I don't want to be in control, nor do I want to be without say. I want to be in a partnership, equally yolked. I want to make big decisions only after conferring with my significant other. I want us both to feel confident in our decisions and push forward with a full understanding that we will support each other no matter what.
It's likely impossible to form this sort of bond prior to entering a relationship. As it is, society dictates that someone has to initiate romantic contact before any partnership can be formed. In our society, it is the man who acts as the initiator, usually by asking a lady on a date.
When a guy asks a girl on a date, he is generally putting himself into a vulnerable position. If the guy is truly interested in the girl, then he has, in a way, already committed to at least seeing where things might go.
I'm OK with that. The thing is, as time goes on, and I ask a girl on more and more dates, there comes a point when she gains control.
She may express interest, but seems hesitant about fully committing. She may be slow to finalize plans. She may be dating several other guys. She may seem eager to socialize in person, but distant when away.
I'm OK with that. But the longer that goes on, the less I want to keep up the pursuit.
If I were to actually enter into a relationship with that sort of person, then I'm signalling that while it was an easy choice for me, it was a difficult, even trying, choice for her. Already the partnership I'm gunning for is undermined, because it puts her on a pedestal where she has the final say in where our relationship goes and what it decides.
When I'm looking for a relationship, I'm looking for someone who's just as willing to take a chance on me as I am on them.
ahhhh you got me on the clickbait title, but well said.
ReplyDeleteIt took me some time to finally admit to myself that the title was clickbait. Glad you enjoyed it anyway! :)
DeleteI like the way you think
ReplyDeleteWhy, thank you! :)
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