V-Day Week 2016: Why Breaking Up is an Act of Love

For the remainder of this post, I will use the term 'breakup' to refer to any act that stalls a relationship's forward progress. A breakup traditionally refers to a severed relationship commitment, but my usage includes people who decide against pursuing further romantic possibilities with potential partners.

Breakups are hard. I remember one particular breakup that left me frankly pathetic. I consoled myself by eating an unhealthy amount of Zebra Cakes. My roommate came home one day to find me laying in a pile of empty boxes and plastic wrappers, enough to make an empty-box-plastic-wrapper snow angel.

"Why?" I asked my roommate.

He closed the door and pretended he hadn't seen me.

As you know from Monday's post, I've been on a lot of dates, but I've rarely been able to form a committed relationship. Sometimes, we decide to remain friends. Sometimes, she decides the relationship won't go anywhere. Sometimes, I decide the relationship won't go anywhere.

It can hurt when you or your partner end a romantic relationship, especially when you've put effort into making things work. In the case of my Zebra Cake breakup, I felt like I'd gone back to square one. I felt like I was stuck in traction. I felt like all the progress I'd made was futile. I felt abandoned, betrayed, and hurt.

I will admit that some breakups are more painful than they have to be, especially when a partner acts cruel or insensitive. However, I really do believe that most breakups are engineered with love in mind.

Some couples may try to make things work, but something keeps them from moving forward at an equal pace. The partners may have different senses of humor. They may have have different life goals. They may have opposing interests or beliefs. Maybe one partner thinks the other is super annoying. Either way, no matter how much people are willing to bend, someone may decide moving forward could be easier with someone else.

If someone doesn't feel equal or loved in a relationship, then it is time for a breakup. Maybe a partner feels they're pulling all the weight in the relationship. Maybe they feel they're not doing enough for the relationship. It doesn't matter, because no matter what you say to your partner when you break up with them, you convey a universal message.

"Look, we're not progressing forward like we should. We need to find people with whom we're more compatible. If we do, then we'll reach our final destination, maybe not together, but with someone else who pulls our same load."

When a girl breaks up with me, I know she's really telling me to find someone who fulfills my relationship needs in ways she can't. She doesn't hate or despise me. She wants me to be as happy as she hopes to be when she finds her equal.

That, my friends, is an act of love.

Why I think Prejudices Exist (A Visual Poem)

Ye Whom I Love

"The family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children." - The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Every time I think I've learned to let offenses slide, God throws some new offense in my way.
"Will you let this slide this time?" he seems to ask.
I'll admit, I am not doing so hot in this particular test. While I have dramatically improved in the art of forgiving others for offenses to myself, I haven't really had much recent opportunity to forgive others for offenses to people I love. That's what's really eating at me. You can insult me, disrespect me, hurt me, malign me, steal from me, lie to me, cheat me, abuse me, whatever. It may take some time, but I will forgive.
But if you do any of those things to someone I care about ... I'm struggling.

As the last part of the day, we had our weekly family home evening. We sang some hymns, ate some slightly burnt cookies, watched some Mormon messages, and played a remarkably ridiculous game called Fluxx. It's hard for me to describe what it's like, being back with my family again after two years. Even these simple things, like family night, bring me a lot of joy. It was hard for me to really appreciate these little things that I had before my 'rebirth' of sorts; now, I cherish every moment. In a couple of months, when I duck out again, I'll miss them even more.

Eagle Eye

3 Nephi 12:22 "...whosoever is angry with his brother shall be in danger..."

Upon my departure from Port Antonio a week back or so, I received a going away gift from the Galloway family. It was a pair of concrete eagles, which they formed by carving out a mold of sorts in a wooden plank and pouring the solution inside. Unfortunately, they've already proven quite fragile, breaking several times in transit.
Well, I foolishly left one of these eagles on the floor near my brother and I's closet. As I was eating my breakfast, bro came down and confessed that he'd broken another piece off.
My initial reaction was to breathe in through my teeth, that universal sign of displeasure. Of course, I quickly recognized that getting upset was silly, considering my poor choice of placement and how easy it is to break those things. I told bro he had nothing to worry about.
Well, in talking with him later in the day, I learned bro was still feeling guilty about the incident, not really believing I didn't have any beef with him. I suspect that, had I not succumbed to my initial anger and expressed that immediate disappointment, I might have saved him a lot of worry and grief. I'm sure the Savior's first reaction would have been forgiveness, not displeasure.

Most of the family was out of the house today, either in body or mind. With the time I had to myself, I was able to exercise some talents I haven't been able to in a while, beginning the process of editing my journal, pulling out some old Ukelele songs, and even dabbling in a little digital artistry. As I enjoyed exercising these beloved talents of mine, I was again struck by just how blessed I am to have any talents at all, much less the cornucopia with which God has blessed me.
I was pondering how, while I've always had an interest in the things I'm now good at, I wasn't really born with too many natural gifts and abilities. Every single ability I've gained, whether it be writing, singing, or something as simple as obedience, has been exercised like the weakest of muscles. I suppose that if I'd never spent any time slaving over sentence structures, or doodling in math class, or determining beforehand that I wanted to be like Christ, none of my talents, temporal, spiritual, or otherwise, would be at hand. Now that I'm a little more focused in reaching my final goal, I want to continually seek ways to use these talents I've practiced to help uplift and encourage those around me.