... Livens shook his head and spun the hook in a
tight circle. He released, and the hook soared several stories and clinked against the top of the wall. The
assassin gave the rope a few experimental tugs and determined it was steady.
The ascent was quick and easy, even after
Livens stomped extra hard on the eye stalks of the Snail relief. After he checked
for any watching eyes, Livens hoisted himself onto the battlements and signaled
it was safe to ascend. Rubeus grabbed hold of the rope, and he soon crouched
next to his companion, wrapping the hook back into his bag.
Livens strode
forward, keeping his pace light and nimble. Rubeus, despite his girth, stayed
just as quiet, and the two made it to the guardhouse at the end of the walkway.
Livens pressed against the wall just outside
the door and whispered to Rubeus. “I don’t want to kill any guards. If they’re
distracted, let’s sneak past. If they’re not
distracted, you cause a distraction.
I’ll get inside from there.”
“Why do I
have to cause a distraction? Why can’t you?” Rubeus said.
“Just throw a rock or something.”
“Is that
all I’m good for? Throwing rocks? What would you like me to do next, pick my
nose? Use the outhouse?”
“Fine!” Livens said. “I’ll cause a distraction!”
“Oh, please,” Rubeus said. “You’re awful at
stuff like that. I’ll take care of it.”
Livens looked at the sky and clenched his
fists. “Fine! I’m opening the door!”
Reaching out, Livens pushed the door open,
cringing when the hinges creaked in the silence. No light shone from within the
guardhouse, but Livens was prepared for anything. Taking a deep breath, he
peeked through the crack between the door and the doorjamb.
The room was empty. Even more strange, the
place looked deserted. The round table at the center of the room was cleared
save for a single candle, which had long since burned down to a hardened wax
puddle at the bottom of the holder. The two torches anchored into the walls
didn’t look used, and the few open cupboards were barren.
Hesitant, Livens stepped inside. “We’re lucky.
No one’s around.”
Rubeus stepped after Livens, sniffing the air.
“Luck has nothing to do with it. I don’t think anyone’s been in here for a long
time.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. Guards should be
up here every night, if not every day.”
Rubeus shrugged. He stepped up to inspect the
cupboards. “Maybe Hebetudo figures it’s safer if he keeps all his guards in the
lower levels. Intruders have easier access to the battlements, but the manor’s
defenses are concentrated down below.”
Livens nodded. “So we need to be all the more
cautious.”
“Is it possible for you to be any more cautious?”
“It’s a miracle, I know,” Livens said.
Livens tried the other door, which led out to
the southern battlement of the manor. The assassins crept along until they
reached the next guard house, which was also devoid of any signs of recent
activity. This guard house was unique, however, as it had a flight of stairs
descending to the lower level.
Livens crept down the stairs, passed through a
tunnel, and stepped onto the top floor of the manor proper. Still wary of
guards, Livens looked down the hallway, but all he saw were banners bearing the
sign of the Snail.
“Which way should we go?” Livens said.
Rubeus retrieved one of the gold coins he’d
pilfered from Lucrum’s cache and flipped it into the air. Livens caught the
coin before it landed in Rubeus’ palm.
“No,” Livens said. “No coins.”
“Why not?” Rubeus said. “Flipping coins is a
tried-and-true practice of making tough decisions!”
“Don’t you remember the last few times you’ve flipped a coin?”
Rubeus’ expression was nothing but innocent.
“Do remind me.”
“Don’t
do that.” Livens ground his teeth together. “You remember.”
Rubeus stood on his toes, holding his arms the
way dancers do. He leapt around Livens, twirling the way dancers do not.
“Come on, Livens!” Rubeus said. “I’ve reminded
you about Lucrum, about Hebetudo. Why don’t you remind me of something for once?”
Livens rolled his eyes. “Fine. Last month, you
flipped a coin to decide which of the last two slices of pie you should give me.”
“That turned out perfectly well!”
“I got food
poisoning for a week!”
“Perfectly well for me, anyway.”
“And then, last week, you wanted to know which
room we should take at that Inn.”
“Ah, yes, what a delightful establishment! The
coin decided we should sleep in room number two,” Rubeus said.
“Room number two was infested with termites. I
fell into the innkeeper’s bath when the floor dropped out from underneath my
bed!”
“Pity the innkeeper was bathing at the time. I
thought he was more pleasant without the bump on his head.”
“And yesterday, we came across a fork in the
road,” Livens said.
“The perfect time to flip a coin.”
“Perhaps, but the paths were labelled.”
“The paths were labelled poorly.”
“The left path said, ‘This Way to Intus!’ Your
coin told us to take the right path,
which read, ‘Beware Ye Fools Who Enter Here! Certain Death Lies This Way!’”
“And our deaths certainly weren’t certain.
We’re still alive, aren’t we?”
“I got caught in quicksand!”
“Another misnomer. At the rate that sand was pulling
you under, you’d have stayed alive for another hour.”
“An hour is plenty quick, thank you very
much!” Livens looked at his fist, which still clenched the coin. “We are not flipping this coin. Fate hates me,
and that’s that.”
Rubeus grinned, his eyes twinkling. “Very
well, oh wise one. Which hallway do you
think we should take?”
Livens drew himself up, lifted a finger, and
opened his mouth.
He closed his mouth.
He opened his mouth again.
“I don’t know,” Livens said.
Rubeus nodded, his face thoughtful. “It seems
we have two choices here. You don’t
want me to flip a coin, but I think
that’s the best option.” He scratched his chin. “Should we flip a coin to decide
between us?”
Livens felt his eye twitch.
Rubeus held up his hands and backed away. “All
right, all right, new plan.” He pointed at Livens’ fist. “I already flipped the
coin; we don’t know which face is up. It could be Ama’s side, it could be the
king’s side. If you’re so convinced we’ll regret whichever side faces up, why
not choose the opposite?”
Livens frowned. “So if Ama’s side takes us
down the right hallway, and the king’s side takes us to the left …”
“Then we do the opposite,” Rubeus said.
“Fair?”
Livens considered this for a moment. “Fine.”
Holding his hand in front of him, Livens
extended his fingers. Before Livens could see which side faced up, Rubeus
covered the coin with a finger.
“Of course,” Rubeus said. “Either way, those
faces represent something. If Fate really has it out for you, you’re blasted
either way.”
Before Livens realized the implications behind
the statement, Rubeus lifted his finger. The side with the late King lay
face-up.
Livens scowled. “So, originally, this would
have meant we should take the left hallway.”
“Yep.”
“But because you suggested we do the opposite,
we’re going to take the right hallway instead.”
“Uh-huh.”
Livens fumed. He could feel his face turning
red. “No,” he said. “If Fate wants me to suffer, I’ll fool her a third time!
We’re taking the left!”
Livens turned to the left, walked three steps
down the hallway, and fell through a trapdoor.
End Excerpt.
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