America is Tolerant? Accepting? Open-Minded? My Fanny. - Thursday Thought #12

Sometimes, I truly believe America is trying to be more accepting. I really do. I see social justice making great strides toward equality for all demographics. I see people growing more willing to discuss these issues on a large scale. I realize and accept that a lot of people oppose this sort of open love for others, but the fact that there's a discussion at all demonstrates that American has made a lot of progress.

But then junk like this happens.

Article Link

Yes, seriously, Asian kid in the advertisement on the right of the screenshot. Seriously.

Y'all should know by now I don't have much love for the Republican party (or any political parties, for that matter). I am definitely not a supporter of Donald Trump, and I'm aware of the allusions his own supporters make comparing the presidential candidate with Hitler.

At the same time, can we cut this woman some slack?

When I watch the video, I just can't help but feel like the gesture was completely innocuous. I've offered lazy waves before, merely raising my hand at a roommate as they're walking out the door. I'm sure, out of context, my lazy waving could look like a Nazi salute. At the same time, I'm not being filmed. No one has the opportunity to screenshot me and present me in the compromising situations.

So many people are so quick to jump on any opportunity to embarrass or ridicule individuals for simple mistakes, especially when they're being brave and putting themselves out there. I'm sure you've seen countless examples out there. I've seen examples from the comments section on this very blog.

A similar thing happened to Jeb Bush. If the man had ended his speech with a phrase like, "Thank you," nobody would have batted an eye. His awkward choice of words led to a wave of mockery.

And who remembers the infamous 'Dean Scream'? Taken in context, the scream fits in with the speech. It isn't at all awkward. But then people jumped at the chance to ridicule and mock him for it, taking it out of context and presenting him like he was a buffoon.

In my limited experience, I have learned that many people believe in the adage, "A good defense is a good offense." Rather than focus on their own mistakes and shortcomings, they attack others as a way to deflect attention from themselves. If everyone's laughing at the kid who got tripped and spilled milk all over himself, nobody's noticing the bully with severe daddy issues.

So my message today is simple. Let's stop immortalizing people's mistakes, especially when they're entirely innocent. If there's doubt, never ascribe malice to an action when it could easily be ascribed to stupidity.

American may have gain respect for groups, but we still have a long way to go in our respect for individuals.

Your Personal Beliefs Are Flawed - Thursday Thought #5

Yes, I'm a Mormon, and yes, I attend a University owned by the Mormons.

We Latter-Day Saints believe in keeping the Sabbath Day holy. This includes refraining from participating in our usual labors. In order to encourage others to avoid their own usual labors, we are encourage to avoid buying things on Sunday. After all, if we go to a restaurant or a store, then we're making someone else go to work when we believe nobody should have to on the Sabbath.

Further interpretation is left up to the individual, and differences sometimes lead to philosophical debates between members. For example, I recently bought something from an on-campus vending machine on Sunday, a frequent habit of mine, and one of my friends claimed I was breaking the Sabbath.

I owe my mentality to my circumstances. I've lived in the freshmen dorms, where eating a Sunday meal at the on-campus cafeteria is both encouraged and expected. The Missionary Training Center feeds their missionaries at a cafeteria, too, and people staff both places each and every day.

As for my friend, I can't say his circumstances. I don't know what paths he's taken to get a different understanding than me.

But that doesn't mean either of us are wrong.

Sometimes, our personal beliefs just don't suit others, no matter how much overlap already exists. The important thing is to respect each other's beliefs. As we learn more about each other, we may even find beliefs we want to call our own.

So, yes. Your personal beliefs are flawed, but that just means they're not perfect. But then again, it's not a competition. Why not work with others to find those flaws?

When I Care About the Opinions of Others - Response Saturday #16

I didn't get a lot of comments on this past week's thinkjoust, so maybe I need to come up with better topics? Who knows. We'll see. Either way, most of what I talk about today will be less of a response to your comments, and more of an outline of my own thoughts.

The question was, "When Should You Care About What Others Think?"

For starters, you have to be you first. I and many of my friends often ask each other for advice about how to act (including when we're trying to understand the opposite gender), but when we make a choice, we make it our own. Our decisions and the lives we lead are products of choice, of our own self-motivated spirit.

There comes times when other people criticize us for the choices we make, whether great or small. It is in these moments when we demonstrate our conviction to ourselves. If we change who we are because of someone else, then our conviction is weakened. Judgments, especially those which are unfounded, are not worth my time to consider.

Who am I am is how I act in both adversity and prosperity. What I believe is not necessarily who I am. As such, when someone questions my belief systems by expressing their own, I should carefully consider everything they say and then keep or discard the truth from it.

In a personal example, after I write a book, I cannot discard the opinions and criticisms of my fans. While not every criticism pointed at every creative work can be considered valid (I'm looking at you, internet trolls), I need to carefully consider those that are valid. The reviews for Ama's Watch (Amazon and Goodreads) have been enlightening and instructive for me as a writer, and I'm pleased to have such an eager and honest fan base. I have to care about their opinions.

Most importantly, I may not care about the opinions of others, but I need to care for others, regardless of their opinions. If I turn away someone's friendship or even companionship because we think, act, or look differently, then I am no better than the "judgmental" people I so "disdain."

This Week's Top Comments

Why You Can't Judge Groups as a Whole

I belong to a lot of different groups. I am a Mormon by religion. I belong to various groups of bloggers and writers. I am a walker, a Steventhusiast, a brony, and a Whovian based on the TV shows I like. I am both a video gamer and a tabletop gamer. All these groups barely scratch the surface of a very extensive list.

Of course, some of these groups are more prone to criticism and mockery than others. For example, I recently met an individual who discovered I was a brony. His initial response was to question my manhood. I questioned him and unearthed he'd previously roomed with a brony. His impression of this brony was less than favorable. As it was, upon learning of this vague connection between me and his former roommate, my new associate projected all his negative impressions on to me.

Therein lies the danger in assuming all members of a group act in the same manner. No one organization produces their members using a cookie cutter or an assembly line.

To illustrate this, I've decided to pick on Democrats, because I've done enough picking on Republicans in recent history.

Some people who dislike Democrats are quick to condemn the group. One might say, "Democrats are nothin' but a bunch of wing-flappin' moonbats!"

Harsh.

This disdain for Democrats might even bleed into personal social interactions. Imagine a conversation between strangers,

"Why, hello there! How are you?"

"Okay. Work's been pretty rough, but I'm getting through."

"Oh, I feel ya! The boss has been driving me crazy lately."

Both strangers feel good inside. We made common ground!

"So what's your job?"

"I was about to ask the same thing!"

Both strangers answer at the same time.

"I'm a fundraiser for the Democratic party."
"I'm a Republican political campaign manager."

Both strangers immediately engage in a team deathmatch.

The thing is, just because someone belongs to groups different than you own doesn't mean you can't or won't find common ground. Let me explain.

As the elephant represents the Republican party, so does the donkey represent the Democratic party. It's easy to malign Democrats by calling them "Bleeding heart liberal [donkeys]," but did you know that no two donkeys are exactly alike, either?

Let's simplify this and talk about breeds. Did you know the largest donkey in the world is a breed called American Mammoths? The smallest donkey breed is appropriately named Miniature. Bands of feral donkeys roam the Australian plain. Poitou donkeys have hair long enough to turn into dreadlocks. And Pega donkeys just look super cool.

You may be tempted to judge or deride someone based on a group to which they belong. But frankly, no one person is defined by any one group. No one group has the power to de-individualize a person.

The sad thing is, believing in the de-individualization of people within groups created the twin problems of sexism and racism.

So maybe you can judge groups as a whole. But I've made the decision that I won't.

What I Think About Positive Racism - Response Saturday #14

This last Tuesday introduced us to the question, "Can Positive Racism Exist?"

The comments I received were insightful. It's hard to argue against the fact that differences exist between races, no matter how inconsequential or small. However, I do believe problems can occur if we assume those overall racial differences apply to everyone within that racial group.

As an example, I might say that those pursuing an English Major are mostly female, while those pursuing an Engineering Major are mostly male. It's easy to make the blanket statement that 'all English Majors are women,' or 'all Engineering majors are men,' but in most instances, that is not the case.

Now, obviously, if I told you I was an English major, you wouldn't automatically think me a woman. However, such things become more difficult when it comes to race.

We discussed in Tuesday's post about how studies show that, on average, black men can jump higher than white men. Regardless, I think it would be inappropriate to assume or make comment about this apparent racial discrepancy without any prior knowledge about the individual's abilities.

For example, if I was playing pick-up basketball, and I picked the token black guy because 'he jumps higher than the rest of us,' that would be wrong. I would be assuming something about someone. His race may produce better jumpers than everyone else, but that doesn't mean this pick-up basketballer is himself an example of that.

In that sense, we can say that our man should not immediately be placed under a blanket statement because of his race.

We may be able to acknowledge statistics as they are--that is, mere statistics--but we can't ever put individuals under the blanket of a statement. That goes for race, religion, gender, anything that classifies someone as a mere part of a group. When we throw people under the same blanket, we risk tearing away their individuality and what makes them them, as opposed to acknowledging them as a unique person in their own right.

So, sure. Maybe [American Minority] are better than [American white people] at [task], but that doesn't mean you should assume as such. Maybe your [American minority] [coworker/friend/relative] isn't actually good at [task] and wants to be known for being good at something else. Who knows? 

Either way, get to know them as a person before casting judgments based on the group(s) to which they belong. 

This Week's Top Comments

Can Positive Racism Exist? - Thinkjoust Tuesday #45

About a month ago, one of my good friends sent me a text message asking me a shotgun of questions all about racism. These questions ended up becoming the center of an hour-long discussion.

During this discussion, several of my colleagues threw around the phrase 'positive racism.' It was argued that certain races demonstrate a statistical propensity for certain activities. Examples included black NBA players being able to jump higher than their white counterparts, and Asians scoring higher on their math assessments on average. In the end, a majority of the participants in the discussion agreed that positive racism isn't a bad thing.

I am curious to see if the participants in this thinkjoust will come to a different conclusion.

I plan to use Saturday's post to offer my own opinion, as well as offer my thoughts on the discussion in the comments section.

I look forward to hearing what you all have to say about positive racism. Or, if you'd like, feel free to respond to the other questions brought up in the previously-mentioned discussion.

"Do you think it's okay to be a racist if you admit or acknowledge that you are one?"

"Can you be racist in a non-hateful way?"

"Is all racism bad?"

16 Personalities - Why You Should Learn About Yourself

Introduction

About a year ago, I went onto 16Personalities.com and took their test. I discovered the test considered me a Mediator.

I decided to return to the test during the middle of last month and discovered that my results had changed. The test then considered me a Protagonist.

Test Description

The test is based around the concept that there are 16 distinct personality types. Each type is represented by four different ratios.

The first ratio is extraverted (E) vs. introverted (I). The very first aspect of your personality that defines you is how you interact with others. Are you someone who thrives being by yourself, or do you like being around others?

The second ratio is intuitive (N) vs. observant (S). This ratio defines you by asking how you see the world and which types of information you focus on. An intuitive individual relies on imagination to come to decisions, while an observant individual focuses on facts. Are you someone who likes to turn to possibilities, or someone who likes to turn to what they know for certain?

The third ratio is thinking (T) vs. feeling (F). This ratio determines how one comes to conclusions and responds to their emotions. Thinking individuals rely on logic and rational arguments, while feeling individuals trust their heart. Are you someone who follows trains of thought to their natural conclusions, or someone who relies more on gut instinct when making decisions?

The fourth ratio is judging (J) vs. prospecting (P) This ratio is centered around how you organize and execute the details of your life. Judging individuals are more strategic in their plans, while prospecting individuals are flexible in their plans. Are you a planner, or do you go with the flow?

A fifth 'ratio' helps demonstrate our own personal confidence levels, but is not considered primary.

So the idea is, once you can identify which trait in each ratio is more dominant within your personality, then you can know which personality type you are.

Example

Let's say someone considers themselves an introvert, who focuses more on details than speculation. They also make sure to consider every possible option before making a conclusion, but they're willing to make changes if something interrupts their original plans.

If that matched your description, congratulations! You're an ISTP, also known as a Virtuoso.

What's the Point?

"Cool, dude," you may ask. "Why are you telling me all this? You get a sponsorship or something?"

No, actually. See, I'm trying to build Change and Cherish Blog as a place where different people can come together and respect different opinions, ideas, and beliefs.

I think the biggest obstacle to keeping an open mind about these sorts of things is believing that others think in a manner that is incorrect. Perhaps this may be true in some psychological cases, but a majority people don't think incorrectly. They just think differently.

I linked to this article already, but the page about Energy (Intuitive vs. Observant) outright states that intuitive individuals struggle to understand observant individuals, and vice versa. And I quote from the sixth paragraph, "[Intuitive types] may even think that [Observant types are] materialistic, unimaginative, and simplistic, and [Observant types] may see their Intuitive conversation partner as impractical, naive, and absent-minded."

When you understand who you are through your own personality, you also learn about your own weaknesses, which are, in fact, other people's strengths. Even if you can't agree with the other person, understanding them will nonetheless lead to mutual respect.

We need more of that nowadays.

IN GOD WE TRUST Follow-Up - Does It Really Matter?

This last Tuesday, I asked what everyone thought about the phrase "In God We Trust." You can read all about it here.

My Personal Views

I am a Christian of the Mormon variety. I believe in God, and in God I certainly trust. However, I can see why some people might not be too happy about the phrase appearing all over their coins and federal buildings. As it is, I think both sides of the debate have a point.

Argument for keeping 'In God We Trust'

Does it really matter what it says on our coins and federal buildings? In regards to coins, I never even look at the details of the dang things. It's not like you look at a coin and stare at the phrase 'In God We Trust' with barely-contained fury before handing it over to a cashier to buy a candy bar. 

And let's be honest here, Christianity is the dominant religion of the United States. True, Christianity has so many splinter factions that no one Christian religion dramatically dominates the rest. But hey, with all of Christianity's powers combined, they wouldn't form Captain Planet, but they would form one clear religious majority in the United States. 

Given that the United States is a democratic republic, there are more people who believe in God than people who don't. Therefore, if the phrase 'In God We Trust' is supposed to represent at least a majority of our citizens, then it continues to. And consider that our country's foundation was built upon religious freedom. It makes sense for us to acknowledge that in some way. Why not the pieces of metal nobody really looks at anymore?

Argument against keeping 'In God We Trust' 

Does it really matter what it says on our coins and federal buildings? They could put Hillary Clinton on the quarter and I probably wouldn't even notice until someone hashtagged about it on the Twitters and Instagrams. And based on my recent studies of trending topics, that trend would last for three, four hours tops before everyone grew more interested in the latest One Direction music video.

So if we were to change the phrase on the coin to a more universal phrase, like E Pluribus Unum, would you really notice or care? I mean, it's not like you really need some materialistic reminder of your religious beliefs. If you absolutely need one, carry a Bible or a clerical collar.

And seeing as how the United States has a rich history of welcoming others into the country who believe in deities and practices other than God and traditional Christian rituals, wouldn't a phrase that represents the collective American populace be more suitable to put on general government property? And wouldn't a statement that favors no religion better represent the concept of religious freedom? And who cares if nobody looks at the coins, I still know the phrase is there.

My Final Thoughts

In the end, I'm not convinced it really matters. I'm not going to get up in arms if we remove 'In God We Trust' from coins and government buildings, but I'm certainly not going to try and change it. I will say, if I wasn't religious or even Christian, I doubt the phrase would offend me. There are so many other, more important battles to fight.

This Week's Top Comments

The Theory of the "Only Sane Person" and What It Means for Politics, Relationships, and Opinions

One of my favorite articles on TvTropes.org is Only Sane Man, more accurately described as Only Sane Person.

The concept is actually pretty simple. In a fictional setting, you may have a cast of characters who are all nuts or totally bonkers. Then you have Bob. There is nothing interesting or notable about Bob, save for the fact he's the only person aware of how INSANE everything is around him. He is the Only Sane Man.

The Only Sane Person exists in real life, too. The thing is, the Only Sane Person is more a state of mind than an actual identification. More often than not, YOU think you're the Only Sane Person. Remember that friend who always questions the intelligence of someone's zany stunt? Or the sibling who prefers to watch your family execute those wacky shenanigans than actually participate?

DISCLAIMER: This picture is a dramatic representation and not an accurate portrayal of my friend group.

Come on, friend, you may think. Yeah, this zany stunt may be somewhat dangerous, but think about how much FUN you're missing out on! 

Or maybe it's with your family. Come on, Sibling. These wacky shenanigans may embarrassing to you, but think of the memories we're making!

Because you have good reasons for acting and thinking the way you do, it only makes sense that your friends or family members who act and think differently are the insane ones. After all, you are who you are because of a series of very logical actions and conclusions.

And thus we see the problem with modern-day politics (and everything else, for that matter).

I genuinely believe that every presidential candidate thinks they're the Only Sane Person running for office. They have spent their lives building belief systems about American policies, and after much thought, conclude that their opinions are the most right. They go to debates thinking, How can anyone not agree with me? Everything I say makes perfect sense!

But everyone thinks their belief systems are the most correct. That's why people get so angry over politics and religion and the like. The way I view things makes the most sense! Why don't you agree with me? How can you not agree with me? YOU MUST BE CRAZY.

The Only Sane Person mentality is a major flaw in our collective thinking. If we are prone to assuming everyone else is insane, then we are unable to foster understanding and acceptance.

LISTEN to EVERYONE. Try to see both sides of every argument. Give everyone a chance to speak. Don't shut people down or undermine their opinions. If we can all stop thinking like we're the Only Sane Person, then maybe the contention and rancor so prevalent in this society can finally die the death for which I'm hoping.

What I Think About Beyoncé's Formation

I published the most polarizing thinkjoust in history this past Tuesday. After reading all of your comments, I came to several conclusions.

I have watched that video several times, and I cannot see how the video promotes violence against police officers. I don't think the police officers in the video even serve as antagonists.

Let's look at the controversial police officer scene, shot by shot.

We have our hooded black dancer busting some moves.

We see him from behind the cops' perspective.

They stand in a line.

The dancer throws up his arms, as if to say, "What now?"

The cops raise their own arms, notably lifting no weapons.

Notice how both the dancer and the cops have their arms up. This scene actually suggests a level of camaraderie between all participants.

The camera pans over some graffiti.

If anything, I feel like this scene was anti-police brutality, not anti-police. The camera angles and the imagery gives me the feeling that Beyoncé was trying to promote healthier relationships between police officers and black people who feel oppressed.

So what does this teach us?

In the end, I, too, admire the messages Beyoncé is delivering. The scene with the police officers is but a small portion of the complete music video. Most of the lyrics serve to remind black people about some of the issues and controversies surrounding their fight for civil equality. Among others, Beyoncé challenges the assertions of many who claim that black people are less attractive than other races. She challenges anyone who blindly accepts the history of black oppression. She invites all of her black peers to rise and stand with her, producing the eponymous 'Formation.'

None of these things are bad. After all, don't most people desire racial equality and understanding? As it is, I don't understand how these messages are offensive. Either way, this whole 'controversy' raises some good points.

We, as a nation, draw boundary lines. If someone takes a stand on any issue, someone else is going to perceive them as an enemy. Beyoncé's music video was a case in point. 

"What? She's pro-black?" some people seemed to say. "And she has portrayals of white police officers in her music video? Obviously, she's anti-police! Even worse, she's advocating violence against the police! Beyoncé is a monster!"

No.

Because people can't see beyond the boundary lines, hatred and ignorance fester in our society. Just because I'm Christian doesn't mean I'm anti-Gay. I would go so far to say that I'm not anti-anything. But many people assume, because of my differing beliefs and lifestyle, that I am their enemy. 

The only way for our society to gain true equality is when we are able to listen to and accept the various viewpoints of every single individual. We may not agree with everything everyone says. At the very least, we can accept the fact that if our individual perspective is true to us, then true are the individual perspectives of everyone else to themselves.

So, yes. Beyoncé is proud of her heritage, but I am also proud of my own heritage. That righteous pride deserves to be praised, not maligned.

Stop looking for enemies.

This Week's Top Comments

Why I Own My Interests

Throughout the history of Change and Cherish Blog, I have admitted I have a variety of interests some claim are embarrassing. Two particular interests stand out for their associated stereotypes.

Fans of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic are often portrayed as fat, unhygienic, socially incompetent deviants. These social outcasts only have jobs so they can buy crates of frilly pink merchandise to haphazardly toss about their home.

I try to live apart from the stereotype.

Then there is Dungeons & Dragons, a term used to loosely identify different tabletop role-playing games I play every week. Fans of these games are often described as pale, weedy, sweaty guys who calculate their chances of real-life success with percentage decimals and talk in high-pitched nasally tones that drive figurative nails into the literal coffin that was once your head. 

My hardcore group of tabletop gamers try to live apart from this stereotype as well.

I have been stereotyped my whole life because of my interests, whether it's my entertainment choices, my country, my personality, or my faith and religion. Living as a white Mormon in Jamaica for two years certainly offered me a lot of interesting experiences.

Many people criticize others for their association with certain groups. Racism and sexism are examples. Animosity between strangers belonging to different sports teams is another. Any disgust directed toward certain 'labels' serves to suggest society has become highly critical of entire swathes of people because of a reliance on said labels.

But the thing is, I'm proud of what I'm interested in.

Because of my unique hodgepodge of knowledge spanning multiple cultures, I am an individual. 

Think about it. How many people do you know who exactly match the description of myself as presented in this blog post? I may be considered a 'sheep' in some circles, blindly abiding by the identifications required by certain groups, but then I'm being judged by only one of my interests. 

I am defined by my whole sum.

Yeah, it may be weird that I spend an evening a week rolling dice to aid my imaginary dwarf kill imaginary were-witches. But if someone took the time to know how I feel about the hobby, as opposed to making judgments about my lifestyle, then they might realize I'm not that nasally. I don't claim that everyone who talks to me about Dungeons & Dragons will like it. At the same time, I disbelieve that preconceived judgments have any place in our world.

My challenge for you today is simple. If you meet someone new this week, ask them about their more obscure interests. Ask that person how they found those interests. Ask that person why they have those interests.

Let's not be ignorant about each other.

Tolerance: Catholic Mass

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. We're nick-named Mormons for brevity.

For two years of my life, I lived in Arizona and Jamaica, teaching people about my beliefs and inviting them to come to my church to learn more. I would even occasionally go to other people's churches to see how they worshiped.

When my brother-in-law invited me to go with him to a Catholic mass on Christmas Eve, I jumped at the chance.

Now, based on my experiences, Catholicism is a pretty maligned religion. Despite the age of the feud between protestants and Catholics, I've found that many protestants have a hard time letting go of the prejudice they feel against Catholicism. I've heard many individuals criticize Catholics and their faith. I've even heard people claim that Catholics aren't Christian at all.

Well, that last one is just ridiculous. One look at the Stations of the Cross convinced me to their Christianity.

And you know, I'll be honest. I don't subscribe to every tenet of the Catholic faith. I don't believe everything they teach. But by golly, Catholics are good people. As I sat in their worship service, I felt their love and devotion for the Savior. I felt their happiness and joy. I felt their sincerity.

I propose that all hatred and judgement could be eliminated from the world if we, as a human race, sought to understand points of view other than our own.

How often do you criticize a group of people before seeing how they conduct themselves?

Why I think Prejudices Exist (A Visual Poem)

Ignorance and Understanding at a Deaf Christmas Party

Luke 6:27 - "But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you ..."

A couple of years ago, I didn't know anything about Deaf people.

I didn't know their language. I didn't know of their rich creative culture, including in their storytelling, art, and even music. I didn't know their struggles. I didn't know their pains. I didn't know how oppressed they feel.

I didn't know how to approach a Deaf person on the street. I didn't know the best way to speak to them. I didn't know the social faux pas I might accidentally commit.

I didn't know their culture. I didn't know they hold events and parties, form gatherings and groups away from hearing society. I didn't know how they did simple things. How do they know when someone has rung their doorbell? What sort of jobs are people willing to give them? What struggles occur between hearing parents of Deaf children, and Deaf parents of hearing children?

A whole world I knew nothing about.

Now, two years later, I know so much more about Deaf culture and the wonderful, colorful people found within. My increased knowledge and understanding of the group was made manifest when my friend and I attended a Deaf Christmas party.

Because I've been studying ASL and Deaf culture, I was able to speak with people and understand them. I was able to appreciate the beauty of their language and their cultural norms. There was one point when lights started flashing on the gymnasium walls, and I remembered that meant someone wanted to make an announcement. Yelling or clapping for everyone's attention doesn't cut it.

There I stood, in the midst of a culture I was only recently ignorant of, an entire world existing around me of which I was unaware.

This only made me realize how ignorant I am of other cultures.

How much do you know about Deaf people? I doubt you'll really understand much until you get on their level.

How much do you know about other cultures?

Why Guilty Pleasures Don't Define

How to Define Yourself - Dallin H. Oaks

What I spent my money on yesterday.

Whenever I go on dates, I make sure to spill my guilty pleasures early so as to not prompt any surprises later. Probably the two most embarrassing things about me is that I like the show My Little Pony: Frienship is Magic,  and that I play Dungeons and Dragons and other similar role-playing games. I've been pleasantly surprised that most of my dates haven't outright shunned me for my confessions, though I have experienced the playful mockery that follows such interests.

When it comes to these interests, though, I often find I struggle to fully connect with those who share them with me, with OBVIOUS EXCEPTIONS. However, for the most part, I constantly find myself frustrated with fandoms as a whole. It's only been recently when I've really discovered why.

I, for one, never define myself, as a person, by these fandoms. Yes, I may say something like, "I am a brony," or, "I am a Halfling Lich Warlock Bard Saturday mornings," but those things aren't me. If I didn't have these things, I would be no less and no different of a person than I am now. My value would not change. I would still be the creative, enthusiastic, rocking dude I still am. My free time and, to a lesser extent, money might be spent in different ways, but I would still be me.

However, I have discovered many people in various fandoms who define themselves according to their similar associations. I'll use a brony example. I have witnessed people saying how the 'criticism' placed on the show by nay-sayers is difficult to live with, but that they've become stronger for it. "My Little Pony changed my life," they might say. "I don't know where I'd be without it. I was in a dark place before I started watching the show."

... Seriously?

I'm not trying to blast the good feelings people have about this show, or any other show they feel similar connections to--after all, I watch the show myself, quite shamelessly--but a kid's show originally targeted toward little girls should not be the entire basis of who you are and where you are today. This show (and other shows people say changed their life) is not a religion.

And, personally, being a Mormon myself, I have a hard time feeling sympathy for people who speak out about bullying or whatever, especially when the worst their show or hobby receives is a jab by Jerry Springer or a mocking skit performed by Studio C. I was at Salt Lake Comic Con last year (click link), and guess what? I didn't see a single person picketing the geeks getting herded into the convention center. I didn't see anyone calling any of the cosplayers and larpers names or insults. If negative media attention gets you down, then don't watch it! And if you have a personal bully in your life, well, let's be honest. Some of you watch shows for little girls. If you didn't want to get bitten by a snake, you shouldn't have slathered yourself with mayonnaise and sat down in its nest. You knew what you were sitting on when you slathered yourself with mayonnaise.

On the flip side, I went to Salt Lake at another point last year (click link), and what do you know. My real defining 'fandom,' if you can call it that, the religion upon which I have based my entire moral structure and code, the reason why I have to stop and ponder my actions before I do act, was being viciously persecuted by people who drove who knows how many hours to give me a piece of their mind. If criticism motivates you to stay true to something, then come to the Conference Center this April. I might just buy you lunch.

All in all, though, I think the point to this rant of mine is that, no matter what media you like, I sincerely doubt God wants you to define yourself by it. True, I still say, when asked, that, "I am a brony," but what makes me truly swell up with pride is when I can confidently say, "I am a Mormon, and I believe in Jesus Christ." In the end, ponies and dice may fade away, and years from now, I may wonder why I ever liked stuff like that. In the end, if modern media had never thrived, who would we be?

If something were to strip away everything you ever did, had ever known, or ever had, and you were left floating on a sea of nothingness ... who would you be?

Who are you?

Be sure to comment below!

The Day Dawn is Breaking

Alma 30:44: "...The scriptures are laid before thee, yea, and all things denote there is a God, yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator."

I have come to recognize something very important regarding the way I view those of other denominations. I find myself a very tolerant and open-minded person when it comes to talking about other faiths, even going so far as to defend them if someone even idly criticizes them, but sometimes, there just comes a point when I am the most intolerant and close-minded individual in the group. This leads my comments sounding quite aggressive and judgmental, presenting the impression that, on the inside, I have nothing but scorn for those of my brothers and sisters who are reaching out for Christ in the best way they know how. In all honesty, I have nothing but love and admiration for those of other faiths, who, like me, are fighting to stand strong when so many people stand for nothing at all. I want to be able to talk about other faiths in the way the Savior would, and refrain from taking the 'easy way out' by resorting to base - rather than intelligent - commentary.

I had the opportunity to travel, along with a few select members of my family, to a hiking trail overlooking the Colombia River Gorge. Funnily enough, as we approached the overlook, we came upon a large group standing where my parents had designed to go. Upon seeing us, a woman called out, "I'm sorry, but I don't suppose you can do us a favor?"
Mom is always eager to help. "Of COURSE we would love to take pictures for you!"
"Actually, we're scattering ashes and would like a moment."
Oooo... awkward.
So, we all beat a hasty retreat to give the group some time before doubling back to try again. The second time, the group had vanished, which allowed us to really breathe in the wonderful sight that lay before us. The picture fails to really capture the full extent of the beauty and grandeur the overlook has to offer, but it is enough.
As we stood there, just admiring God's creation, the hymn "How Great Thou Art" came to mind. I couldn't resist launching into the first verse, and, sure enough, the other members of my family joined as well, turning the simple family outing into a sacred, special moment. I was so grateful for that opportunity to be there, awkward moment and all.