Traffic Week: Rubbernecking and Why I Hate It

That's right, folks, I have a whole series of posts chatting about traffic! Will I have fun writing them? Definitely! Will you question my ability to write six different posts about traffic? Absolutely! Will I write them anyway?

HECK YES.

Thank you, Meme Faces, for illustrating my rage in ways I never could have written.

Seriously, why do people rubberneck? Let me give you several reasons why you should never rubberneck.

1.) Rubbernecking is pointless.

No matter how long you look at the aftermath of a car accident, you will never be able to figure out all the details. If you start rubbernecking so you can 'figure out what happened,' guess what? I can already tell you what happened. AN ACCIDENT, GENIUS/.You'll never know who was at fault, how many people were injured, how much property damage was caused, or, really, any other detail. An accident's an accident. Move along!

2.) Rubbernecking is rude.

So somebody just got into a car wreck, they're pretty shaken up, police are firing hundreds of questions at them, and now they got the ENTIRE HIGHWAY gawking at their plight. Hey, listen up, rubberneckers, didn't your mamma ever tell you it's rude to stare? And if she didn't, let me tell you something: IT'S FLINAZZLING RUDE TO STARE,

3.) Rubbernecking is selfish.

Let me expose the mindset of a rubbernecker. "Oh, hey, look, someone having a bad day! I'm just going to slow down and stare at them for a while. Who cares that there are hundreds of people behind me, trying to reach home or work or other important things. Yep, I'm just going to slow down and take my time to ogle the accident. I'm in no rush, so why should anyone else be?"

Yo, listen up.

STAHP IT.