|For a commentary on this header image, follow the asterisk.*|
There is no one person more aware of my inadequacies than myself.
I could go into all the reasons why I'm the worst, why I hate many of the actions and choices I find myself making, but that's not the point of this post. Instead, I want to talk about why I'm glad I'm the worst.
I've imagined a world where I didn't make mistakes. I say everything right the first time. I know exactly what to do in every situation. I stick to my principles, living my beliefs exactly the way I think they should be lived. Nobody finds flaws in my lifestyle.
The thing is, such a world would never encourage me to improve myself.
In the world we live in now, I make the same mistakes over and over again and then recognize I have things I need to work on. Because of this, I'm more forgiving of my fellows and their mistakes. My own pride is kept to a minimum. And if I wasn't prone to error, then I would never find reason to turn to God and keep Him in my life.
If I somehow remained at a peak internal strength my entire life, that alternate self might die a better person than I will at the rate I'm currently going. However, I will have learned how to deal with trial and heartache--even if those are mostly self-imposed--and will be able to claim I did my very best.
When I make a mistake, I remind myself of a better me.
*I have a hard time making these header images sometimes. For example, looked for visual references illustrating a 'mistake,' and the most common image seemed to revolve around blindfolded people accidentally walking off cliffs.I tried to capture this image, but found it impossible to draw a blindfold on a light bulb without it looking childish or stupid. So now I worry it looks like the light bulb is committing suicide, which was not my intention at all. By the time I worried the image would be misconstrued, I'd already spent far too much time on it. I hope the lackluster 'shrug' the light bulb offers helps add some clarification, but either way, it didn't mean to fall off the cliff! I swear!