The day I had today is the day I will explain tomorrow. And it's not even over yet! Funny how this blog works, eh?
I went with my sister to the Forest Home ward again today, to help her reunite with a new friend she connected with last week. It was a little awkward; I said I wasn't coming back last week, and, instead, I still showed up today!
... Ah, it's hard to describe this past weekend without throwing everything in the air. I'll probably get a little more specific come tomorrow's post, but not by much. The important thing is, I finally got it. It took me a while, but I finally got it.
I was laying on my floor, near dead after having stayed up way too late to tag-read a gaslamp fantasy webcomic and a Brandon Sanderson novel. I was staring at the opposite wall with what I'm sure was a dull expression, too tired to stay awake, too tired to get in bed. For just a moment, as my tired mind sorted through the day, I understood something.
I understood something.
Oh, I knew what I was doing somewhere inside of me, given some of my subconscious reactions to things over the past couple of weeks, but, all at once, laying in a heap on my carpet floor, I understood where I'd gone wrong. I had been fighting the relationship training I'd received on my mission! I had allowed the way certain family members treated me to affect my own reactions to them. I was tired of them being acted upon, and then I had turned around and was being acted upon by their actions!
WHOA! Suddenly, it all made sense! I needed to change before I could help others to change! Just because they're family, just because I have a lifetime to make amends, doesn't justify me! I went to bed, slightly energized, and I offered one of the better prayers I have since my return. I prayed for the family member's eternity.
I collapsed.
And then I had a very strange dream.
To be continued ...
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