Thinking Differently is NOT Thinking Wrong

Our new Change and Cherish mascots make their official debut in this final scheduled Friday post! I'm calling them 'The Light-bulb People' for now. They're supposed to represent the concept of thought, inspired by the cartoons which often portray light-bulbs over the heads of characters after they have an idea.

As you can see above, today's two light-bulbs emit different-colored lights. This demonstrates that some people think differently than yourself. Yes, you, faithful reader. And, of course, I'm here to say that that doesn't make them wrong.

As I discussed in the 16 Personalities post, everyone has a different personality, and because of this, everyone has a different filter through which they view the world. For example, one person may be opposed to drinking caffeine, but another person may absolutely love to drink it. One of the most all-time popular Change and Cherish Blog posts revolves around tattoos. I mention in the post that Mormons don't generally get tattoos, but I don't think I'd get a tattoo even if I wasn't Mormon. I don't even like people writing on me, so a tattoo on my own flesh would drive me nuts. However, that doesn't mean I think every person who has tattoos are crazy or idiotic. And I shouldn't either way.

The same goes for philosophies, politics, and even religious beliefs. Too often we find people on different sides of a debate, unwilling to consider or seek compromises. I, myself, have been guilty of assuming a strong stance against something or other and refusing to see an issue from the other side. When we think about things like gun control, the best solution for all parties can rarely be found among extremist sides.

Even social interactions can be viewed through different lenses. Just because you like to go around and party and be surrounded by people, doesn't mean your introverted friends can't thrive doing something by themselves. They aren't wrong for liking their alone time.

I only bring this up because I believe many people often think to themselves, mostly unconsciously, "If you think or act differently than me, then you're wrong." Even worse, people sometimes go so far as to assume someone 'different' is automatically an antagonist to their beliefs and lifestyle. As an example, just because I'm a Mormon, doesn't mean I despise all other religions. Just because I'm a man, doesn't mean I despise feminists. Just because I'm a millennial, doesn't mean I like Bernie Sanders.

If I am careful to consider the fact that nobody has to be wrong, then I often find more peace and kindness in my daily life. 

I hope that everyone finds the same.

You Can't Go Through Life Without Hurting People

No, not that kind of hurting people.

In my personal experience, I've found that the modern usage of the word heartbreaker has a negative connotation. Modern heartbreakers are people who try to get with as many different partners as they can. You're are of the appropriate synonyms.

However, the original usage of heartbreaker actually had positive connotations. A heartbreaker was considered to be quite the catch. When the heartbreaker finally chose a significant other, many individuals would be 'heartbroken,' not because the heartbreaker did anything to them, but because there wasn't enough of the heartbreaker to go around.

Yes, I'm aware many girls think all guys are tools. Many guys find girls nothing but promiscuous. But I do believe modern heartbreakers exist in this world. Those people cannot go through life without hurting people, albeit unintentionally.

"Ok, fine," you say. "So heartbreakers can't go through life without hurting people, but I can guarantee I'm not a heartbreaker. Nobody likes me."

You know, random reader, sometimes I feel the same way. But take a peek at this.

I once read a sentiment written by some wise individual that was posted to Facebook following its beginnings on tumblr. I'll paraphrase as best as I can.

"You know all those times when you admire someone from afar, and they never knew? How many times have you been that person for someone else?" 

You may think you know the effect you have on people, but you really don't. Odds are, there is someone out there who finds you an attractive and interesting person, but are just too shy to do anything about it.

Congratulations, you're a heartbreaker.

Even beyond dating, sometimes you just can't help but hurt people's feelings in other ways. I have met people who own the mentality that they "just want to do the right thing." That is so admirable, let me tell you, but always doing the right thing doesn't mean people won't still be hurt.

I honestly believe every single one of our current presidential candidates believes they are doing the right thing. All of them have offended or angered scores of Americans across the nation. You, yourself, have beliefs and principles and morals that may offend the sensibilities of those around you. I am not a smoker, and I have no desire to ever smoke, but I don't judge people who do smoke. It's just a thing people do. However, when I gained the trust of my coworkers while I worked at Sonic, a few grew upset when I refused to participate in their breakly ritual. "Just a puff," they said. "If you don't do it, then you're dissing my lifestyle."

I'm sure many of you have found yourselves in similar situations.

If you have religious, personal, political, or even moral standards, then you'll likely offend someone. Some people are even looking to be offended by people with different sensibilities than them.

"Ok, cool," you say. "You've convinced me. But what's the point?"

I've met some people who hate to hurt people's feelings. I'll admit, I'm one of those people. The thing is, this type of person often hold themselves back. They are so worried that their opinion or action might hurt someone else, they never do anything for themselves. They leap through life's hoops seeking only to please or ease someone else and their own burdens. They date people they don't really want to. They hide their opinions and beliefs in the face of scrutiny. They do things because someone else told them to, not because they wanted to do those things for themselves.

I think I've made my point. So here's my challenge for you today.

If you are worried about hurting people's feelings, don't be. Obviously, this world needs more kindness and tact, but there comes a point where you need to stand for yourself. Be that person. And while some people may turn away from you, the people who will prove the most important in your life will gather around you.

I've seen it.

Salt Lake Comic Con #FANX16 - My Experience Through Memes

This past weekend, I traveled with my employer, Future House Publishing, to the bi-annual Salt Lake City Comic Con, affectionately called 'Fan Xperience.'

I worked hard to ship books, carry books, sell books, and talk about books as much as I could, working with fellow employees and authors alike to promote our brand and pique interest in the amazing things we're doing over here.

Of course, I saw an opportunity to detail my experience (and all its idiosyncrasies) through the medium of memes. Once I came home, I prepared everything and threw them into this blog post.

Enjoy!

Why I Hate When People Tell Me to Follow My Dreams

I want to be a writer.

On my own time, I write novels and even daily blog posts. In regards to compensation, I have received enough money over my lifetime to pay for five months of rent.

That's just rent. No groceries. No electrical bills. Nothing, Just rent.

I have supported myself by taking on other jobs and responsibilities, including a graduate education. However, had I insisted on doing nothing but writing (and therefore following my dream), I would be either living in my parents' basement or starved to death.

I don't want to live life on a street corner, begging for bills while scribbling the rules of fantasy worlds into stained notebooks. I want to live, if not a rich lifestyle, at least a comfortable one.

I have thought about this a lot recently. Whenever I express concern over my career prospects, people tell me they have the answer. "Just follow your dreams, and you'll be fine," they say.

"Great," I say. "But how should I follow my dreams? Just drop everything and start writing? How will I eat? How will I shower? Where will I sleep? If you have an answer, tell me!"

They always keep that last secret from me..

Yeah, ok, I'm a bit of a hypocrite. If you read my post titled Spotlight Review: Zen Pencils and click on number 98, you'll see the comic criticizes my way of thinking. 

At the same time, I like the sentiment of following my dreams, if not the direct application.

Right now, I'm working toward my dream. I'm self-publishing my book. I'm working for a publishing company. I am close to graduating with an English Degree.

But there may come a point in time where I have to step away from that dream and focus on a career path that will bring the most comfort and stability for my family. My responsibilities may swallow or overshadow my dreams.

I'm willing to follow my dreams for now. Because I am responsible for only myself, it's easier. But if my debt grows, if I'm let go from my job, if it becomes time to raise a family ... I may have to move on.

In that sense, I admire people who are able to make dreams a reality. At the same time, I will only follow my dreams when their weight is greater than the weight of responsibility.

Somebody Else's Problem: Trashed Dorm Room

Mosiah 4:16 - "And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need ..."

When I try to describe my summer job to people, they usually begin to glaze over. So, instead, I've taken to saying I just 'do everything' in regards to housing.

But, actually, I don't.

One of my responsibilities is to re-prepare the dorm rooms following the departure of one conference yet prior to the next. Now, in my job description, 'preparing' does not actually mean deep cleaning the rooms themselves. I won't go into the details of what I do, but know that a custodial crew takes care of that aforementioned deep cleaning.

So, my crew and I were going room to room, making sure all the relevant tasks were completed in each, while the custodial crew were coming up behind. Now, conference-goers (usually aged 14-18) are notoriously messy. However, one conference room in particular prompted me to shake my head in disbelief.

To be fair, the picture doesn't do the mess justice. My camera was unprepared for the task. 

Know there was trash spread all over, drinks and liquid had been spilled with a severe abandon, and an assortment of food, chiefly pretzels, had been scattered across the floor and mercilessly ground into the carpet underfoot. I did not envy the custodial crew coming up behind me. I knew they usually cleaned surface layers. Now, their entire flow and rhythm would be stymied as they tackled what somebody else should have been responsible enough to take care of themselves.

Somebody Else's Problem. I'm sure that's what those kids were thinking as they threw their food all over the room. Somebody else will clean it. Somebody else will take care of it. 

It is true the custodial crew is getting paid for this mess, but not any extra than they would for any other room. it's also a mess that could have easily been prevented had someone else been more considerate. If every conference-goer acted as carelessly, then the custodial crew would either have to work more hours or hire more staff. I couldn't believe how inconsiderate these kids were.

How many times am I like that, though?

How many people do I pass on the street who need help? How many times do I see a car pulled over with nobody coming over to help? How many times do I pass people who are asking for money on the side of the road? How many times do people ask me for help or time, and I just ignore?

I'm going to make sure not to forget those whose burdens can be lightened through my efforts. I don't want to make them somebody else's problem.

BOOM Saturday

A Time to Prepare, by Ian S. Ardern - "Time is never for sale; time is a commodity that cannot, try as you may, be bought at any store for any price. Yet when time is wisely used, its value is immeasurable. On any given day we are all allocated, without cost, the same number of minutes and hours to use, and we soon learn, as the familiar hymn so carefully teaches, “Time flies on wings of lightning; we cannot call it back” (“Improve the Shining Moments,” Hymns,no. 226). What time we have we must use wisely. President Brigham Young said, “We are all indebted to God for the ability to use time to advantage, and he will require of us a strict account of [its] disposition” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young [1997], 286)."

My old FHE group wanted to know if I could join them on Saturday for a short reunion.

"POSSIBLY," I typed. "Saturday is currently an eldritch maze of horrors."

And it was.

BOOM. D&D with my homies in the morning. Single-handedly take out a bunch of werewolves whilst riding upon my unicorn. Contemplate the utter geekiness of my hobbies and reassure myself my overactive imagination is not a sign of outright insanity.

BOOM. Volunteer to help out another RA with their program later in the day. Acknowledge that I'm totally going to be cutting it close in making it back from my other errands on time.

BOOM. Haircut time. Drive to a place and use my starving student card to get a sweet discount. Talk with the Hispanic lady cutting my hair about her husband for half an hour. They're doing really well!

BOOM. Time to pick up my suit. Drive to the tailor and inspect her work. Make her day by telling her she did a really awesome job and that I know exactly where I'm coming the next time I need my suit repaired. Remember that I haven't needed any repairs on my suit since I first bought it over three years ago. Refrain from telling the tailor as such.

BOOM. Come home earlier than expected. Find out the company I bought a sketchpad program from finally sent me my keys. Sketch out some concept art for my novel (if it reaches the web fiction format).

BOOM. Get totally distracted and show up to the program late. Realize my wardrobe was improper for the event and book it back to my room to change before booking it back over to my station way over on the side of campus I rarely go to. Get lost trying to find the right building.

BOOM: Realize I totally burned one of my other RAs, with whom I was supposed to help pick out costumes for our Thriller dance practice. Apologize profusely. Smack forehead several times.

BOOM: Blog furiously while freshmen come, find me at my station, and take my hints and secrets that lead them to the next step in their Amazing Race. Celebrate a job well done with donuts and pizza.

BOOM. Work on journal and novel. Resist urge to blow it off and play ultimate Frisbee. Get frustrated with novel because there isn't enough time to reach the goal I set for the day. Find a good stopping point and shrug it off.

BOOM. Fight my email service so I can help another RA with her Halloween costume. Finally print out her name tag. Color printers are the bomb!

BOOM. Head to the Helaman Halls dance. Eat half a pie all by myself. Everyone asks why I'm not wearing a costume, and I tell them I'm a Zygon. No one ever gets the joke. Join another RA in putting on his costume.

BOOM. Receive a call. Am I going to the FHE reunion? I forgot about that. Well, I have something at ten, and I ... It starts at nine? Fine. Let's go.

BOOM. Pick up friend and friend's friend and drive up to Orem. Reunite with FHE family while eating IHOP. Order an appetizer so I can quickly leave before everyone else. Appetizer is served along with everyone else's order, and I end up being the last one eating. Enjoy the company, but quickly bounce.

BOOM. Arrive half an hour late to our Thriller dance practice. Discover that we're starting an hour late because the dance at the Cannon Center stole our space.

BOOM. Read my scriptures until 11.

BOOM. The dance needs to be packed up. Assist in any way possible, putting up chairs, rolling out chairs, carrying ladders, and providing comic relief in the form of using said ladders as battering rams.

BOOM. Despite the fact that I wasn't present throughout the dance, and that I'm not wearing a 'proper' costume (a Zygon is a perfectly reasonable costume, thank you very much), am invited to join in a massive RA picture.

BOOM. Thriller dance practice. Find I'm not doing as bad a job as I thought I might have been. We all get kicked out at midnight.

BOOM. Read comics for a while before finally crashing into bed. The end.

I'm not sure how many of you wanted a play-by-play of my Saturday, but I hope the quotation explains it all (and I hope you read it, too). I found great joy in yesterday, and I'm sure you see why.

So, how was your day?

Getting Things Together: Locked In

"Doesn't it seem foolish to spoil sweet and joyful experiences because we are constantly anticipating the moment when they will end?" - Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Of Regrets and Resolutions

Yesterday, I was determined to catch up on the mountain-load of work I've struggled to keep from overwhelming me. With the one exception to my prior roleplaying commitment, I vowed to reject all invitations for social events or fun for the entire day.

After my commitment, I staggered back to my room with the intention to work all day so I could sleep easy on Sunday night before classes started up again. It was raining, and wouldn't you know that rain just makes me the coziest person in the world, so rather than tackle the mountain, I collapsed on my couch and disappeared to the world.

Of course, disappearing wasn't all that easy. Three different residents came banging on my door because they locked themselves out of their rooms, interrupting my much-needed nap. Finally, when I woke for reals, it was about 5:00pm, and the mountain still loomed.

Homework, journal, blog, novel, chores, readings, all fell before me, yet, despite my best efforts, by the time midnight rolled around, my climb had barely taken me above sea level. However, despite all this, things really weren't that bad. I mean, when you compare the picture in this post to how my room looked yesterday, well, things look a whole lot better.

And I think that's the thing. In small ways, given my overloaded truck-bed of tasks, I keep forgetting to enjoy the journey, focusing more on finishing and completing the individual steps simply so I can 'catch up.' The thing is, I'll never catch up. My to-do list always has something else to add. My responsibilities, whether from church or work or family or hobbies, will always need attention. But that doesn't mean that my day wasn't full of victories, tiny though they may have been. Even though my goals weren't completed, the day was not a waste. It's easy to view life as a win-or-lose all scenario, but honestly? It's not.

So, my challenge for you today is to count your victories! Let them shine in your memory! And be sure to comment below!

Don't Forget to Study: What I did on Saturday

2 Nephi 32:3 - "... feast upon the words of Christ ..."

This is a long block of prose!

I'll be honest, some days, I just don't have a relevant picture. This is probably obvious to you some posts, like when I start craning my neck to somehow tie the daily picture I took with the lesson I learned in the day. As it was, I figured that, at least for today, I would admit I'm at least aware when I'm doing this, and not hide the fact that the following picture has nothing to do with my thoughts. Enjoy!

Well, I just had a weird day in general yesterday. Falling asleep at 4:30am the night before was an idea that could have had disastrous consequences, especially considering I had volunteered to fill in for the DM for my DND group at 9:00am. I woke up at 8:10am, got showered, and arrived just in time to send my teammates on a battle against Scar and his hyena troop.

After that enjoyable adventure, I somehow managed to throw up a blog post and accomplish my daily goal for digitizing my journal before one of my residents knocked on my door and asked to talk. This was the same resident I'd taken to the ER a few nights prior, and he proudly showed me the tubes sticking out of his chest and just talked about everything that had happened after he called me to tell me he was heading into surgery. Poor guy obviously just wanted to talk, but right around the same time he showed up, I started hitting a wall, and about fell asleep on him right in the middle of our conversation.

I set an alarm for about two hours later than it was, hit the snooze button three times, and then just turned the whole thing off. I was out about four hours when my best bro called and asked if he could come hang out at my place. I mumbled something about being asleep, to which he called my bluff and showed up anyway. He roused me out of bed, which was good, considering I still had homework and sleep to accomplish later in the night, and we walked around campus and talked about life for a bit. We eventually parted ways, and I headed back to the dorm to write in my novel, read for my English class, and write a paper.

I was getting tired again, but I wanted to squeeze in an episode of MLP:FIM before midnight, so I threw Netflix on. Unfortunately, the internet was awful, so between buffers, I resumed my reading of the third book in the Maze Runner series. By the time the episode ended, my kindle told me I had about an hour left in the book. I had once again been sucked in by the plot, and so remained reading until just before 1:00am. I had a temple rededication to go to at 9:00am, so I prepared for bed.

Then, I remembered.

I had forgotten.

I was tired and ready to sleep, but I sure as heaven wasn't going to bed until I read my scriptures.

Lights back on, back to the couch, flip on my Gospel Library App, and I read a chapter out of the Book of Mormon and a chapter out of the New Testament. It was a shorter study session than I usually have, but I felt the Spirit, and it was enough.

When I was on my mission, my companions and I would ask our investigators or less-actives or recent converts to read a chapter or two out of the scriptures before we came back a few days later for our return appointment. Probably about 90% of the time, when we came back, they would tell us they 'didn't have time' in the interim.

My reminder for the day is: Make the time! It doesn't matter how tired you are, it doesn't matter what else you've done in the day, you will be strengthened and blessed when you read, study, and ponder God's word. I haven't missed a day since I've come back, though I've had close days like yesterday when I'm about to pass out and I'm reminded, 'Go.' I promise you, your life will seem that much more bright.

Of Ink and Steel

1 John 4:9 - "In this was manifested the love of God toward us ..."

Yesterday was all about literature.
Indeed, I seem to be thriving in a sort of natural habitat for myself. I have gotten it all worked out that I can be doing something with words in some form in just about every second of the day. A quick rundown of what I did yesterday:
1.) Woke up and turned on Alcatraz and the Evil Librarians audio book. Exercised throughout.
2.) Read my scriptures during breakfast.
3.) Turned audio book back on for drive to work.
4.) Resumed reading Interesting Times ebook as I walk into office and wait for computer to boot up.
5.) Begin writing a series of three to five articles for internal and external audiences.

6.) Reward myself for a job well done between articles by reading a few paragraph blocks in ebook.
7.) Listen to ebook on way to meeting and back home again.
8.) Write blog post.
9.) Start typing up my personal daily quota of eight pages out of my mission journal.
10.) Sit down with Pops to watch The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey for the first time.
11.) Bachelor scripture study following the rollicking adventure.
12.) Finish typing journal quota.
13.) Touch novel a little bit. Review some notes for a particularly difficult upcoming scene.
14.) Play audio book while preparing for bed.

In thinking about it, I realize just how blessed I am to be living here, at this time, with the ability to push my work forward immediately, to be able to enjoy literature while doing other things, and, most importantly, to be able to really enjoy it. I have met so many miserable people who don't grasp just how awesome this time is! And, the thing is, it's not just me. God is allowing so many marvelous inventions in the world, that soon, I'm sure everyone will be able to do what they love, even playing football, even while driving to work. And that would just be groovy.

Temples and Temping (with Added Commentary)

D+C 88:124 - "... retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated ..."

So! My body's a temple. It may not be as pretty as some of the other temples out there, but it's a temple regardless. Last night, I did as the above verse suggests, and went to bed early. I even rose earlier than my alarm!
Of course, the only reason why I did either of those things is because I'd worn myself out staying awake too late and getting up earlier than recommended for weeks and weeks on end. I didn't just 'go to bed early.' My body decided it had had enough, and as I was typing up my journal, my system just shut down on me. I barely had time to reach a bed before I was out and gone. Notice it wasn't my bed; bro opted to avoid completely trading places and laid down on the floor downstairs. So, when I woke up, I had forgotten my prayers, I had failed to achieve everything I'd wanted to the night before, and, most importantly, my breath was awful. I think it's time to give me just a little more rest each day. Can't be hurtin' the temple, ya know.

I was working all day yesterday, and I had a blast. I got another post up on the hospital website, and another one went up this morning (though it was more of a collaborative project between me and my boss than anything else, so I'm not really sure why I'm being credited as the author, especially when you compare my first draft to the final). Either way, I had a great time, and I could tell my writing skills were improving from the beginning to the end of the day, especially with all the feedback and advice I was getting. Though most of my companions were blue-collar types on my mission, I stuck to my guns that I personally thrive in a white-collar environment (ironically, I wear a blue collar to work, as you can see), and it's proving to be true.
Talking with the various members of the team about their own life choices and how they ended up working in communications gave me a greater perspective about paths I can choose when I reach where they've already walked. I'm looking forward to those moments.

Hey there! I wrote a short commentary on this post on November 20 of 2014. Click here to read it!

ROFL (with Added Commentary)

1 Corinthians 6:19 - "Know ye not ... ye are not your own?"

I had a real struggle with being humble yesterday, a fight I'm happy to report I won. I only do my internship twice a week, all-day Monday, all-day Thursday, and so today was the first time I was actually able to write an article.
Well! I wrote one article, and I was bombarded with praise from all sides. My superiors were so impressed, they gave me another article to write, and once I finished, I endured another series of compliments. Of course, my superiors had suggestions for things I needed to change or fix--I certainly didn't write a flawless article in one draft--but, regardless, I found it would have been very easy to get a puffed head over everything. Thankfully, I was able to keep in mind the simple fact that God gave me every bit of writing talent I have. If I take any credit for any amount of talent I have, all I can say is that I exercised my agency to practice something God already gave me.

My family invited a whole heap of Mormons over for a party right after I got back from my internship, and I wasn't really looking forward to the experience all that much. As you recall from my post from yesterday, large groups of people still wonk me out, so I was worried I would be sitting there, awkwardly unable to participate or contribute to the surrounding conversation. 

Well, to my relief, some of the people who were invited to the party were actually kindred spirits, and our discussion on all things geek brought me much relief. They actually invited me to participate in a good old fashioned Fourth of July game today: Call of Cthulhu. I'm gearing up to check that out in just a few hours. It's funny how God tosses us those little tender mercies.

Hey there! I wrote a commentary about this post on January 15, 2015. Click here to read!

Enter: The Intern

"...By our righteous choices and actions, we liberate them from darkness by increasing their ability to walk in the light..." -Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

I think I have a habit of being too demanding or preachy. I recognized this following the private conversations I had with my brother yesterday, during which I'd encouraged him regarding his missionary labors and overall charisma. In retrospect, I could have done a better job helping bro feel like his potentially differing opinion still held weight, rather than simply telling him my opinion and, in essence, saying it was the only way. Presenting no choice is, ironically, Satan's way, not God's. Because God loves us enough to give us our agency, he allows us to choose even not to follow Him. Respecting others' choices, even when we disagree with them, will provide us a clearer pathway to God's rest.

I started my internship at PeaceHealth yesterday, and I really enjoyed the experience. I went in feeling pretty nervous, worrying that I would get as hazed as dad was sure I would be, but I was completely relieved when I was outright welcomed with a 4th of July smiley-face button and a bowl of blueberries. For the rest of the day, the team was very patient with me, even when I messed up a series of scans and had to redo them. Despite my expectation and my placard that I would be referred to as simply, 'The Intern,' I was even called by my rightful name. Sure, I was still hazed, sure, I was still called 'The Intern' once or twice, but I felt very at ease throughout the day, even when I ended up lost in the bowels of the building looking for a conference room I was convinced never existed. So far, it's looking like it's going to be a rather delightful experience, and I look forward to continuing to learn from my mentor's stead.