my siblings are safe and at home, I don't know what I might have prevented.

We woke bright and early this morning to help out a family in the ward with their move. Even though I barely knew anyone in the crowd when I arrived, I made a lot of friends, and even found someone willing to have a jam session with me, the first of which we scheduled for today. As we worked, I felt great, knowing that I was doing my part to serve my Lord and Master through serving His flock. I received no reward (save for the LifeSavers cylinder the mother slipped me during services today), and expected none.
Finding opportunities to serve is far more difficult now that I'm home and caught up in the daily grind. I relish every opportunity I have.