What's YOUR Love Language? - Thinkjoust Tuesday #58

I made an active decision last year to not write this sort of thinkjoust. After all, everyone talks about this stuff, right?

Then I remembered that the world doesn't revolve around me or my group of friends. "Huh," I thought. "Maybe other people will appreciate this sort of post!" So here it is.

Love languages are the ways individuals with different personalities express their appreciation for the people around them. Not everyone offers or responds to acts of love in the same way, and sometimes, this can cause friction and tension between two individuals who otherwise love each other very much.

Just as an example, I had a friend who loved to do things for me. He'd make my bed, make me breakfast, and even do my dishes. Rather than be thankful for his acts of service, I felt somewhat irritated. After all, he was giving his time and effort on things I could do for myself, and I felt extremely lazy and unproductive around him. I told him I was feeling guilty, and he just laughed me off.

At the same time, he felt unappreciated by me because I wasn't expressing love in the ways he did. I wasn't about to do his dishes, but I loved to hug him and offer him compliments.

The thing was, neither of us really felt appreciated by the other person because we were expressing love in ways that the other person didn't respond to well. The thing was, we were both expressing love, and that is the most important part.

Once we learn how other people express love, we can learn to respond to them in kind. For example, once my friend and I realized we were just having a love language disconnect, we worked at serving/complimenting each other, respectively (he still wasn't super into hugs, but I give them out like candy, so it balanced out).

Anyway, the point is, if you don't know your love languages, why not find them out?

I recommend this link here, which takes you to a test that analyzes your love language profile. Give it a shot, and then post your results in the comments! I'll be sure to be back this Saturday to talk about your results and what it means for the future of Change and Cherish.

See you then!

Thinking Differently is NOT Thinking Wrong

Our new Change and Cherish mascots make their official debut in this final scheduled Friday post! I'm calling them 'The Light-bulb People' for now. They're supposed to represent the concept of thought, inspired by the cartoons which often portray light-bulbs over the heads of characters after they have an idea.

As you can see above, today's two light-bulbs emit different-colored lights. This demonstrates that some people think differently than yourself. Yes, you, faithful reader. And, of course, I'm here to say that that doesn't make them wrong.

As I discussed in the 16 Personalities post, everyone has a different personality, and because of this, everyone has a different filter through which they view the world. For example, one person may be opposed to drinking caffeine, but another person may absolutely love to drink it. One of the most all-time popular Change and Cherish Blog posts revolves around tattoos. I mention in the post that Mormons don't generally get tattoos, but I don't think I'd get a tattoo even if I wasn't Mormon. I don't even like people writing on me, so a tattoo on my own flesh would drive me nuts. However, that doesn't mean I think every person who has tattoos are crazy or idiotic. And I shouldn't either way.

The same goes for philosophies, politics, and even religious beliefs. Too often we find people on different sides of a debate, unwilling to consider or seek compromises. I, myself, have been guilty of assuming a strong stance against something or other and refusing to see an issue from the other side. When we think about things like gun control, the best solution for all parties can rarely be found among extremist sides.

Even social interactions can be viewed through different lenses. Just because you like to go around and party and be surrounded by people, doesn't mean your introverted friends can't thrive doing something by themselves. They aren't wrong for liking their alone time.

I only bring this up because I believe many people often think to themselves, mostly unconsciously, "If you think or act differently than me, then you're wrong." Even worse, people sometimes go so far as to assume someone 'different' is automatically an antagonist to their beliefs and lifestyle. As an example, just because I'm a Mormon, doesn't mean I despise all other religions. Just because I'm a man, doesn't mean I despise feminists. Just because I'm a millennial, doesn't mean I like Bernie Sanders.

If I am careful to consider the fact that nobody has to be wrong, then I often find more peace and kindness in my daily life. 

I hope that everyone finds the same.

Making the Most of Things: My Easter Vigil

I spent my entire time at Comic Con shaking hands and getting real close and personal with friends and strangers alike.

Come Sunday, Easter morning? I was sick.

As it was, I couldn't really muster enough strength to get myself ready for church. No, staying home and napping sounded just fine to me.

Of course, once I'd napped all my napping and stayed all my staying, I didn't know what else to do with the length of my Sunday. I don't work on creative projects or do homework on the Sabbath, so my usual time-fillers were kaput.

So I decided to do an Easter Vigil.

I went onto Mormon.org and watched some of the videos there, including this one and this one. I read every entry in this article, which inspired me to pull out my New Testament and read about the last week of Jesus' life in every single one of the Gospels. I watched my favorite Easter video of all time and cried over it. I even found some up and coming YouTubers who had released #Hallelujah videos of their own, using their talents to spread #Hallelujah in the same way I used my blog last Friday.

The entire experience was one of the most spiritually uplifting things I've ever done.

I may not have been able to take the sacrament. I may have missed out on the Easter testimonies of those in my ward. But I made the most of my sick Easter.

And that made all the difference.

It was enough.

Falling Acoustic (Video) - Throwback Commentary #60

Hey there! This is a commentary about the post I wrote on December 20, 2014. Click here to read the original!

I wasn't kidding when I said I wrote this song in a fit of emotion.

Consider the conception, lyrics, music, and final recording. I'm pretty sure the entire process took less than 15 minutes. If that seems impossibly short, I'll give myself a five-minute leeway in case my memory is utterly flawed. (Of course, the video IS only a minute and a half, sooooo ...)

Like all of humanity, I struggle with individual weaknesses. Nothing grinds my gears more than when I slip into an old habit or make a recurring mistake. I take such breaches of my code of conduct personally, and I respond by praying, writing expressive poetry, and then putting these thoughts to music.

You would think I'd have gotten over the 'angsty musician' stage in my teenage years.

Be sure to give this video another view if it's been a while! And let me know if you've ever felt this way.

Hey there! This is a commentary about the post I wrote on December 20, 2014. Click here to read the original!

Evolution: And Another Thing ...

"Finding Joy in the Journey" - Thomas S. Monson

Yesterday, I described driving up a canyon to take some time to meditate. It while I was up there that I realized something very important.

I like going on drives without destination.

I have had many friends throughout the years who have advocated meandering drives. Some of those friends even go so far as to invite me to hang out with them on those drives. For the most part, I've turned them down. What's the point of moving when you're not heading anywhere? I thought.

My perspective on similarly simple things has also changed over the years. For example, whereas I used to fear and loathe dogs, now I, at the very least, tolerate them. It's funny to me how the passage of time can provide and prompt experiences and subtle changes to work within us, most of them without us ever recognizing them.

My drive yesterday was therapeutic in a way it never was back in the day. But now, I think back to those who first planted the seed all those years, and I thank them strongly.

Getting Things Together: Locked In

"Doesn't it seem foolish to spoil sweet and joyful experiences because we are constantly anticipating the moment when they will end?" - Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Of Regrets and Resolutions

Yesterday, I was determined to catch up on the mountain-load of work I've struggled to keep from overwhelming me. With the one exception to my prior roleplaying commitment, I vowed to reject all invitations for social events or fun for the entire day.

After my commitment, I staggered back to my room with the intention to work all day so I could sleep easy on Sunday night before classes started up again. It was raining, and wouldn't you know that rain just makes me the coziest person in the world, so rather than tackle the mountain, I collapsed on my couch and disappeared to the world.

Of course, disappearing wasn't all that easy. Three different residents came banging on my door because they locked themselves out of their rooms, interrupting my much-needed nap. Finally, when I woke for reals, it was about 5:00pm, and the mountain still loomed.

Homework, journal, blog, novel, chores, readings, all fell before me, yet, despite my best efforts, by the time midnight rolled around, my climb had barely taken me above sea level. However, despite all this, things really weren't that bad. I mean, when you compare the picture in this post to how my room looked yesterday, well, things look a whole lot better.

And I think that's the thing. In small ways, given my overloaded truck-bed of tasks, I keep forgetting to enjoy the journey, focusing more on finishing and completing the individual steps simply so I can 'catch up.' The thing is, I'll never catch up. My to-do list always has something else to add. My responsibilities, whether from church or work or family or hobbies, will always need attention. But that doesn't mean that my day wasn't full of victories, tiny though they may have been. Even though my goals weren't completed, the day was not a waste. It's easy to view life as a win-or-lose all scenario, but honestly? It's not.

So, my challenge for you today is to count your victories! Let them shine in your memory! And be sure to comment below!

Just Move

Matthew 25:40 - "... Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

Bro and youngest sis invited me to go out with them and 'the boyfriend' to Burgerville yesterday. I blatantly refused. I had a variety of reasons, but even as I watched them drive away, I regretted saying no. Sure, my evening wasn't ruined, mom and dad and I taking the opportunity to hike up to the Pool of the Winds after everyone else left. However, the second I told my siblings "no," I felt an urge to rescind my answer, despite that I didn't actually have any real desires to go. I felt the spirit prompting me to chase after them even twenty minutes after they left. I'll never know why. I allowed my own stubbornness to keep me from doing the best thing, and even now, though both of my siblings are safe and at home, I don't know what I might have prevented.

We woke bright and early this morning to help out a family in the ward with their move. Even though I barely knew anyone in the crowd when I arrived, I made a lot of friends, and even found someone willing to have a jam session with me, the first of which we scheduled for today. As we worked, I felt great, knowing that I was doing my part to serve my Lord and Master through serving His flock. I received no reward (save for the LifeSavers cylinder the mother slipped me during services today), and expected none.
Finding opportunities to serve is far more difficult now that I'm home and caught up in the daily grind. I relish every opportunity I have.