The Date You Should Kiss On & Why I Hate It

Today's post is the follow up to the post at this link.

On Tuesday, I asked people on which date they thought the guy should kiss the girl. I said I personally don't want to kiss a girl until I've made some sort of direct commitment to her.

Special thanks to my models.

The responses were mixed. Some people took the time to chat about a first date anecdote (I didn't save these comments for posterity because they didn't necessarily help answer the question). Some people agreed with my philosophy. Others thought my philosophy was stupid.

The arguments against my philosophy were more eloquently put than were the arguments for my personal philosophy. As it was, the answer to my question seemed to be, "Second date or bust."

The thing was, several of my close female friends have told me they liked my way of thinking. And when I talked about my post with a new friend of mine, she told me I was spot on with my philosophy.

Of course, all this confusion didn't really answer my former question. "Which Date Should You Kiss On?" There didn't seem to be one answer, and I agonized over how to write this post.

Then, all at once, I had it.

I already wrote about this issue at this link.

See, there's two different versions of 'The Game'. One is the version I just made you lose. The other is a shortened way to say 'The Dating Game.' And nobody likes the dating game. But what really is the Dating Game?

A failure to communicate.

For example, when a girl looks between the lines of every text a guy sends, she's playing the dating game. She is assuming he's not being forthright in his statements. She guess and second guesses every move he makes, expecting ulterior motives because she doesn't want to ask exactly what he's thinking.

On the flip side, when a guy looks between the lines of every text a girl sends, he's playing the dating game. He is assuming she's not being forthright in her statements. He guess and second guesses every move she makes, expecting ulterior motives because he doesn't want to ask exactly what she's thinking.

If people were more upfront, the 'Dating Game' would die.

So let's go back to kissing. It's pretty obvious that many different people have many different viewpoints about kissing and when you should initiate. What if people with different kissing philosophies start going on dates together?

Why not talk about it?

Me: "Hey, girl I'm into! I really enjoyed this second date, and I want to kiss you, but I personally don't feel super comfortable kissing girls until I'm committed to them."

Girl: "That's totally fair! However, I don't feel super comfortable going on a third date with you until you express your interest with a kiss."

Me: "So you're saying if I don't kiss you, it's a deal breaker?"

Girl: "Yeah! What if we don't kiss before we start dating officially, and it turns out you're a super gross kisser?"

Me: "Yeah, and what if you're a super gross kisser?"

Girl: "Uh ... sure?"

... or the girl says she's willing to wait or whatever. The point is, if you're willing to talk about it, you can figure out not only how to mesh your kissing philosophies, but also how you can talk through things together. That's also important to know before you guys start reaching critical commitment levels, anyway.

But what do you think? Be sure to leave a comment below!

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