Saturday, May 14, 2016

When I Care About the Opinions of Others - Response Saturday #16



I didn't get a lot of comments on this past week's thinkjoust, so maybe I need to come up with better topics? Who knows. We'll see. Either way, most of what I talk about today will be less of a response to your comments, and more of an outline of my own thoughts.

The question was, "When Should You Care About What Others Think?"

For starters, you have to be you first. I and many of my friends often ask each other for advice about how to act (including when we're trying to understand the opposite gender), but when we make a choice, we make it our own. Our decisions and the lives we lead are products of choice, of our own self-motivated spirit.

There comes times when other people criticize us for the choices we make, whether great or small. It is in these moments when we demonstrate our conviction to ourselves. If we change who we are because of someone else, then our conviction is weakened. Judgments, especially those which are unfounded, are not worth my time to consider.

Who am I am is how I act in both adversity and prosperity. What I believe is not necessarily who I am. As such, when someone questions my belief systems by expressing their own, I should carefully consider everything they say and then keep or discard the truth from it.

In a personal example, after I write a book, I cannot discard the opinions and criticisms of my fans. While not every criticism pointed at every creative work can be considered valid (I'm looking at you, internet trolls), I need to carefully consider those that are valid. The reviews for Ama's Watch (Amazon and Goodreads) have been enlightening and instructive for me as a writer, and I'm pleased to have such an eager and honest fan base. I have to care about their opinions.

Most importantly, I may not care about the opinions of others, but I need to care for others, regardless of their opinions. If I turn away someone's friendship or even companionship because we think, act, or look differently, then I am no better than the "judgmental" people I so "disdain."

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