The Strong Ox and the Weak Ox - A Parable [V-Day Week 2016 EXTRA]

As I wrote last Wednesday's post, I thought of a cool little parable to illustrate my points. Unfortunately, the post became super long, so I decided to cut the parable and feature it in a different post.

 If you would like to know what inspired this story, or if you would like more knowledge about how oxen pull together, click here and read the three paragraphs that begin with "President Boyd K. Packer ..."

A group of oxen were milling around in their pasture when a farmer came by. "Hey there, oxes!" he said.

"We're called oxen," the Nerdy Ox said.

"Whatever," the farmer said. "I need two of you oxes to pull my cart to the next farm over. Who's willing to lend me a hand?"

"We don't have hands, but we'll lend you a hoof!" the Nerdy Ox said.

The farmer pointed at the Nerdy Ox. "He's not invited. Is anyone else willing to volunteer?"

Two oxen stepped forward. One was much larger than the other. "We can do it," said the Strong Ox. "I'm a little bit stronger than him, but we're best friends. I'm sure we can manage."

"Well, let me yoke ya, and we'll get goin'!" said the farmer.

The two oxen pulled the farmer's cart along. However, the Small Ox tired. He had to push much harder to keep up with his stronger friend. It didn't take long for the Small Ox to drag his hooves. The Strong Ox didn't notice at first, pulling her load as best as she could, but because she carried a majority of the weight, she tired as well. Both oxen came to a stop.

"What are you doing?" the farmer said. "We still have miles and miles to go!"

"Something is wrong," the Strong Ox said. She looked to her smaller companion. "What is wrong, my friend?"

The Small Ox ducked his head in shame. "I am not as strong as you. I cannot keep up with your pace, and as such, have allowed you to pull most of the weight."

"I see," said the Strong Ox. "I really did believe we could do it together. However, I see that, because I am stronger than you, we cannot work as a team as well as we would like to. Let us go back, and I will find a more equal partner."

The oxen pulled the cart back to the pasture. The farmer replaced the Small Ox with the New Ox, whose strength matched the Strong Ox. The Small Ox watched with sadness as his friend worked with the New Ox to pull the farmer's cart forward out of sight.

After some time, a new farmer came rolling up in his cart. "I need two oxen to help me pull my cart to the next farm!" he said.

"Thank you for calling us oxen!" the Nerdy Ox said. "I was worried none of you ignorant farmers knew anything about proper English semantics!"

The new farmer thought about what the Nerdy Ox would taste like in a burger.

The Small Ox turned away from new farmer, ashamed, but then the Other Ox nuzzled his side. The Small Ox saw she was close to his size. 

"Come on," the Other Ox said. "Let us pull this farmer's cart."

"But I already failed to pull one cart," the Small Ox said. "How can I pull another?"

"Because we are of the same size," the Other Ox said. "And together, we will share the load."

So the new farmer yoked the Small Ox and the Other Ox. 

The two oxen shared the same weight and load. Neither pushed ahead of the other. Together, they pulled the cart all the way to the next farm over, where the Strong Ox and the New Ox waited.

V-Day Week 2016: Love - Sunday Snapshot #52

V-Day Week 2016: Misunderstandings Between Guys and Girls Have One Solution

This last Tuesday, I released a post entitled "V-Day Week 2016: What Girls Want Guys to Know (and Vice Versa) - Thinkjoust Tuesday #35." I asked you all to give me some feedback, and then I'd report today.

I found an interesting common theme in all of your comments.

Girls About Guys

This is a text message from my sister. I forwarded it to my email and took a screenshot.

Guys About Girls

I could easily address all of these concerns with many solutions. Instead, the solution can be found in only one word. I'll make it three so it will stick in your head better.

COMMUNICATE, DANG IT

That's right! All your confusion can be solved with ... COMMUNICATION!

Guys! 

Do you feel like you don't understand what a girl's thinking? Ask her about it! Communicate!

What if your girl's mad at you for something you don't understand? Say sorry to her! Act the big man and communicate!

What if you're worried the girl you're taking on a date won't like what you choose to do? Make several plans, and give her options! Communicate!

Girls!

If you like a guy, just tell him straight up! If you don't like a guy, just tell him straight up! Communicate!

Communicate, dang it!

I honestly believe open communication would resolve much of the 'drama' that occurs in the dating scene.

The thing is, nobody wants to communicate because everyone's worried about getting their feelings hurt. So we keep secrets and hide and act coy and then everyone gets confused. But dating is kind of like American football. When you play the game, there's a high chance you might get hurt.

There's no avoiding it.

So why are we cringing?

V-Day Week 2016: A Love Letter to Love (Poem)

Let's stop and pretend for a moment today.

If Love were a person, this is what I'd say.

Love! You're a person now? Well, whoop-de-doo

because I despise you. I really, really do.

My hate spilleth over, an overflowing cup

And I'll tell you why. Take a seat, listen up.

I am tired of the way you always lead me on.

You show me the world, and then it's all gone.

You tell me, "Don't worry, I'll find you someone better."

But that's not keeping my eyes from getting wetter.

You promise me another chance, you promise me a change,

you hand me cupid's arrow, place new targets on the range,

but no matter how well or precise I aim,

I miss all my shots, giving others the gain.

"You lose potentials fast!" you go ahead and say.

"Better luck next time, come back another day."

You know me by now, I've heard it all,

name me a duck, "Forever Alone" is my call.

No matter how many times I release my string,

when it comes to being single, I am the king.

You see what you do, Love? I am filled, prefire,

because you taunt me with unfulfilled desires.

I hate you, I want you to die, you're scum.

Sometimes I want you to go back where you're from!

But wait. Hold on. I didn't mean to yell.

Hear a few more things that I still need to tell.

I may hate you, Love, but I love you, too.

Let me tell you all about the good things you do.

You gave me warm hugs from my father and mom

during stormy days as we waited for calm.

You gave me siblings, who taught me some stuff

like when to be gentle, and when to be rough.

You gave me friends who always have my back

who defend me from sadness, pain, and attack.

You gave me strangers, who didn't care where I'd been,

who gave me a home when I asked for an Inn.

You taught me how to use you in kind

to release darkened shadows from my loved ones' minds,

and when all hope was lost from my eyes,

and I pierced the heavens with pleading cries,

petitioning God to come into view,

he only needed to send me you.

Oh, Love, I'm so grateful you're a person now.

I've wanted to chat, and I didn't know how.

Tried my hardest to thank you, by living with this power:

Give love to everyone, each and every hour.

If Love were a person, this is what I'd say.

But love isn't a person. So love someone today.

V-Day Week 2016: Why Dating is Superior to Job Hunting - Throwback Commentary #57

Hey there! This post is a commentary discussing the post I wrote on September 19, 2015. Click here to read the post from September!

Happy Valentines Day week! I figured even the throwback deserved a dating theme.

When you read the original post, you see how confused and frustrated I was about my future. Things have changed since then.

I am more confident in my future. I have some tentative plans regarding my career and educational prospects. I am breaking into the literary industry. I forged connections I hope will leapfrog me to success. In a few weeks, I hope to be able to report on the status of my endeavors.

The moral of the story is, no matter how bleak and confusing my future may seem, when I press forward through the fog, my path makes more sense.

Well, I guess that's only one of two morals. Though I've laid a plan for job-hunting, I am still just as clueless in regards to dating. I would now hazard that Dating is Inferior to Job-Hunting, completely cutting the feet out from under the crux of my previous argument.

Oh, well.

Hey there! This post is a commentary discussing the post I wrote on September 19, 2015. Click here to read the post from September!

V-Day Week 2016: Why Breaking Up is an Act of Love

For the remainder of this post, I will use the term 'breakup' to refer to any act that stalls a relationship's forward progress. A breakup traditionally refers to a severed relationship commitment, but my usage includes people who decide against pursuing further romantic possibilities with potential partners.

Breakups are hard. I remember one particular breakup that left me frankly pathetic. I consoled myself by eating an unhealthy amount of Zebra Cakes. My roommate came home one day to find me laying in a pile of empty boxes and plastic wrappers, enough to make an empty-box-plastic-wrapper snow angel.

"Why?" I asked my roommate.

He closed the door and pretended he hadn't seen me.

As you know from Monday's post, I've been on a lot of dates, but I've rarely been able to form a committed relationship. Sometimes, we decide to remain friends. Sometimes, she decides the relationship won't go anywhere. Sometimes, I decide the relationship won't go anywhere.

It can hurt when you or your partner end a romantic relationship, especially when you've put effort into making things work. In the case of my Zebra Cake breakup, I felt like I'd gone back to square one. I felt like I was stuck in traction. I felt like all the progress I'd made was futile. I felt abandoned, betrayed, and hurt.

I will admit that some breakups are more painful than they have to be, especially when a partner acts cruel or insensitive. However, I really do believe that most breakups are engineered with love in mind.

Some couples may try to make things work, but something keeps them from moving forward at an equal pace. The partners may have different senses of humor. They may have have different life goals. They may have opposing interests or beliefs. Maybe one partner thinks the other is super annoying. Either way, no matter how much people are willing to bend, someone may decide moving forward could be easier with someone else.

If someone doesn't feel equal or loved in a relationship, then it is time for a breakup. Maybe a partner feels they're pulling all the weight in the relationship. Maybe they feel they're not doing enough for the relationship. It doesn't matter, because no matter what you say to your partner when you break up with them, you convey a universal message.

"Look, we're not progressing forward like we should. We need to find people with whom we're more compatible. If we do, then we'll reach our final destination, maybe not together, but with someone else who pulls our same load."

When a girl breaks up with me, I know she's really telling me to find someone who fulfills my relationship needs in ways she can't. She doesn't hate or despise me. She wants me to be as happy as she hopes to be when she finds her equal.

That, my friends, is an act of love.

V-Day Week 2016: What Girls Want Guys to Know (and Vice Versa) - Thinkjoust Tuesday #35

Welcome to the blog post with the longest title ever, but you should have seen my original attempts. Here's an example.

V-Day Week 2016: In which I invite a discussion between guys and girls to determine which facts about each other the two genders wish they understood on an intimate level - Thinkjoust Tuesday Number Thirty-Five

BLUH.

If you managed to make it through two overly-long titles, then you deserve to make your voice heard.

I plan to use Saturday's post to write my thoughts about ...

1.) What girls wish guys knew.

2.) What guys wish girls knew.

However, I can only do this if you add to the discussion. Your comments are essential to helping me accurately portray the thoughts of your respective gender.

Say anything you want! Want to say nice things? Comment below or on social media! Do you want to vent your grievances about the opposite gender? Comment anonymously! Either way, your comments will be featured on Saturday's post.

Not sure what sort of stuff to say? Here's an example, something I want girls to know about me.

I understand that a lot of girls want to be chased, and I'm willing to chase. However, if I'm the only one putting in any effort, there will come a point when I give up on you. I believe a relationship should be built on mutual respect, trust, and equality. I don't want to chase you if you're just making yourself a prize to be won. That degrades my role in our relationship because I am made to feel inferior to you, and it degrades your role in our relationship because you become less of a person and more of an object of my desire.

There's my comment! Add your own, and I'll see you Saturday!

V-Day Week 2016: The Top 10 Pieces of Dating Advice I Hate

In honor of the week leading up to Valentine's Day, I have prepared a series of posts all about love and romance!

I've been single for close to four years now. Many people treat my situation like a disease, and they offer free advice about how I can rid myself of this irksome ailment. The promised 'cure' comes in the form of cliche phrases.

I dislike these 'cure-alls' enough that I wrote an exaggerated blog post about them! Let's take a look!

Note: I wrote these from my own perspective. Re-imagine them with you in mind!

"It's a numbers game."

Let me tell you something. In the six months after I came back home from my mission, I went on one hundred first dates. One. Hundred. That does not count second or third or even fifth dates. That does not count the 13 months I spent dating since then. In comparison, some of my male friends go on ten, maybe fifteen dates at the most in between relationships. TELL ME IT'S A NUMBERS GAME ONE MORE TIME.

"It's their loss."

Maybe it's my loss. Just stop and think about that for a second.

"Honesty is the best policy."

Sure thing! Next time I go on a blind date, and she asks me what my interests are, I'll tell her all about Dungeons and Dragons. Oh, does she also know I watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic? And let's be honest, if she's willing to accept me even then, just wait until she finds out I'm a blogger.

"Find people with similar interests."

Sure thing! I'll just join the Novel-Writing Blog-Posting Poetry-Penning Drum-Beating Uke-Strumming Ballad-Singing Poor-Acting Cartoon-Drawing Webcomic-Reading TV-Watching Video-Gaming Musical-Listening Fan Club just down the street! I love the NWBPPPDBUSBSPACDWRTVWVGMLFC SO MUCH.

"Opposites attract."

But ... you literally just told me to find people with similar interests. Like, literally SIX SENTENCES AGO. And what, pray tell, is my opposite? Is it someone shorter than me? Taller than me? Cooler than me? More muscular than me? More attractive than me? Someone with interests dissimilar to my own? What, exactly, is the interest opposite novel writing? I'm waiting!

"Go after what you want."

Well, now I don't know what I want! Do I want my exact opposite? Do I want someone with similar interests? Do I want someone who's honest with me, or someone who goes to the grave hiding their secrets? And maybe I'm less interested in what I want, and more interested in what I need. Ever think of that?

"There are plenty of fish in the sea."

You're absolutely right! But a majority of those fish aren't anywhere near me, and most of the rest aren't interested in my bait! Let's imagine a proper fisherman spending three hours leading his hooked catch toward the boat before his line snaps and the fish gets away. If you try to tell that fisherman there are plenty of fish in the sea, he will kill you. The fisherman doesn't care about what he might catch, he only cares about losing the catch he already had.

"You'll find her when you stop looking."

That doesn't make a dang lick of sense. Isn't the guy supposed to be the one initiating things? If I stop looking, I will literally stop going on dates.

"Being single is better anyway ..." (from a single person)

Oh, really. Then why were you whining about your recent break-up only last week. 

"Being single is better anyway ..." (from someone in a relationship) 

Break-up, then! What the heck are you waiting for?

And, my favorite bit of dating advice to hate ...

"If she wants you to kiss her, make her wait another week, and then kiss her."

For starters, how the heck am I supposed to know if she wants me to kiss her? And honestly, what does making her wait a week accomplish? Is it so her 'desire' for me will increase because I'm keeping her from what she wants? Well, let me tell you, I want a girl to come back to me for who I am, not for what I can offer.

Well, there you go! I hope you enjoyed chuckling with this post as much as I enjoyed writing it! I'll see you as we approach Valentine's Day!