Is Christ a Good Tap-Dancer? - Thinkjoust Tuesday #50

This thinkjoust is pretty simple.

Many Christians believe Jesus Christ is perfect. Some people believe that Christ's perfection extends beyond his leadership, personality, and self-awareness to talents and abilities.

In essence, if Christ is perfect, then how is he perfect? Is he a perfect singer? Is he a perfect dancer? Is he a perfect sculptor, athlete, artist? Is Christ an excellent tap-dancer? His time on earth didn't give him time to learn all these things, but did he know them before? When he ascended, did he gain those abilities after?

So, to sum things up, does the Christian concept of perfection include tap-dancing?

I'll respond with my own thoughts this next Saturday, but what do you think? Be sure to leave a comment below or on social media, and you may be featured!

Why You Should Tell Strangers They're Beautiful - Response Saturday #18

This last Tuesday, I asked the question, "Should You Tell Strangers They're Beautiful?" The one response was both awesome and enthusiastic.

I would have liked more people's opinions, but it is summer. Nobody's slacking off in class anymore.

The thing is, I asked all those question in the thinkjoust because I honestly don't know. If you were a stranger, and I randomly told you you were beautiful, would you appreciate the compliment?

At this point, I want to leave some sort of challenge or commitment. "Try it out," I might say. "Tell a stranger they're beautiful, and I'll do the same." The thing is, without any form of accountability, the whole challenge becomes nothing but a pleasant little string of words at the end of a post, designed to make you feel good about yourself.

So how about this.

If five people comment about their experience of telling a stranger that they're beautiful, then I will write a whole post in exquisite Zachary James detail about my own experience doing the exact same thing.

Honestly, doing such a thing goes a bit beyond my own comfort level. However, if I get enough of you to engage with the challenge, then I'll gladly do it myself, probably in an embarrassing fashion.

I look forward to hearing about your experience!

The Rhinoceros Technique in Dating - Thursday Thought #4

During Valentine's Week 2016, I talked about how people can clear up all misunderstandings between genders with proper communication. That particular post was designed to help people maintain and develop pre-established relationships.

But let's talk about communication in regards to romantic interests.

Let's say you're a (guy/girl) crushing on a (girl/guy). You think they're attractive, or fun to be around, or just very, very interesting. However, you're not sure they would feel the same way. What do you do?

In my case, I would use what I call the Rhinoceros Technique.

It's simple, really. Imagine a rhinoceros charging forward. Anything with a brain will get out of the way, and anything without a brain better hope it's made of material strong enough to withstand five thousand pounds of wild animal. If the rhinoceros wants to get anywhere, by golly, you better believe it can.

So the same with relationships. If you're interested in someone, be a rhinoceros, charge in, and tell them how you feel. One of three things will happen.

(1) They might not be sure, but be willing to feel things out.

(2) They might not feel the same way.

(3) They might, you guessed it, actually feel the same way.

Sure, some disappointment might come if the first, and definitely the second, turns out to be the case. But what do you really lose if you just say how you feel? And if they feel the same way, think of what you have to gain.

So, the next time you're spending way too much time wondering about your crush, consider this. And let me know in the comments if it works out!

Should You Tell Strangers They're Beautiful? - Thinkjoust Tuesday #49

This video went viral for a while back in 2015. Ever since then, I've been thinking about how this sort of exercise would work in an open setting.

For example, I remember when I was first entering the missionary training center. As my Dad drove me up to the cul-de-sac to drop me off, a group of missionaries heading off to exercise in the field passed by my open window. "Welcome!" some of them called.

"YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!" one bellowed.

The compliment surprised me, but I was so relieved by the random compliment, I was better able to shoulder the conflicting emotions I was feeling, as well as better hold back any threatening tears looming to escape the jail of my ducts.

I've heard other stories of individuals being told that they're beautiful by random strangers, and how touched and excited they were thanks to this encounter. Even though telling strangers they're beautiful seems to grind against American social structures, I don't think anyone would be entirely against having this experience.

At the same time, I can imagine certain circumstances in which people might be put off by this sort of complimenting. What if the complimenter is much older than the complimentee, but not old enough? What if the complimenter just looks creepy, or gives off creepy vibes? What if the complimentee just doesn't find the complimenter beautiful back? What if the delivery comes across as forced or awkward? What if the complimentee just feels like they're being hit on? What if the complimenter uses the exchange to hit on the complimentee?

As you can see, this can go a lot of different directions. Complimenting random strangers may not always be appropriate.

So here's the thinkjoust. Is this activity ever appropriate? And if so, then when? Comment below or on the usual social media platforms, and you may just be featured!

I look forward to hearing what you all have to say.

How I Cope With Trials - Response Saturday #17

I apparently picked a tough topic for the thinkjoust again this week. My bad, guys! Either way, thanks to the people who responded to the prompt. Let's jump into my thoughts, shall we?

I recently attended a short seminar by Jeff DeSarbo, a psychiatrist dedicated to the mental well-being of humanity.

And here he is!

DeSarbo spoke a lot about how to find peace by watching and, if necessary, changing the way you think. Let me share some of my thoughts about what he said.

Now, before we begin, I would be the last person to say that this advice is good bedside manner. If you're struggling to cope with a trial, this may not help. However, if you'd like to preemptively prepare for trials with possible coping mechanisms, well, this is your post.

Let's imagine two near-identical situations with one small variable changed. You're walking downtown on a beautiful sunny day, smiling and enjoying the breeze. Now throw yourself in the same situation, but then a construction worker accidentally dumps a bucket of dirty water all over you. For a lot of people, that would be a miserable experience (myself included).

In that moment of being drenched, you have two options. One, you can continue on your way with the same smile and enjoyment. You didn't have any control over the construction worker, so why worry or get upset? Why let the water ruin your day? Two, the other option is to do the exact opposite.

Letting things roll off your back is difficult, especially when you can't control what's happening. I, myself, seek to find someone to blame and even hate when placed into such situations. "Curse you, random rooftop-dwelling construction worker!" I might scream. "I only leave my lair of writing once a year, and this is how I'm rewarded for trying to get some sun on my skin?"

At the same time, serenity is not worrying about things you have no control over. If you can conquer your urges to allow your emotions to be controlled by outside stimulus, then your peace and happiness in life can be that much stronger. If you are the calmest in a sea of chaos, then you are in control.

So what do you think? Was that helpful, or not at all? Let me know in the comments below!

A Note on the Dating Habits of Feminists - Thursday Thought #3

This post is very much a sister post to the last Thursday Thought.

I consider myself a supporter of pure feminism, which I define as a movement seeking equality for women.* It appalls me when women are objectified by the media, by society, and by people I know. Women deserve to have every right a man does. Many people are depressingly ignorant of the physical, social, and mental issues associated with the abuse of women. I have met and heard of men who are irredeemable because of the way they treat the opposite sex. For example, I am incredibly angered by the actions of Mike Faverman, which recently went viral (note: Faverman's texts contain some graphic descriptions).

Now, I'm not going to say I'm a feminist, nor am I going to say I'm perfect at standing up for every feminist issue. I profess to and apologize for my ignorance regarding many of these issues. At the same time, I've noticed a few unpleasant trends in my dating life that are connected to self-proclaimed feminists, and I wanted to address them.

For starters, if you are a feminist, please don't disrespect my attempts to be chivalrous. Yes, chivalry is not dead. Yes, some men are jerks, but I don't hold your door open so I can look at your butt. I don't try to buy my way to kisses with dinner. I hold your door open because I'm showing you respect. I buy you dinner because I enjoy your company and doubt my own company would be worth it otherwise.

And you know what? I'm not going to stop doing those things. But if you are a feminist, don't take advantage of me. If you truly believe in equality between men and women, don't just keep accepting dates because you like getting free meals. I may enjoy your company, but don't waste your time if you don't enjoy mine. And if you do enjoy my company, then at least offer to buy a meal sometime, or even hold the door open. I probably won't let you, but at least I'll know you're not just enjoying the feeling of being served by a member of the opposition, aka men.

And if you're a feminist, don't play hard to get. Don't play coy and play games with people's minds. Don't put yourself on a pedestal. Don't make yourself a prize to be won. All you're really doing is objectifying yourself. You turn yourself into an object to lust after. You make yourself unreachable, and therefore less personable. Your refusal to communicate your true feelings masks your true character and persona, making it impossible for your value as a three-dimensional person to come to light. You are more than a shiny trophy. Don't be one.

And finally, it can be annoying to see men act like pigs. It can be annoying to watch them ogle and pine over statuesque celebrities. But if you are a feminist, don't ogle and pine over shirtless boy bands and actors. Otherwise, you engage in the same objectifying act. Don't create another double standard. The search for equality across gender, race, and creed should never compromise on any double standards.

This post may not be popular. I apologize for any offense, for none is intended. And I am definitely not saying all women, or even all feminists, act in the ways I described. That would be generalizing.

And I hate all generalizations.**

*I do not support extreme feminism, which I define as the aggrandization of women over men.

**I see the irony here.

How Do You Cope With Trials? - Thinkjoust Tuesday #48

Original picture taken from On an Adventure: a girl and her boys

One of my friends threw me a link a few weeks ago asking me to run a thinkjoust about the couple featured in the blog On an Adventure: a girl and her boys.

To make a long story short, a couple (Spencer and Whitney) struggling with infertility decided to take 6 sets of photos in honor of Infertility Awareness Week. The first half of the series were representations of modern pregnancy announcements. The second half of the series were parodies of those same announcements.

The photos were a mixed bag of emotions for me. While the comparisons were funny, and Spencer and Whitney's over-the-top emotions perfected the parody, it was obvious the couple found the experience of infertility utterly painful.

However, Spencer and Whitney coped through good humor and optimism. They've adopted two boys, and they seem happy as all out.

At the same time, I could imagine some couples failing to see the humor in the announcements. Some individuals may find the parody photos insensitive, especially if viewed out of context. That isn't to say Spencer and Whitney were wrong to make those photos, but to point out that there are many ways to overcome difficult times.

Not everyone feels confident finding ways to cope with difficult, sad, or depressing times. That's why I wanted to ask you guys how you cope. Do you use humor? Do you take time to be alone and meditate? Do you visit with family or friends?

Let me know in the comments ways you think your methods might help others, and this Saturday, I'll share my own methods of coping.

Don't forget to send any suggestions for future posts via the suggestion link up top! I love you guys, and I'll see you Thursday!