Why Quality Time is the BEST Love Language - Response Saturday #27

Last Tuesday, I asked y'all to tell me your love language! This is what I got back!

So despite my best guesses, I guess the majority of people who commented on this last post are not words of affirmation types of people. Oh well! Maybe you reading my blog is a way of spending quality time with me, perhaps?

Either way, that didn't offer much in the way of stuff to talk about, so I guess I'd better take that quiz myself and let you know what I got. Give me just a minute! In the meantime, think about kittens or something.

...

AREN'T THEY ADORBS?

Anyway, my scores surprised me, but only a little.

See, I would have thought Words of Affirmation would have beat out Quality Time? But I guess not. I think I guessed wrong because when I'm with someone, and they compliment me it's a specific event I can pinpoint and recall and even quote. I must subconsciously enjoy the presence of others more than I consciously do.

When it came to the quiz itself, I felt like the beginning could have easily been manipulated. Since I was familiar with the love languages already, it wasn't too hard to guess which of the two choices would give me which love language. The longer the quiz went on, however, the harder it was to tell.

For example, I was surprised that I got a point in 'receiving gifts' at all, but I did remember which question gave me the one point. I was asked to choose between a.) someone going way out of their way to do something for me, or b.) giving me a small present on their way home. I definitely am not much for gifts, but if you're spending an inordinate amount of time on me (I consider time my most precious resource), then I'm going to feel super guilty and probably start itching (yes, literally). I'd much prefer a 'here you go' to a 'let me sacrifice five hours for you for no good reason!' 

Anyway, so I learned something about myself today! I hope you take the chance to learn something about yourself, too.

Suicide Threat: How Will You Respond? - Response Saturday #25

Last Tuesday, I posed a hypothetical situation.

Let's say you're walking down the street and you see someone about to jump off a bridge, obviously about to kill themselves. How are you supposed to respond?

When I was a Resident Assistant over a hall of freshmen during my Sophomore year of college, I was trained in methods of suicide prevention, though I admit my knowledge is considerably rusty now. My recent research has helped remind me some of the important steps.

#1 - Get help.

Call the authorities immediately. They know what to do. Once you know help/back-up is on the way, approach the individual.

#2 - Keep them talking.

Individuals who are considering suicide generally feel isolated and alone. Showing a genuine interest in them will help them open up, and most individuals contemplating suicide will confess if asked a direct question.

If you're not sure your man on a ledge is suicidal or playing Pokemon Go (or even innocently both), engage in a conversation with them. You might say, "Nice day we're having!" or "How are you doing?" Odds are, they won't respond with cheerfulness, and may even say exactly what's bothering them. If you feel their mood is, indeed, depressed, ask them the question and see how they respond.

#3 - Try to understand them.

If the suffering individual hasn't explained why they're suicidal, ask them to. It could be a broken relationship, or job, or a combination of things. For whatever reason, the individual is hurting, and they won't want you to try and fix the problem. If you just ask questions and listen to what they say, you may be able to gain some valuable insights into who they are.

#4 - Help them see they need help.

This is the tricky part. They may say they don't want help even when they're just testing to see how much you actually want to help and if you'll give up on them. They may genuinely resent you for meddling in their life, and rebuff any of your pleas to find someone more educated and qualified than you in this sort of situation. If they respond negatively to your suggestion, back off and continue to keep them talking. The longer you do, the easier it will be for the authorities to respond in time.

#5 - Your mileage may vary.

I don't wish anyone, myself included, to have to work as a mediator between someone and their own death. However, I still think having some sort of plan in place to deal with these situations will help in the long run.

Of course, when it comes to extreme emotions--you know, the type that prompts people to commit suicide--there are no textbooks. Everyone is going to react and respond to situations differently, and that includes people trying to talk them down from a deadly bridge-jumping experience. In the end, you may have to go with your gut. And speaking of mileage ...

#6 - Pray

If you're a religious person (and most of you who read this blog are), invoke the power of heaven to help you. You may not know what to do and what to say, but if you remember the Lord, he will remember you.

I know every member of my own family has had experiences dealing with persons pondering suicide, while I, myself, am the least experienced of the bunch. Regardless, because of this, I know how important it is to prepare for anything. I wouldn't say I've ever saved someone's life, but I have managed to get individuals to the help they needed because of the preparations I've received--even if I've had to remind myself of that training over this past week.

I'm not an expert, but even if I'm way off base, I have a plan because I want to be able to help.

Thanks for reading.

How I Use My Time (And How I Want to Improve) - Response Saturday #20

This post is in response to this past Tuesday's thinkjoust.

I would argue that I am not a lazy person. Let me break down my average schedule for this past semester.

When I wake up in the morning, I go to my part-time job at Future House Publishing. In the evening, I go to work one of my other two part-time jobs. I 'donate' plasma twice a week. In addition, I work on online coursework, work on creative projects like my novels and this blog, and even throw in some exercise here and there. When I'm finished with all that, I'm afforded a few hours of free time a day.

The question is, what do I do with that free time? Lately, I've been playing video games.

The thing is, I swore off video games for a while there. I started back up this summer because one, all I was doing was working (which meant I was getting burnt out), and two, I wanted to be more informed about narratives in video games, seeing as how becoming a writer in that industry is a possible future career path for me.

The thing is, when I say I use my free time to play video games, I mean all of it. When I'm home, away from work and projects and school, I'm either eating, sleeping, or gaming. That's it.

In the meantime, my impressive stack of books I have yet to read grows instead of shrinking. I've still mastered only one or two chords on my guitar. I haven't figured out how to properly fly a drone yet. I haven't made a YouTube video in months. Except for when I do some one-on-none basketball, I don't go out to appreciate the beautiful summer weather, or take a drive, or do anything physically engaging.

Again, I don't think I'm lazy. But I'm not doing enough with the time I'm given. I can only 'research' video game stories for so long before I'm just wasting time.

So what about all those questions I asked on Tuesday?

Basically, I balance my time between 'working' (which includes my employment(s), my online 'business,' and other responsibilities like school) and video games. As it is, I feel like I have become a slave to routine. I don't do anything because I want to, or because I am reaping true satisfaction from it. Instead, I'm just mindlessly doing the next thing on my check list.

An easy solution would be to take a leaf from Casey's book, but I need modern conveniences for a large variety of reasons, including my work and other things. Sure, what helps me produce blog posts (the internet) may also distract me from improving myself, but the solution may be better time management on my part as opposed to blaming the machine. If I'm being distracted, that's pure user error right there. After all, I know activities that better myself offer the most value in my life.

Either way, the most important thing for me to remember is that life is about living, about loving what you're doing every day. If all I'm doing is working toward goals, always seeking the next 'ending,' then I fail to live in the moment and enjoy what I'm doing. I need to be happy no matter what I haven't accomplished, be it a novel, my education, or even finding a future spouse. I can be happy, right now.

And that's all that matters.

Your Opinion About the New Year is Wrong - Throwback Commentary #64

Hey there! This is a commentary about the post I wrote on December 31, 2014! Click here to read the original!

For those of you relatively new to the Change and Cherish Blog scene, I really like ranting about New Year's. This past New Year's post is evidence of that.

What's funny to me is that the design for the 2016 New Year's post was inspired by the design for the 2015 New Year's post. However, as I reviewed the 2015 post, I couldn't remember the last time I read it. It seems the visual stuck in my mind a lot longer than did the content.

And the content for the 2015 New Year's post was pretty good. I enjoyed getting to know Bob Robert George and his addiction to breaking windows. It was great stuff!

In a way, I'm using this post to remind you to keep up my 2016 New Year's challenge. How are your goals? Are you well on your way to completing them? Do you need to refocus or realign your life to meet your goals? Are some of your goals less important than others?

As for me, I wanted to be accountable to you for my own goals, which I discussed in the 2016 New Year's post.

1.) I have examined and identified many of my own negative emotions. Overcoming them is a daily struggle.

2.) My physical fitness is probably on par with about 40% of my peers, but I have a long way to go to be on par with over 50% of my peers.

3.) I haven't missed a blog post yet, and I definitely feel as though they've become more relevant.

4.) Ama's Watch is going well, and I'm making sales on top of those I made directly through the Kickstarter itself.

5.) Still on track to graduating in August, though I'll still have 15 credits left to tackle come summer.

6.) I will be starting my career at Future House Publishing. The trick is figuring out a supplementary income.

7.) I have not finished any of my half-finished books. However, I'm really close to one (maybe 90% finished?).

How about your goals? Don't be afraid to be accountable in the comments below!

Hey there! This is a commentary about the post I wrote on December 31, 2014! Click here to read the original!

#EngineForGabriel - What You Need to Know

"Ok, I'll bite," you say. "What is #EngineForGabriel?"

The best way to introduce this is to show you the YouTube video that inspired me to write this post in the first place. So here it is!

"Cool, Zac," you may say to me. "Why do you even care?"

It's a good question. Obviously I do for some reason.

Gabriel has a dream. I may bash the idealistic notion of following your dreams, but that doesn't mean I'm not a dreamer myself. I'm trying to self-publish a book on Kindle Direct, for crying out loud. If that doesn't scream 'dream-chaser,' I don't know what does.

But let's say Gabriel makes it into the air using this engine of his. That is inspiring. That is legendary. That will challenge the perspectives of all realists everywhere, including myself. Dreams can happen. Dreams can come true.

So I want you to consider your life. Have you ever had a dream that seemed unattainable? A dream requiring mountains of obstacles to overcome? Are you chasing one of those dreams right now?

Well, for all the dreamers out there, support #EngineForGabriel. Let's make a man fly, and in doing so, inspire contemporaries and generations to come.

Unfortunately, Ylvis' rabid fans got there more quickly than I could. I couldn't find too much information on updates, but here's what I found.

So we can't donate to help out now. However, click here to visit engineforgabriel.com. And even though you can't help out, be sure to follow the story and see Gabriel make his first flight!

Make dreams happen.

Life is Like Running on a Soccer Ball

Let me break down my life right now.

I am taking 10 credit hours. I also show up to and participate in a 3-credit class, in which I am not enrolled.

I am working about 15 hours a week at Future House Publishing.

I write a blog post and structure a social media campaign every day, which can take anywhere from thirty minutes to two hours.

I am working on several other personal projects, including the novels Ama's Watch and Courting Disaster.

I'm also trying to be physically active, as well as maintain an active dating life (which is going great right now, thank you very much ;).

If I were to utilize an overused cliche, I would say I'm juggling a lot in the air right now. But who likes reading overused cliches, am I right? So I say my life is like I'm running on top of a soccer ball.

I'm not behind on anything. Everything is right on schedule. I feel confident in my successes, and am learning from my mistakes. I haven't fallen off the soccer ball yet, but I'm going to have to keep running hard to stay on top. And who knows? Maybe my efforts will score me a goal soon.

What is your life like? Juggling? Running on top of a soccer ball? Something else? Be sure to comment below!

Why I Hate When People Tell Me to Follow My Dreams

I want to be a writer.

On my own time, I write novels and even daily blog posts. In regards to compensation, I have received enough money over my lifetime to pay for five months of rent.

That's just rent. No groceries. No electrical bills. Nothing, Just rent.

I have supported myself by taking on other jobs and responsibilities, including a graduate education. However, had I insisted on doing nothing but writing (and therefore following my dream), I would be either living in my parents' basement or starved to death.

I don't want to live life on a street corner, begging for bills while scribbling the rules of fantasy worlds into stained notebooks. I want to live, if not a rich lifestyle, at least a comfortable one.

I have thought about this a lot recently. Whenever I express concern over my career prospects, people tell me they have the answer. "Just follow your dreams, and you'll be fine," they say.

"Great," I say. "But how should I follow my dreams? Just drop everything and start writing? How will I eat? How will I shower? Where will I sleep? If you have an answer, tell me!"

They always keep that last secret from me..

Yeah, ok, I'm a bit of a hypocrite. If you read my post titled Spotlight Review: Zen Pencils and click on number 98, you'll see the comic criticizes my way of thinking. 

At the same time, I like the sentiment of following my dreams, if not the direct application.

Right now, I'm working toward my dream. I'm self-publishing my book. I'm working for a publishing company. I am close to graduating with an English Degree.

But there may come a point in time where I have to step away from that dream and focus on a career path that will bring the most comfort and stability for my family. My responsibilities may swallow or overshadow my dreams.

I'm willing to follow my dreams for now. Because I am responsible for only myself, it's easier. But if my debt grows, if I'm let go from my job, if it becomes time to raise a family ... I may have to move on.

In that sense, I admire people who are able to make dreams a reality. At the same time, I will only follow my dreams when their weight is greater than the weight of responsibility.

Temple Square Reminder - Throwback Commentary #56

Hey there! This is a commentary discussing the post I wrote on December 6, 2014. Click here to read it!

With tomorrow's post being another #faithfriday, I thought I'd sprinkle some awareness in the water.

I think what's beautiful about the original post is the part where I talk about what the Salt Lake Temple represents for both me and for the saints who built it. 40 years of concentrated dedication to the construction of that structure.

Would I be willing to work 40 years on something to make it as close to perfect as I could? After all, I've only been working on Ama's Watch for around 15 months. I'm not sure I have the dedication to work on something for much longer. But those saints certainly did.

Maybe you're struggling in school right now, or maybe you've had some trials hit you, or maybe you're not sure which step you should take next. I promise that as you trust in what you believe, things will turn out best in the end. Put in that trust, and even if it takes 40 years, you may find something amazing.

Tomorrow I'll be devoting a post to explaining exactly what Mormon temples are. Either way, I'll see you soon.

Hey there! This is a commentary discussing the post I wrote on December 6, 2014. Click here to read it!

Why and How I'm Restructuring Throwback Thursday

While compiling the results from the last poll of 2015, I noticed something about the votes for the Throwback Thursday feature.

There were no votes for Throwback Thursday.

Despite the lack of interest in these posts, I will continue to post an equivalent every Thursday at the normal time. Critics of my Throwback Thursday posts may throw up their arms in disbelief. "Why?" they may demand. "Why are you keeping this unpopular feature?"

Well, for several reasons.

Throwback Thursday posts give me a break during the week, an opportunity to work on other projects. They give me a chance to feature older posts lost and forgotten in the archives, posts still
relevant to my current audience.

Each Throwback Thursday is nothing more than a commentary on a post from the past, a look into my memories regarding the ongoing creation of the blog. It is the links found within the Throwback Thursday posts that offer the true meat of that day's message. However, as I've reviewed the statistics, almost no-one ever clicks on the links.

This prompts confusion. Without the context of the post found at the other end of the link, my commentary makes no sense. People read Throwback Thursday posts and wonder, What he is talking about?  No matter what I've done to try and promote knowledge of these links, readers just don't click on them.

So, I'm restructuring this feature.

Every Thursday, I will market a post from the past, only this time, it will have (with Added Commentary) attached to the title. You can think read the original post, and, if you want, click on the link at the bottom to read my fresh commentary.

Be sure to give me feedback as I continue on with this!

Why I'm Keeping Thinkjoust Tuesday and What I'm Changing About It

For the very last Thinkjoust of 2016, I asked you, as my readers, to let me know which features of Change and Cherish you appreciate the most. I let this poll run for two weeks straight, a full week longer than usual.

Here were the results.

These results taught me some things.

For starters, it's true only 9 people voted on the poll, even though my daily readership is above 30 people on a bad day. One of the primary reasons I started writing this blog was so I could create a community. The lack of votes suggests we're still far away from that.

Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday are all 'feature' days. On each of these days during this week, I will be commenting on their futures as features. For features without specific hosting days, I have prepared a short commentary below.

Why I'm Keeping [insert feature here] and What I'm Changing About It

Poetry

I was surprised to see this at the top. Very few of my poems receive above thirty views, and while no poems made the Top 10 list this year, one of my poems made the very bottom of the Bottom 10 list. As it is, I have decided to write more poems, but also try to include discussion questions at their end.

Slice of Life

Even though this was a tie for second, pageviews fluctuate for these depending on the topic. Slice of life posts made both the Top and Bottom 10 lists of 2015. I know some of my more vocal fans hate these sorts of posts, but because Slice of Life posts are an integral part of the blog, I don't see them leaving anytime soon. I do want to make their content more relevant, however.

Videos

Again, like poetry, videos don't see a lot of love here. I don't make very many videos as it is, seeing as how they require about ten times more work than your average post. However, I will continue to make videos when the fancy strikes me.

Reviews

There are probably fewer review posts out there than there are any other type of post. Regardless, I was surprised they got so little love, seeing as how they all average pretty high views on average. I don't know that I'll stop writing reviews altogether, but I definitely will not be as eager to jump into one.

And, finally, the one you've been waiting for ...

Thinkjoust Tuesdays

One of the big problems with these posts is that the topics discussed are generally of no significant relevance to anyone. The most popular Thinkjousts revolved around dating and pets, but others, like those about weather or operating programs, barely received more than a 'Meh' from you as a collective audience.

I've pondered how to improve this, and I've decided several things.

First, I'm going to stop posting polls, at least on a regular basis. People interested in engaging in the content should use the comments section found at the bottom of every post.

Second, I'm going to start discussing heavier topics, likely revolving around current events.

I'm scared to do this because I don't want Change and Cherish to become volatile and unwelcome as people come in and express their opinions. However, I do believe that every opinion has the right to be heard, and that this sort of discussion naturally builds community. So I guess we'll see where it goes!

Thank you for your support and love. I'll see you tomorrow!

My New Year's Goals

With the New Year comes resolutions. 

I don't like resolutions very much, because they often seem without focus or motivation. Just as an example, it's great that you want to decrease the amount of video games you play, but by how much? What consequences will come if you play too many video games? What rewards will you give yourself if you do well with your resolution?

So, instead, I'm going to outline my goals for 2016.

1.) Examine, identify, and work to overcome my negative emotions that affect the way I view the world, including ...

a. pride

b. entitlement

c. greed

... among others.

2.) Become physically fit enough to be above or on par with the majority of my peers.

3.) Write a blog post every day (363 more to go!) while making the posts more relevant.

4.) Find success with the beginning of my self-publications, starting with Ama's Watch and the KickStarter funding going on right now.

5.) Graduate with my BA in English by August. This will require ...

a. passing my remaining 10 in-class credit hours.

b. passing my remaining 15 independent study credit hours.

6.) Determine where to begin my career.

7.) Finish and submit to publishers/agents my three half-finished books, including ...

a. working title: You're Doing It Right

b. working title: Courting Disaster

c. working title: Jackalope

Into the new year, off I go!

I am Self-Publishing My Novel Using KickStarter!

Hey there! I'm self-publishing my book, Ama's Watch. Click here to visit my crowdfunder to see what I'm trying to accomplish in the next month!

The working book cover.

If you'd like to read an excerpt of the novel, go click the tab underneath the Change and Cherish logo at the top. The tab is just to the right of Breaking News! Or, alternatively, click here.

You can and will get free stuff if you support me, so come on in! I'll be needing you!

Most of the details are on the KickStarter page itself, so I'll just go let you browse now.

What to Expect from this Blog before the End of the Old Year

Don't forget to vote on that poll on the right-hand side! I'd love to find ways to improve this blog.

Hey, everyone! In order to hype some of the exciting things coming up on the schedule for Change and Cherish, I wanted to give you a current peek at what I'm planning on doing for the rest of the year.

24th - Star Wars: The Force Awakens movie review. In this post, I'll decide if I'd recommend it to an audience seeking clean entertainment, if I thought the movie was good, and if the story's primary message was tight or even existent, among other things.

25th - Christmas introspection. There's a high chance I'll put out a late post that day.

26th - Another politics post. At this point, it's looking like another Know Your Candidate, unless someone has a topic they want me to express an opinion over.

27th - Sunday Snapshot.

28th - Thoughts on the Zoo lights, a trip my family and I are embarking upon tonight,

29th - A recap of your least favorite posts from 2015, or the posts with the least number of views overall. You can see last year's counterpart here.

30th - A recap of the posts I thought deserved more credit than they received. You can see last year's counterpart here.

31st - A list of the most-viewed posts of 2015. You can see last year's counterpart here.

1st - A REVEAL OF MY NEW BUSINESS?!?

2nd - My New Year's Resolutions.

I'm excited about everything coming up! Hopefully, we crash into 2016 right!

Setting Goals: NaNoMo Day 9

D&C 1:12 - "Prepare ye, prepare ye for that which is to come, for the Lord is nigh."

NaNoMo or NaNoWriMo or whatever you call it is still underway. I'm taking the challenge to write a novel in a month seriously, and as you can see by the graph the official website kindly made for me, I'm doing an all right job staying on par.

Yesterday, though, was a bit of a setback, at least in my mind. I ended up getting pretty caught up in a lot of other things, including an unexpected nap, a dinner out, a very long D&D session, and even work. As it was, it was the first day I failed to reach my daily goal of 2000 words a day.

Oh, sure, I've consistently outpaced myself each and every day, giving myself a nice little buffer to work with (since I don't write on Sundays, that means I've only actually worked on the novel seven days this month, meaning my personal par should be about 14,000 right now), but if I slip every day, if I fail to make each step ... well, let's consider the below analogy.

In achieving a goal, you must consider it like a flight of stairs. Yes, you may want to reach the top, but if you try to leap up there in a single bound, you will probably crack your shins on a stair and fall all the way back down. Of course, no one except for Superman tries to ascend the stairs that way. Rather, we pick up one foot, put it down, pick up the next, put it slightly higher up, slowly ascending, watching each step, until you finally make it to the top. It is the careful consideration and execution of each step that enables us to reach our goal.

Now, a lot of people tell me they're impressed with the dedication I'm demonstrating in sticking to it. One person told me, "I meet so many people who want to be novelists, and they never do anything about it." I firmly believe most people fail to reach their goals because they see the top of the stairs for the top of the stairs alone. They don't plan each step; they just try to tackle everything at once.

In the case of my novel, I sat down and did the math. I calculated the bare minimum of how much I would need to write each day to succeed. I keep myself to that schedule, and I am finding success. Time will tell if I possess the determination and drive to actually succeed (I just finalized my schedule for the upcoming week, and HOLY COW am I busy with a lot of distractions). 

I can promise all of you that, if there is something you want to achieve, something you have on a bucket list, something you know you can do but haven't started yet, today is the day! Make the plans! Promise yourself you'll follow the steps you set for yourself, and push out. There is nothing more fulfilling in life than achieving those goals you set, and as you practice in simple things like novel-writing, you will only become better prepared for the steps you will take toward the Celestial Kingdom.