Talk Someone Down from Suicide - Thinkjoust Tuesday #56

Spoiler alert: I take pride in my words.

I have struggled for years to improve my way with words, both written and oral. I have studied thesauri for fun. I write six days a week. I analyze rhetoric and apply good techniques into my own. I even presume to smith my own words.

The thing is, with all my knowledge of words, I still find myself in situations where I just don't know what to say.

I couldn't imagine trying to talk someone down from a ledge. I wouldn't know what to do if someone approached me and confessed they were thinking of taking their own life. I would do my best to say things from the heart, but phrases like, "Things will turn out fine if you just hold on," and "I know how you feel," will be inadequate at best and downright insulting at worst. I've never personally encountered suicidal thoughts.

This week, I invite you all in join me in my attempts to improve my abilities with language.

Let's throw out a hypothetical situation. You're walking across a bridge when you notice a stranger obviously contemplating jumping off. What do you say to this person?

As for me, I think I would try to get a bit philosophical. I would tell the person to stop, obviously, and also tell them that every life if precious. This person has the capacity to bring a smile to someone's face, even if they don't believe it. I would tell the stranger on the ledge about me. Not necessarily my trials, but who I am and why I've come to believe such things. Most importantly, I'd do everything I could to keep them engaged in conversation long enough for more experienced help to arrive.

I don't know how I did, so I'm going to take this next week to study what experts say about proper talking-down techniques. Be sure to comment either below or on social media what you would say, and then come back this Saturday to see how you did. 

I Make Mistaeks

As I said on Tuesday, I'm not perfect. And part of not being perfect is making mistaeks.

Mistaeks are things I struggle with. I have a hard time letting them go, if you remember my personality type from the 16 personalities post. As the website states, "[I] define [my] self-esteem by whether [I am] able to live up to [my] ideals, and sometimes ask for criticism more out of insecurity than out of confidence, always wondering what [I] could do better. If [I] fail to meet a goal or to help someone [I] said [I'd] help, [my] self-confidence will undoubtedly plummet."

As an example, I am a very huggy, touchy-feely sort of person who grew up in a household full of huggy, touchy-feely sort of people. Sure, some of us grew out of that, but I didn't. And so I sometimes make a jerkwad of myself when I go in for a hug with a friend I consider close, and they ain't havin' it.

Or other times, I make inappropriate jokes that sounded a whole lot better or even just cleaner inside my head. Sometimes I totally forget that I made a commitment. Other times, I'm just selfish and don't want to give my time of day to people who really need it.

And then I can't stop thinking about what I did wrong. I keep agonizing and sweating over my failures and wishing I didn't make such a fool of myself all the time.

I could go on. The thing is, no matter how many mistaeks I make, I know things are going to turn out all right.

I know this because things have turned out all right before.

So if you're anything like me, and you hate the mistakes you make, don't worry. Through the grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ, there will be nothing left broken or unhealed.

He hasn't left me yet, despite everything.

Should You Tell Strangers They're Beautiful? - Thinkjoust Tuesday #49

This video went viral for a while back in 2015. Ever since then, I've been thinking about how this sort of exercise would work in an open setting.

For example, I remember when I was first entering the missionary training center. As my Dad drove me up to the cul-de-sac to drop me off, a group of missionaries heading off to exercise in the field passed by my open window. "Welcome!" some of them called.

"YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!" one bellowed.

The compliment surprised me, but I was so relieved by the random compliment, I was better able to shoulder the conflicting emotions I was feeling, as well as better hold back any threatening tears looming to escape the jail of my ducts.

I've heard other stories of individuals being told that they're beautiful by random strangers, and how touched and excited they were thanks to this encounter. Even though telling strangers they're beautiful seems to grind against American social structures, I don't think anyone would be entirely against having this experience.

At the same time, I can imagine certain circumstances in which people might be put off by this sort of complimenting. What if the complimenter is much older than the complimentee, but not old enough? What if the complimenter just looks creepy, or gives off creepy vibes? What if the complimentee just doesn't find the complimenter beautiful back? What if the delivery comes across as forced or awkward? What if the complimentee just feels like they're being hit on? What if the complimenter uses the exchange to hit on the complimentee?

As you can see, this can go a lot of different directions. Complimenting random strangers may not always be appropriate.

So here's the thinkjoust. Is this activity ever appropriate? And if so, then when? Comment below or on the usual social media platforms, and you may just be featured!

I look forward to hearing what you all have to say.

Relief of Spring - Sunday Snapshot #55

You Can't Go Through Life Without Hurting People

No, not that kind of hurting people.

In my personal experience, I've found that the modern usage of the word heartbreaker has a negative connotation. Modern heartbreakers are people who try to get with as many different partners as they can. You're are of the appropriate synonyms.

However, the original usage of heartbreaker actually had positive connotations. A heartbreaker was considered to be quite the catch. When the heartbreaker finally chose a significant other, many individuals would be 'heartbroken,' not because the heartbreaker did anything to them, but because there wasn't enough of the heartbreaker to go around.

Yes, I'm aware many girls think all guys are tools. Many guys find girls nothing but promiscuous. But I do believe modern heartbreakers exist in this world. Those people cannot go through life without hurting people, albeit unintentionally.

"Ok, fine," you say. "So heartbreakers can't go through life without hurting people, but I can guarantee I'm not a heartbreaker. Nobody likes me."

You know, random reader, sometimes I feel the same way. But take a peek at this.

I once read a sentiment written by some wise individual that was posted to Facebook following its beginnings on tumblr. I'll paraphrase as best as I can.

"You know all those times when you admire someone from afar, and they never knew? How many times have you been that person for someone else?" 

You may think you know the effect you have on people, but you really don't. Odds are, there is someone out there who finds you an attractive and interesting person, but are just too shy to do anything about it.

Congratulations, you're a heartbreaker.

Even beyond dating, sometimes you just can't help but hurt people's feelings in other ways. I have met people who own the mentality that they "just want to do the right thing." That is so admirable, let me tell you, but always doing the right thing doesn't mean people won't still be hurt.

I honestly believe every single one of our current presidential candidates believes they are doing the right thing. All of them have offended or angered scores of Americans across the nation. You, yourself, have beliefs and principles and morals that may offend the sensibilities of those around you. I am not a smoker, and I have no desire to ever smoke, but I don't judge people who do smoke. It's just a thing people do. However, when I gained the trust of my coworkers while I worked at Sonic, a few grew upset when I refused to participate in their breakly ritual. "Just a puff," they said. "If you don't do it, then you're dissing my lifestyle."

I'm sure many of you have found yourselves in similar situations.

If you have religious, personal, political, or even moral standards, then you'll likely offend someone. Some people are even looking to be offended by people with different sensibilities than them.

"Ok, cool," you say. "You've convinced me. But what's the point?"

I've met some people who hate to hurt people's feelings. I'll admit, I'm one of those people. The thing is, this type of person often hold themselves back. They are so worried that their opinion or action might hurt someone else, they never do anything for themselves. They leap through life's hoops seeking only to please or ease someone else and their own burdens. They date people they don't really want to. They hide their opinions and beliefs in the face of scrutiny. They do things because someone else told them to, not because they wanted to do those things for themselves.

I think I've made my point. So here's my challenge for you today.

If you are worried about hurting people's feelings, don't be. Obviously, this world needs more kindness and tact, but there comes a point where you need to stand for yourself. Be that person. And while some people may turn away from you, the people who will prove the most important in your life will gather around you.

I've seen it.

#EngineForGabriel - What You Need to Know

"Ok, I'll bite," you say. "What is #EngineForGabriel?"

The best way to introduce this is to show you the YouTube video that inspired me to write this post in the first place. So here it is!

"Cool, Zac," you may say to me. "Why do you even care?"

It's a good question. Obviously I do for some reason.

Gabriel has a dream. I may bash the idealistic notion of following your dreams, but that doesn't mean I'm not a dreamer myself. I'm trying to self-publish a book on Kindle Direct, for crying out loud. If that doesn't scream 'dream-chaser,' I don't know what does.

But let's say Gabriel makes it into the air using this engine of his. That is inspiring. That is legendary. That will challenge the perspectives of all realists everywhere, including myself. Dreams can happen. Dreams can come true.

So I want you to consider your life. Have you ever had a dream that seemed unattainable? A dream requiring mountains of obstacles to overcome? Are you chasing one of those dreams right now?

Well, for all the dreamers out there, support #EngineForGabriel. Let's make a man fly, and in doing so, inspire contemporaries and generations to come.

Unfortunately, Ylvis' rabid fans got there more quickly than I could. I couldn't find too much information on updates, but here's what I found.

So we can't donate to help out now. However, click here to visit engineforgabriel.com. And even though you can't help out, be sure to follow the story and see Gabriel make his first flight!

Make dreams happen.

Journey - Sunday Snapshot #12

Breaking Noon - Sunday Snapshot #54

Winter vs. Spring - Sunday Snapshot #53

What Happened to the One-Eyed Cat?

Near the beginning of the new year, I wrote a post about my one-eyed cat. Click here to read that post.

The cat, Archie, looked like he'd gone through some sort of fight that left his left eye ever closed. When I opened his eyelid, I saw nothing but pus and blood. I was convinced he'd lost the eye for good.

After I came back to college following the winter break, my parents took Archie to a vet. The vet worked his antibiotic magic, and soon, Mom and Dad were able to send me new pics.

I could not believe it. His eye is still a little cloudy, but it looks like he's well on his way to recovery.

The message behind the post I wrote at the beginning of the year was simple. Be like an animal and don't fret about things you can't control. Don't let outside circumstances affect your personality or who you are. Be true to yourself.

And look. That cat made it out of his trial.

So can you.

V-Day Week 2016: Why Dating is Superior to Job Hunting - Throwback Commentary #57

Hey there! This post is a commentary discussing the post I wrote on September 19, 2015. Click here to read the post from September!

Happy Valentines Day week! I figured even the throwback deserved a dating theme.

When you read the original post, you see how confused and frustrated I was about my future. Things have changed since then.

I am more confident in my future. I have some tentative plans regarding my career and educational prospects. I am breaking into the literary industry. I forged connections I hope will leapfrog me to success. In a few weeks, I hope to be able to report on the status of my endeavors.

The moral of the story is, no matter how bleak and confusing my future may seem, when I press forward through the fog, my path makes more sense.

Well, I guess that's only one of two morals. Though I've laid a plan for job-hunting, I am still just as clueless in regards to dating. I would now hazard that Dating is Inferior to Job-Hunting, completely cutting the feet out from under the crux of my previous argument.

Oh, well.

Hey there! This post is a commentary discussing the post I wrote on September 19, 2015. Click here to read the post from September!

Temple Square Reminder - Throwback Commentary #56

Hey there! This is a commentary discussing the post I wrote on December 6, 2014. Click here to read it!

With tomorrow's post being another #faithfriday, I thought I'd sprinkle some awareness in the water.

I think what's beautiful about the original post is the part where I talk about what the Salt Lake Temple represents for both me and for the saints who built it. 40 years of concentrated dedication to the construction of that structure.

Would I be willing to work 40 years on something to make it as close to perfect as I could? After all, I've only been working on Ama's Watch for around 15 months. I'm not sure I have the dedication to work on something for much longer. But those saints certainly did.

Maybe you're struggling in school right now, or maybe you've had some trials hit you, or maybe you're not sure which step you should take next. I promise that as you trust in what you believe, things will turn out best in the end. Put in that trust, and even if it takes 40 years, you may find something amazing.

Tomorrow I'll be devoting a post to explaining exactly what Mormon temples are. Either way, I'll see you soon.

Hey there! This is a commentary discussing the post I wrote on December 6, 2014. Click here to read it!

Bad Weather - Sunday Snapshot #51

Overcome - Sunday Snapshot #50

If You Feel Discouraged, Check This One-Eyed Cat

You know that saying about herding cats? You know, how it's impossible? Well, it's even more impossible to get a cat to pose for an actual picture. Goodness.

If you didn't know I was a cat person, click here.

This is my family's cat. I've grown quite attached to the animal over the years. He's lived in North Carolina, Tennessee, and now Washington. A few days before I came home for the holidays, the cat got into a nasty fight that ended up taking out one of his eyes.

As I spent time with the cat, I noticed his personality and demeanor was pretty much unchanged. He was as affectionate as he'd been before. He was as friendly as he'd been before. It was like he'd never lived through the trial that had ultimately defaced him.

I've seen that in other pets, too. My brother's dog had an injured knee that may be permanently damaged, but the dog kept trying to walk it off anyway.

Animals seem to understand better than humans that there's no use fretting over a trial we can't control. Sometimes, bad things just happen. I've found that the greatest amount of happiness in life comes when we don't only wait for the sunrise, but also appreciate the light cast by the stars.

Was Your 2nd Day of School As Overwhelming As Mine?

Doctrine and Covenants 84:88 - "And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up."

At the end of the first day of the Winter semester, I was ecstatic. I was feeling on top of the world. I felt like I could do anything. I looked like this:

Then came the end of my second day. 

SO OVERWHELMED.

It helped that, on the first day of classes, we reached the minimum goal for my KickStarter. I was pretty pumped about that. By the time the end of the second day rolled around, I was drowning underneath the full knowledge of the assignments and classwork I would have to complete before finals.

At the same time, even as I wallowed in despair, the second day had some bright spots. I got to spend time with some of my good friends. I figured out a way to manage my schedule over the upcoming weeks. I felt the Spirit guiding me in my words and actions.

You see, even when you're downtrodden, you're never alone. I recognized that yesterday. I hope you have chances to recognize it, too.

Good luck with classes, and I'll see you tomorrow!

Sunday Snapshot #6 - Foothills (Classic)

My New Year's Goals

With the New Year comes resolutions. 

I don't like resolutions very much, because they often seem without focus or motivation. Just as an example, it's great that you want to decrease the amount of video games you play, but by how much? What consequences will come if you play too many video games? What rewards will you give yourself if you do well with your resolution?

So, instead, I'm going to outline my goals for 2016.

1.) Examine, identify, and work to overcome my negative emotions that affect the way I view the world, including ...

a. pride

b. entitlement

c. greed

... among others.

2.) Become physically fit enough to be above or on par with the majority of my peers.

3.) Write a blog post every day (363 more to go!) while making the posts more relevant.

4.) Find success with the beginning of my self-publications, starting with Ama's Watch and the KickStarter funding going on right now.

5.) Graduate with my BA in English by August. This will require ...

a. passing my remaining 10 in-class credit hours.

b. passing my remaining 15 independent study credit hours.

6.) Determine where to begin my career.

7.) Finish and submit to publishers/agents my three half-finished books, including ...

a. working title: You're Doing It Right

b. working title: Courting Disaster

c. working title: Jackalope

Into the new year, off I go!

Sunday Snapshot #5 - Growth (Classic)

Sunday Snapshot #4 - Fog (Classic)