What's YOUR Love Language? - Thinkjoust Tuesday #58

I made an active decision last year to not write this sort of thinkjoust. After all, everyone talks about this stuff, right?

Then I remembered that the world doesn't revolve around me or my group of friends. "Huh," I thought. "Maybe other people will appreciate this sort of post!" So here it is.

Love languages are the ways individuals with different personalities express their appreciation for the people around them. Not everyone offers or responds to acts of love in the same way, and sometimes, this can cause friction and tension between two individuals who otherwise love each other very much.

Just as an example, I had a friend who loved to do things for me. He'd make my bed, make me breakfast, and even do my dishes. Rather than be thankful for his acts of service, I felt somewhat irritated. After all, he was giving his time and effort on things I could do for myself, and I felt extremely lazy and unproductive around him. I told him I was feeling guilty, and he just laughed me off.

At the same time, he felt unappreciated by me because I wasn't expressing love in the ways he did. I wasn't about to do his dishes, but I loved to hug him and offer him compliments.

The thing was, neither of us really felt appreciated by the other person because we were expressing love in ways that the other person didn't respond to well. The thing was, we were both expressing love, and that is the most important part.

Once we learn how other people express love, we can learn to respond to them in kind. For example, once my friend and I realized we were just having a love language disconnect, we worked at serving/complimenting each other, respectively (he still wasn't super into hugs, but I give them out like candy, so it balanced out).

Anyway, the point is, if you don't know your love languages, why not find them out?

I recommend this link here, which takes you to a test that analyzes your love language profile. Give it a shot, and then post your results in the comments! I'll be sure to be back this Saturday to talk about your results and what it means for the future of Change and Cherish.

See you then!

How I Use My Time (And How I Want to Improve) - Response Saturday #20

This post is in response to this past Tuesday's thinkjoust.

I would argue that I am not a lazy person. Let me break down my average schedule for this past semester.

When I wake up in the morning, I go to my part-time job at Future House Publishing. In the evening, I go to work one of my other two part-time jobs. I 'donate' plasma twice a week. In addition, I work on online coursework, work on creative projects like my novels and this blog, and even throw in some exercise here and there. When I'm finished with all that, I'm afforded a few hours of free time a day.

The question is, what do I do with that free time? Lately, I've been playing video games.

The thing is, I swore off video games for a while there. I started back up this summer because one, all I was doing was working (which meant I was getting burnt out), and two, I wanted to be more informed about narratives in video games, seeing as how becoming a writer in that industry is a possible future career path for me.

The thing is, when I say I use my free time to play video games, I mean all of it. When I'm home, away from work and projects and school, I'm either eating, sleeping, or gaming. That's it.

In the meantime, my impressive stack of books I have yet to read grows instead of shrinking. I've still mastered only one or two chords on my guitar. I haven't figured out how to properly fly a drone yet. I haven't made a YouTube video in months. Except for when I do some one-on-none basketball, I don't go out to appreciate the beautiful summer weather, or take a drive, or do anything physically engaging.

Again, I don't think I'm lazy. But I'm not doing enough with the time I'm given. I can only 'research' video game stories for so long before I'm just wasting time.

So what about all those questions I asked on Tuesday?

Basically, I balance my time between 'working' (which includes my employment(s), my online 'business,' and other responsibilities like school) and video games. As it is, I feel like I have become a slave to routine. I don't do anything because I want to, or because I am reaping true satisfaction from it. Instead, I'm just mindlessly doing the next thing on my check list.

An easy solution would be to take a leaf from Casey's book, but I need modern conveniences for a large variety of reasons, including my work and other things. Sure, what helps me produce blog posts (the internet) may also distract me from improving myself, but the solution may be better time management on my part as opposed to blaming the machine. If I'm being distracted, that's pure user error right there. After all, I know activities that better myself offer the most value in my life.

Either way, the most important thing for me to remember is that life is about living, about loving what you're doing every day. If all I'm doing is working toward goals, always seeking the next 'ending,' then I fail to live in the moment and enjoy what I'm doing. I need to be happy no matter what I haven't accomplished, be it a novel, my education, or even finding a future spouse. I can be happy, right now.

And that's all that matters.

Your Personal Beliefs Are Flawed - Thursday Thought #5

Yes, I'm a Mormon, and yes, I attend a University owned by the Mormons.

We Latter-Day Saints believe in keeping the Sabbath Day holy. This includes refraining from participating in our usual labors. In order to encourage others to avoid their own usual labors, we are encourage to avoid buying things on Sunday. After all, if we go to a restaurant or a store, then we're making someone else go to work when we believe nobody should have to on the Sabbath.

Further interpretation is left up to the individual, and differences sometimes lead to philosophical debates between members. For example, I recently bought something from an on-campus vending machine on Sunday, a frequent habit of mine, and one of my friends claimed I was breaking the Sabbath.

I owe my mentality to my circumstances. I've lived in the freshmen dorms, where eating a Sunday meal at the on-campus cafeteria is both encouraged and expected. The Missionary Training Center feeds their missionaries at a cafeteria, too, and people staff both places each and every day.

As for my friend, I can't say his circumstances. I don't know what paths he's taken to get a different understanding than me.

But that doesn't mean either of us are wrong.

Sometimes, our personal beliefs just don't suit others, no matter how much overlap already exists. The important thing is to respect each other's beliefs. As we learn more about each other, we may even find beliefs we want to call our own.

So, yes. Your personal beliefs are flawed, but that just means they're not perfect. But then again, it's not a competition. Why not work with others to find those flaws?

Shattered

Matthew 5:22 - "...whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire."

I made a big mistake yesterday.

My actions are not justified. But I could feel a lot worse about it. That's what worries me the most.

I think now would be appropriate to remind my readership, however small it may be, that this blog is, essentially, my journal. I may share some very personal things sometimes, some things that will hurt to share. I choose to share these things. My reasons are numerous, but the top are, one, I want to be honest with myself and face my weaknesses, and two, I want to deter others from making the same mistakes I have, especially once I know the cost.

I'm pretty bruised right now. Not physically. Emotionally, spiritually, mentally ... you've been there.

Now, there were obviously many positive notes about yesterday. To say otherwise would be entirely foolish. I had the opportunity to help bless the sacrament. I had the opportunity to receive forgiveness for my sins and weaknesses by renewing my baptismal covenant. I had the opportunity to sit in on a youth class and bear my testimony. I had the opportunity to take bro and our mutual friend out on an errand for the Lord, bonding throughout. I had the opportunity to really get some serious work done on my apparently massive journal project. Even in the storms that arise in my life, there is always something for which to be grateful. I'm even grateful for that simple fact. I'm also taking solace in the old phrase, "If your life is going really well, then either something really bad is about to happen, or you're doing something wrong." There's truth there.

ROFL (with Added Commentary)

1 Corinthians 6:19 - "Know ye not ... ye are not your own?"

I had a real struggle with being humble yesterday, a fight I'm happy to report I won. I only do my internship twice a week, all-day Monday, all-day Thursday, and so today was the first time I was actually able to write an article.
Well! I wrote one article, and I was bombarded with praise from all sides. My superiors were so impressed, they gave me another article to write, and once I finished, I endured another series of compliments. Of course, my superiors had suggestions for things I needed to change or fix--I certainly didn't write a flawless article in one draft--but, regardless, I found it would have been very easy to get a puffed head over everything. Thankfully, I was able to keep in mind the simple fact that God gave me every bit of writing talent I have. If I take any credit for any amount of talent I have, all I can say is that I exercised my agency to practice something God already gave me.

My family invited a whole heap of Mormons over for a party right after I got back from my internship, and I wasn't really looking forward to the experience all that much. As you recall from my post from yesterday, large groups of people still wonk me out, so I was worried I would be sitting there, awkwardly unable to participate or contribute to the surrounding conversation. 

Well, to my relief, some of the people who were invited to the party were actually kindred spirits, and our discussion on all things geek brought me much relief. They actually invited me to participate in a good old fashioned Fourth of July game today: Call of Cthulhu. I'm gearing up to check that out in just a few hours. It's funny how God tosses us those little tender mercies.

Hey there! I wrote a commentary about this post on January 15, 2015. Click here to read!